i am pretty nyc a makeup and beauty site by Kim Weinstein

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Can't Live Without Dr. Hauschka

kim | 04 May, 2007 18:58

Have I mentioned this before? Certainly the lip balm, which is not waxy, super-light and luscious and will cure any dryness you have (at $11, it had better!) and now, I'm on to the Rose Day Creme which moisturizes and even, dare I say, tightens and refines the skim. It's higher on the spectrum of their moisturizers, but it's really not greasy and it does absolute wonders. (about $30).

Once I heard that the crops are grown in a small plot in Germany and the workers mediate over them. You sort of feel that way as they are sinking into your skin: home grown herbs, clean, permeable oils and good intentions. It works!

Are You Still Reading This?

kim | 12 March, 2007 20:48

I have to thank you for that. Sometimes Alice of Finslippy fame doesn't post for about a week or so, and I check almost every day. You will not find that a problem at thismom, she inspires me every day. If you're still hanging in there with me, thanks.

Here's the deal, and I've been afraid to say it: I'm bored with blogging. It's not meaningful the way I'm doing it right now or really that lucrative. I want to do makeup or write my novel or help in the fight against global warming. I don't want to review products. I want to just wear them. I try to make it funny but if I were to say what I really wanted to say, this wouldn't be this website.

I'm experiencing a shift for a few reasons; and this is not what I intended to do with my life. I've kept it going because I love knowing that I have been connecting with thousands of people who actually take the time to read what I have to say and appreciate (or roll their eyes) at what I think. Thank you so much for returning, day after day.

I am still working as a makeup artist and you should consider hiring me because, well, if it takes you more than 10 minutes to do your makeup in the morning or you don't really know how to do a smokey eye at night, then we have something to talk about.

I am not going to take it down for a while. I think I may be re-fashioning it. I am cooking up a few business ideas so that when I'm done with my dirty little novel (and, well, it's pretty dirty) that I will have something new to step into. Being a freelance makeup artist is hard; doing it part time only so that I can also be mostly a mother is amost not viable. I'm tired and I need to use all my energy for my little guy and my creative writing and working, which I do alot.

So visit for the archives and please send me your emails so that I can keep you updated about a relaunch, a novel or a new product that will help and hopefully not clog any landfills.

I will leave you with a few thoughts:

Blush is not bronzer, damnit. Cut it out.

Red/brick/pink blush emanating from the ears toward the cheek looks ridiculous.

Just learn how to put on your f-ing eyeliner straight if you have a bag that costs more than $500. Priorities, people.

A good blow-out accounts for 50% of your looking good, true, but if you don't know how to put your makeup on, then people will know that there's something wrong with you, but they will not know what it is.

All of this doesn't really matter if the planet is dying and if people around the world do not enjoy civil rights or even having their basic needs met. I mean, to me. So. I'm going to work on all of that.



A Little Sumpin Sumpin

kim | 22 February, 2007 07:20

If you ever go outside without your entire makeup collection with you and you want to touch up your shiny nose or chin (which, if you are taking pictures, you might want to think about) then I suggest this compact by Estee Lauder:

As you can see, it's limited edition, but it's perfect for daytime, nightlife and most importantly, brides. $27, www.gloss.com


kim | 19 February, 2007 06:20

Because of an ungodly amount of spam, I just got iced out of my server the same way I get icd out of these mean mommy playdates (you have no idea!) I'm working on the problem, and will be archiving some stuff now, so hang in there with me. And then I'm going to tell you about a bag I fell in love with...

I worked the crack of ass shift all weekend long and even one of the people I did landed in Page 6 for their bad behavior. Oy.

Proenza Pink!

kim | 07 February, 2007 11:10

What is smarter than this? Lancome custom blended a lipstick for Proenza Schouler inspired by Gucci Westman's color choice for the Proenza's spring show. Wear it with a dark eye and, wowweee, what a beautiful look! $25 at Bergdorf's. There's a waiting list, dude. Sign up now.

Why We Don't Have Fashion Week here at IAPNYC

kim | 06 February, 2007 07:12

This is not meant as a judgement to anyone who does or doesn't do fashionweek on their blogs, but this is why I don't do it here:

1. My blog is meant to help regular women. You do not, as far as I can tell, have your Fall 2007 wardrobes yet.

2. Fashion Week is an industry event and while it will help me tremendously when I pitch articles to magazines, it's not really going to matter until August 2007 because I'm not buying any merchandise for my website.

3. I am reluctant to talk shit about other artists. I have had great success as an artist and I've had painful failures. If they were all trotted out before the world: ouch.

4. I hate a dog and pony show, it's not my dog and pony show.

But does that mean that I don't love the coverage on other sites? Not at all! I love it! So go now and enjoy!

Going Gray Gracefully, for Kendra

kim | 02 February, 2007 13:23

Okay, there's no way to do it. Especially if you have alot of gray! Try headbands, try the Rhoda head scarf, try hats. But from a makeup standpoint, keep these things in mind:

At least wear some mascara so that your eyes don't fade out into your face. Don't wear white eyeshadow. Try a satin-y semi-matte. Laura Mercier is one of your best bets.

Gray skin can turn an olive skin green and a sallow skin gray, so make sure your skin is perked up. By that, I mean make sure that you are wearing enough blush (not too much!) Tenderling by MAC and Oasis by Nars are two great picks. However, if you have roseacea, cover that up now. Lauren Hutton is also coming out with a new mineral line, you can give them a try.

Make sure you are wearing the right concealer! Make sure there is no brown or blue under your eyes in the way of luggage and make sure your broken capalleries on the sides of your nose are hidden.

Lipstick is best when it's a medium to deep sheer color. Women who have gray hair don't look totally spectacular with gloss, but if you don't want full-on lipstick, then try some sheers by Laura Mercier. Or Cover Girl Lip Slicks. Seriously.

Last Week I...

kim | 30 January, 2007 08:42

Saw my article in Time Out New York about germs (apropos of my own germ phobia, but it was assigned to me, I swear!), I helped a socialite get ready for a make-up related party (my makeup was in the company of some of the heaviest hitters in the NY beauty scene!), I worked on television, I helped three women streamline their routines with a lunch time make-up bag purge and, boy, was it fun.

But I can't stop thinking about those dino cookies.

Also, I just cleaned up my personal makeup area and found all my missing lipsticks. I picked up the Nars dark blue liquid liner and got all excited because I thought it was nail polish and I was going to do it at my job this morning at my job that started at 4 AM. So today, I want dark purple black nails. When I go pick up some dental floss, I will pick up some of the darkest purple I can find and do it up on short, short nails.

The Nicest Compliment

kim | 24 January, 2007 07:49

A friend in a bad situation here moved to California recently. She drove across the United States with her two little hands and her two little feet and she sat on her petite bottom and held herself up by her delicate waist and she took all 99 lbs. of herself and she changed her life. I was very proud and impressed but I miss her.

She has a lovely new boyfriend and a promising new career, a fabulous house and a calmer lifestyle. A few days ago, her foxy new boyfriend took a look at some pictures at an event where I had done her makeup and he said that I was a genius. He said I had captured her essence that night and that I was brilliant and completely talented.

I mean, this was a guy who never met me, saw it in a picture and, well, I was completely complimented. How she's gonna get gorgeous like that again, I'll never know. Unless I move...it will never happen.

Carpal Dino Syndrome

kim | 22 January, 2007 00:56

Last week I had a private client, an industry fashion show (where I saw editorial luminaries and almost choked!) an article due along with acquisition of a new source in the 24th hour, my daily blogging and the kid's birthday party. I had it at a party factory, that is to say, a place that does lots of parties and it was really fun. I gave the people what they wanted: home made mnm cookies and salami. And purple soda. I got the kids favors but I went the extra 10 miles and made dino cookies. With dino cookie cutters taht I shlepped around the whole city to get. Then I made royal icing. Then I embellished them.

It occured to me that I really do love to work with my hands, and if I can't do faces, then I have to do cookies. It's beyond my control. I was making the mnm cookies up till the last minute to the extent that they were warm when we got to the party. My hands are sore now. I have Carpal Dino Syndrome.

I just made some dino cupcakes for the kid's school birthday, because they do that there, and I can't help but think that I didn't figure out a smart non-sugar alternative for cupcakes. So, sorry about that everyone. I'm on a learning curve here as a parent and I have to be creative within conventional parameters right now. Herewith are the before and after shots of some of the cookies, with closeups. Thanks for indulging me.

Raquel Welch Collection for MAC

kim | 17 January, 2007 20:37

Holy Molina, there has not been such a gorgeous collection for MAC since the Diana collection. There are pinks here but there are also beautiful peaches and golds. I would even wear some of the long-staying ones. I will write more as I get permission, is it out yet? It comes with the coolest leapord packaging, oh, my, I love the MAC. I love this collection.

Best Makeover on the Red Carpet Goes To...

kim | 16 January, 2007 17:13

The foxy Sacha Baron Cohen. Isn't he kind of hot when he doesn't have his face in the hairy tush of a 350-lb. man? I didn't hear his acceptance speech because I was sleeping - I'm on the 24 hour a day work schedule again--but I saw the pictures. Yum.

Here's why I am not doing a rundown of looks: because it would be focusing on the lives of extremely self-centered people who need alot of attention or else they would not be in that profession. I love their work, I admire their work, the world is a better place for their work. But to dissect the way they look? Boring, and a waste of both of our time. Did you like the way Angelina looked? Hooray! Or, sorry to hear it. Now go read a book, have a conversation or do something to reduce carbon emissions.

That's just the way I feel about it. I'm sure it's not a popular opinion. As you know I have a three year old son, whose birthday is this week, and at this age the toys are getting less neutral. Girls get toys to sit with and collect, have conversations and pretend with. Boys get toys that they can run with, jump with, play with, build--it's incredible how much more active they are encouraged to be. I want makeup to be part of our lives, not our whole lives. I do business the way I do because I want to help women streamline and not think about their beauty all the time, help them not waste time and help them stop wasting money. That drawer filled with old makeup is not going to make anyone look like Angelina. I wish I could contribute more to helping women become more authentically themselves.

This is the best way I have figured out so far.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

kim | 14 January, 2007 20:27

Let's take a moment to realize how far human beings have come in the last 50 years. Let's take a moment to be thankful that we live in America, in a land where citizens theoretically have the right to change the landscape of the law and theoretically their own lives. Let's be grateful for the people who have fought and died for our civil liberties. Take the time today to be kind to those around you, and to stand up for someone who needs an advocate.

Besame Lipgloss

kim | 09 January, 2007 05:11

I have this image of Jessica Alba in that gold dress last year at the Golden Globes (wasn't it?) not walking down the red carpet, but nervously talking to her publicist and applying lip gloss and then smushing it in so repetitively that I thought she almost defeated the purpose. Being a makeup artist, I scrutinize people's makeup-applying behavior. Don't believe me if I say I'm not checking you out. It's not that I'm judging you - it's just that everybody has a True North and I see what that is and my mind psuhes your face in that direction. So when she smushed her lips together like that, I yelled at the television, "Stop smushing!" I hate when people smush; they ruin the sparkle in the gloss.

And yet, she was the most beautiful girl at the ball last year.

But some people dislike the super-glossiness of the gloss (don't get me started) and some people don't like the texture. For those who feel those ways about gloss, there is Besame's new Lip Glaze. This has a firm, if you will, texture. One that doesn't move around that much - it's not as tacky (in texture) as Chanel's Glossimers (nothing tacky about them although they have a somewhat limited color collection because everything is so highly pearlized) with a greater color range and a host of scents (plus for some minus for others). I tried on one color and thought, if Jessica Alba were to try this one on, she would not have had to work so hard that night on the red carpet.

These are the things I think of. Seriously.

Writing More and Avon + Mrs. McDreamy

kim | 08 January, 2007 09:36

Oh, how I wish I could write here more. To be honest, I am secretly spending lots and lots of time on my novel, which should be ready a day or two before the ice age commences, i.e. in two years.

In kid news, someone's three year old birthday is coming up and he asked me the other day if it was strange to be a girl. It may be difficult to get him out of the house on time, but it's only because he is a genius.

In makeup news, Jillian Fink Dempsey has partnered with Avon and you can purchase the co-op products at www.avon.com. If I really wanted a certain kind of career in makeup, it would be that of Gucci Westman, Pat McGrath, Mark Cariscaillioouiiknoooo or however you pronouce his name, Scott Andrew, Kevyn Aucoin, Billy B., or Jillian Fink Dempsey. She is the arbiter of cool beauty in the most water's edge, dl way. Delux Beauty is one of the greatest lines out there and let's face it, she's married to McDreamy. Whom I prefer to McSteamy. The brochure is a little lippy - heavy on the lipglosses and lipsticks, but so is Delux. Avon is such an amazing brand because it helps women help women and keeps the products affordable, so it's good for everyone. I think you'll love her new collection. Let me know.

Let's Do A Little Organizing

kim | 02 January, 2007 21:58

For the holidays, my mother in law got me a book I requested: Real Simple's The Organized Home. That's what I'm not particularly good at.

Why I am particularly amazing at is organizing people's makeup bags. I have no idea why, but I am. I'm also amazing at creating a routine for you that will take you about 7 minutes and you will look like you, only 2.0. So email me if you need a makeup bag purge for the new year. You can see how I can help you here. Thanks to Shana for pointing out the confusion!

Shiny Mineral Makeup - Overstating the Case?

kim | 02 January, 2007 20:51

Evelyn asked if mineral makeup was too shiny looking for wedding makeup and I wonder if I oversold my case about it being shiny? I would say no, it is not too shiny for daytime. However, if you are getting married at night and you are going to have bright flashes on your professional camera, I would suggest for your nose and chin getting a little bit of translucent powder - maybe Giorgio Armani in # 2 Pressed Powder--not the foundation powder--and then just dab a bit on. What are you supposed to touch up with with Mineral Makeup, anyway? More Mineral Makeup? I don't think so.  (More)

New Year's Resolutions

kim | 31 December, 2006 21:08

Hope you can forgive the absence. Travelling, illness. Bummer. Here they are:

1. Going to bed every night after reading or meditating, not after watching tv.

2. Washing my face every night. I know! Can you believe how disgusting I am?

3. Not being so overwhelmed.

4. I'm washing all of my brushes right after this post.

5. No refined carbs, no fried things, less cheese. Much. Less. Cheese.

6. No more pink sparkle lip gloss, except for that new Revlon thing that you shake over your lips like sugar. It's probably not that expensive. Don't tell Mike, he'll think I'm being frivolous. But how can you not buy that, seriously?

Happy New Year! Thank you for all of your support this year!

CEW's Cancer and Careers Holiday Auction

kim | 07 December, 2006 02:35

OMG, you have to rush to this site and purchase a service or product for yourself. The Cosmetic Executive Women's charity, Cancer and Careers, is an organization that helps working women deal with canceer. This auction not only helps them but helps you as well. A Marc Jacobs bag for $600? A YSL bag for $650?A week long internship at Oprah for $650? Haircuts, makeovers, internships at Dior, Spa days, all of these can be yours.You worked hard this year! If not for someone else, then for you. Some of these gifts (like the internship or the lunch with Stacey London) are totally priceless!

Heard at a Shoot Today

kim | 07 December, 2006 02:30

Photographer: Okay, now look into the computer like you just won the jackpot.

Model: Should I take out my tongue ring?

Please Buy Me This for Chanukah, Christmas and, if you want, Kwanzaa

kim | 06 December, 2006 08:25

We over here at I Am Pretty--and by we I mean me--prefer goods that give back. Peacekeeper Cosmetics just announced their Care Package gift set with lipstick, nail polish, lipgloss and conflict resolution card, $39.00. All the proceeds go to Unifem.

I will look good in either the darker deep-red Visionary package or the lighter, peachy-pink Diplomat package. You can forward them to me or to anyone else whom you love. You can feel doubly proud of helping a sister out and also, really helping a sister out.

Peace out, sister.

New York, At Night

kim | 04 December, 2006 22:40

Did I tell you the husband was away for four months? No, I didn't. Not while it was happening. I'm still experiencing shockwaves. Now he's home and I'm beside myself, doing the happy dance for everyone in my family. Right before he left, I decided to make one night a week Mom's Night Out, but that was soon a complete joke. Every night I would close the door and be locked inside. I was basically a shut-in.

But tonight I went out! I was invited to a holiday party for a magaine that I write for and also I went to a party where ONLY kids who grew up in New York can get in. If they know the password. Just being outside at night is such a different sensation for me, I used to love going out and now (especially with the people I was meeting) I don't really care less but it was great.

I won 10 free movie tickets at the raffle in which I didn't even know I was entered! And then I saw my old friends! Even ones I hadn't seen and ones that I had known ever since I was 7, which was a long time ago. There was a core of sweet, gorgeous guys who I never really mingled with who were there, too--it's always comforting when they are around for some reason, even if you don't talk to them. Although, I think there is a small possiblity that one of the friends slipped a little tab of ecstacy on their tongue. There was much hugging.

I knew I had to look good for the office party and as I was working out today (please, congratulate me!) I saw Nelly Furtado's video, "Say It Right" (and when I say saw I mean I didn't have my headphones on, so I just saw it. Was that Timbaland behind her? And I thought, that's my look for tonight. So I did that, but with sparkly eyeshadow, because that's what I wear, yo.

Except, what you can't see here is that the liner is perfect, and slightly catted out at the ends. And that she's a millionaire.

Makeup for the Apocalypse

kim | 08 November, 2006 21:14

Last night I cleaned out my professional makeup closet, then my personal makeup closet. Here's what I've gleaned from throwing away a garbage bag almost filled with crap from my own closet:

1. If it's discontinued lipstick (like, for two years) chuck it. If you need the color and you can't find it, go to Giella, 3 Custom Color or Perscriptives.

2. There will never be a time when I wear any version of green liner: be it pastel mint, shimmery grass or hunter. That's just me, I don't wear it, will never wear it. I need to chuck it or put it in my kit. If you are not a professional makeup artist that means it goes in the garbage or gets sharpened (cleaned) and then to your daughter for dress-up. Or son as the case may be, it's none of my business. The one thing this industry has not seen is an incredibly foxy, talented straight makeup artist. That guy, whenever he comes along is going to make a killing.

3. Separated foundations go out. I don't care how expensive they were.

4. If you want to keep something like concealer for "back up," get a new one, don't keep the decrepit old one.

5. Clean out your sharpeners or else you'll get black dots everywhere.

6. There is no need to throw out your sparkles. They don't go bad.

7. When the apocalypse comes, you will not need any of that stuff, so throw it out, already.

And I did.

Call For Submissions - Thismom.com

kim | 08 November, 2006 10:13

My friend Kyra over at thismom.com is putting together an anthology of stories from parents of children with Spectrum Disorders such as autism, aspberger's syndrome and PD-NOS, lovely, life-altering little things like that. If you would like to be considerered, go over here to Gravity Pulls You In and send it in, she will review it and let you know!

New Eyeshadow

kim | 07 November, 2006 09:54

As I mentioned, I had a lipgloss that I wanted to exchange from Sephora that my mother in law had gotten for me for my birthday. I know myself and I know that I need sparkles. And I also know that given the opportunity, I will trade up in a makeup store. So I knew that I was going to get a sparkly eyeshadow. I have been
eyeballing "Dirt Bag" (why, why with the rude names?)

by Too Faced (brown with gold sparkles) for years but for some reason have never bought it. While hunting, I came acrross this:

The wet/dry eyeshadow by Vincent Longo in Concerto, black with silver sparkles. I will tell you why I love this. Yes, doi, it has sparkles, but it also is super soft and it is supremely blendable. But best of all, the sparkles really come through which is not common in a dark, sparkly shadow. I guess you can wear it wet, hence the name, but I haven't done that yet. I think I will be wearing this all winter long, but not with the Midnight Cowboy Rides again, or maybe I will. Who knows? I'm such a disco queen.

Postcard from Little F**ckerville

kim | 07 November, 2006 09:50

A postage-stamp sized place underneath the kid's table where he scribbles on the wall. Hi! Just saying hi from there.

I'm Dreaming of Eva

kim | 06 November, 2006 00:28

Blissful trip to the Eva Scrivo Salon. All brown again and relaxed. That Eva knows how to take care of people. I have pictures that I will post later.

Color Fever Gloss

kim | 03 November, 2006 11:06

What do I hate more than seeing a woman who has pressed her lips together, inserted a lipgloss brush (or a lip stick, for that matter) in there and then swiped it across? Well, alot of things, but in makeup mistake land, this is one of the laziest manuevers there is. Now you have a resource against such things: Color Fever Gloss by Lancome.

The applicator sponge is tilted, so that you can get a big swath of color on your lips, but it's also pointed so that you can get it in the tips of your upper lips! Also, it's moisturizing, feels great and is not sticky at all! Some of you think about that from time to time. The micro sparkle captures the light and makes your mouth like it's on ecstacy in the nearest disco! It comes in 15 colors, but they are selling like hot cakes, so they might go quickly! $22, Saks Fifth Avenue. (and every other place on the planet.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Spa Date

kim | 02 November, 2006 03:19

Aah. Spa. After three years of no breaks and somebody being on an extended business trip and somebody else up for the past month at night with illnesses and frequent ear infections, what could be more appealing?

So, first belated lunch with the girls. Yum. One even got me some pink roses, which I had gotten for myself on Sunday, so now I have 36 pink roses on my table. Nice.

So me and another friend arrive at the spa. I got it as a recommendation from another friend who I really like, but I'm a spa snob. When I walked in, I was not impressed. "Don't be such a bitch," I told myself.

We changed in the changing room, consoled ourselves with the fact that the robes were nice, and waited.

I got a water service before I got my massage. There I was, changing in my disposable panties, confronting the fact that someone other than my husband was going to have to witness the pendulousness of my post-baby body when the phone rang: "Hi, can you come over and do the eyebrows of this really important person even though you don't have your kit, will have to cut your spa day short and not really turn a profit because you have to buy your whole kit? But she's really important and this could lead to great things. Or not. Whatever, it's your choice."

So there I am, naked, "relaxing" in the hydrotub weighing my options. And it occurs to me: if I'm going to be a freelance makeup artist and a writer and a parent, then I am never really, truly going to rest and I am going to be interupted all the time. It was then I fully grasped the concept of groundlessness that I have been trying to understand by listening to Pema Chodron for so long. In that moment, I did not fully surrender my body to the experience but I accepted the fact that resting once in three years is not acceptable. Plus, I had had enough of the tub after 10 minutes. Who wants to sit in a tub with jets propelling all over your body for 25 minutes? Not me. I mean unless it's the 70's and there's a bald fat cliche with gold chains sitting next to me with a glass of Boone's Strawberry Farm in one hand and my boob in the other. But I digress.

The point is that the spa didn't take me away enough to relax. I gave the poor pedi girl 12 minutes to do my feet because I had to make it to my client. I am highly distractable because of my life and I need a spa to fully capture my attention, to take me away from a brow client. To serve myself before I serve others. So next time? Great Jones Spa, here I come.

My Birthday

kim | 01 November, 2006 08:17

It was my birthday the other day, but nobody noticed because I was taking care of my sick child. So today I'm celebrating! Lunch with the girls! Spa extravaganza! Perhaps a bit of shopping!

I am now teetering on a certain age. I took it as an opportunity re-evaluate my style and I came up with this conclusion: I'm too old for motorcycle boots. I am not too old, however, for sparkles. And after an almost year-long hiatus from sparkles, they have re-entered my life. My mother in law sent me, at my request, the following:

Urban Decay Eyeshadow in Midnight Cowboy Rides Again

Which has double the sparkle as Midnight Cowboy and Delux Beauty Lip Gloss, which I have never tried (if you can believe it) in Hank

which looks kinda spring-y in this picture but it's so foxy that I can't stop putting it on. And in this new age that I am experiencing, I figure, it's my face, my rules and I'll just put a little extra eyeshadow on it and call it fall.

Check Out My New Site and Happy Halloween!

kim | 30 October, 2006 22:14

Don't worry, I'm not leaving this one. I'm just adding a new one. It's all about natural stuff. That and a few of my opinions. www.prettybynature.com

And as for you. If you are going as you, just a little bit sluttier this Halloween, make sure that your liquid liner is on straight, that you use black, not brown and that you splurge for the eyelash glue because even though the fake eyelashes say "self adhesive" they will sproing out at one end when you are wasted in the middle of the evening. These are the tips I gave the girl in the aisle (Marilyn Monroe costume, a stretch) of Duane's the other night. She said thank you. After she turned to go.

You're welcome.

I Wish I Had Pictures

kim | 29 October, 2006 21:43

Saturday I did a private client for Halloween that I did last year, too. This time I did her boyfriend as well and they looked unbelieable--a handsome devil and a slutty angel--and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. Sometimes? I wish it was Halloween every week. Or maybe I should go into special effects.

Tip: if you are using face paint and are going as a character that has one color around your entire face and ears, don't forget inside the ears, behind the ears and the lower hair line. Like those pictures of Lindsay Lohan and J.Lo where the forgot their self-tanner. Like that.

Bridal Secret

kim | 19 October, 2006 22:54

This weekend starts with tv, goes into a private client in the afternoon and then crescendoes into a bride on Saturday. I have not seen private client and I know tv is going to be super fun, but bride is going to be really fun.

I met said bride the other day and we picked up some touch up lipstick together. I don't do this for everyone, so don't get too excited. The combination we came up with was spectacular and I'm going to share it with you: All by MAC: Beurre lip pencil, Hug Me Lipstick and Flower Nectar (mmm hmm) Lustreglass. You have never seen a more delicious mouth.

The Right to Bear Veils

kim | 19 October, 2006 07:43

Do I approve of veils, burkhas and chardors? It's really none of my business. It's a personal, regligious matter that should be up to each woman who wants to wear one to decide. That's what our law and constitution says. This makes me sick.

The Right to Bear Veils

kim | 19 October, 2006 07:43

Do I approve of veils, burkhas and chardors? It's really none of my business. It's a personal, regligious matter that should be up to each woman who wants to wear one to decide. That's what our law and constitution says. This makes me sick.

Always on Duty

kim | 18 October, 2006 07:19

Why can I respond to my Saturday bride's email at 7:15? Because I've already been up since 4:30 with the kid and now he's exhausted so we were watching Care Bears on Youtube.com. They have everything there. And I'm so glamorous!

The Spirit and the Letter of the Law

kim | 17 October, 2006 05:36

Yesterday I went to the park with a friend I have not seen in a long time along with her beautiful daughter. Walking up the boulevard, I saw a woman whose makeup I've done before. She is mean. Like, unncessarily so. Like mention her name at another company and people roll their eyes. Like make everybody who she comes into contact with miserable. And so not powerful, either. But since I am committed this year not to indulge in the LaShon Hara. So you know what I did?

I eyed her like a rattlesnake, taking in her every move, and my friend watched me watch her. I noticed she was wearing full makeup or else her cheeks would be entirely red, I waited to see if she would recognize me and I watched her watch herself in the store windows. And then I rolled eyes, snorfled arrogantlly and my friend asked if I knew her. I said, pause, pause, yes, but I'm not induldging the LaShon Hara and I locked my lips and threw away the key.

Later, oddly, I saw a man from the same program who is one of the nicest guys in his business with his child and wife. I went on about how nice he was. And on.

So maybe in the letter of the law, but certainly not in the spirit of the law. I think I need to gossip so much because it makes me feel better. But why? At someone else's expense? Other people never deserve to have their character assasinated, and it really makes the gossiper weak. So, what do you do that is fun and feels good but is really bad for you and the other people on the planet? What if you refrained from it for just one day?

For this, I offer for your consideration, Mrs. Meyers Hand Wash and Kiehl's Ultimate Strength Hand Salve.


kim | 14 October, 2006 08:58


Cover Girl wants you to trade in your old, clumpy mascara for a fabulous new Cover Girl, non-clumping one. I have not tried it yet, but I am a free-mascara-whore, and I don't care who knows it. But that's what I heard about you, too, so we're all in good company, right?

On October 18 they will be at CVS at 272 8th Avenue from 10-1 and on October 21 they will be at KMart at 770 Broadway from 3-6.

Nice! Let me know how you like it!

Brown and Back in the Saddle again

kim | 14 October, 2006 08:39

When I tell you that I got four hours sleep in two days, do you want to hear it? I guess everyone is so busy these days. The last two days were a doozy. However, I was completely and thoroughly excited to go get my four inches of gray taken care of at the Eva Scrivo Salon. I am someone who hates to pay for any kind of beauty products, but when I go there, I want to buy all the Bumble and Bumble hair stuff, the Mason Pearson brushes, the T. LeClerc sparkly lip glosses and all the head accessories. She has these new leather hairbands in pony with animal prints, new denim riding hats and those headbands which cover your ears but don't muss your hairdo. I didn't buy anything, but I did leave with the richest looking brown hair known to woman.

White Hot Avon

kim | 12 October, 2006 21:07

I just got a press release that Jillian Fink Dempsey is now going to be the color director of Avon. Have you ever seen that Delux Beauty line? Those amazing lip glosses? The hottest of the hot is now going to be more affordable than ever. And plus, she's married to McDreamy...She is an incredible makeup artist and she knows how to make totally hip completely wearable...this is one to watch!

White Hot Avon

kim | 12 October, 2006 21:07

I just got a press release that Jillian Fink Dempsey is now going to be the color director of Avon. Have you ever seen that Delux Beauty line? Those amazing lip glosses? The hottest of the hot is now going to be more affordable than ever. And plus, she's married to McDreamy...She is an incredible makeup artist and she knows how to make totally hip completely wearable...this is one to watch!

Fall Looks, 2006

kim | 12 October, 2006 03:46


Itís been so long! I canít apologize enough. I could tell you why or I could just tell you that Iíve been functioning with one hand tied behind my back. That said, who really cares? Letís get down to the looks:

Neutral Look:
Hereís this new thing Iíve been doing: I take The Estee Lauder All Over Shimmer Powder (from their upcoming Holiday Collection in Platinum/Gold) and (after my concealer, ahem) dust it over my eyes and cheeks. This gives me a base illumination and makes my other makeup more sheer. I would have never done this, but I love this product, and I do it now. You will find this coming up in their Holiday collection. But if you canít wait, try Bobbi Brownís Shimmer Brick Compact in Gold ($38).

On the Gloss.com website, it specifies that youíre only allowed to order 4, max. Oy. Are you people that crazy?

I love the Estee Lauder Pure Color eye shadow in Ginger Drop ($17.50) paired with Narsí India Song eye shadow duo ($31). The ginger drop is a very warm neutral that works well with many different skin typesóI can attest to that after using it in some fashion shows as well as private clientsóas a base color. For the crease, use the brown from India Song or on the entire lid if you want a smokier look. As for the matte banana color? You can either put it down on the lid first and it will make the Ginger Drop sheerer and lighter, or you can just use it as a duo. But it might end up just being one of those colors you donít use that much. Or maybe you want to drop the Ginger Drop? Itís up to you. Put it this way, with three colors, you have lots of choices.

For the cheeks you can use one of two things: Serrato by Nars ($25), a golden-bronzey color that really skates blush and bronzer, and you can pair that with a dusting of Bobbi Brownís Apricot on the apple of your cheek ($20).

On the lips, Iím loving the Tom Ford (for Estee Lauder) Amber Spice ($35), from the Amber Nude Collection.

Unfortunately it will only be around until December. Estee Lauder lipsticks smell so great, though, the color and the fragrance and the packaging make it a very satisfying experience. And Iím using Elaborate lipglass by MAC ($14) over that.

This neutral look is such a crowd pleaser. I have never gotten so many happy faces looking back at themselves in mirrors when Iíve been done.

Red Mouth:
You know what? A satin red mouth looks great on movie stars, but it doesnít always look that great on everyone, all the time. The benefit to the focus being on the mouth is: you donít have to fuss with your eyes. (For better or worse: nightmare client scenario post forthcoming!) But itís easier to keep it sheer. So for a sheerer look I would recommend all of Bobbi Brownís new Sparkles and Rubies Collection. Holy moly, itís gorgeous. And selling like hot cakes.

If you are broke, or even if you are not, I love the Tropez red lip glosses. They are, like, $1.99 and they pool into an embossed rose at the bottom of the jar. Again, a satisfying packaging experience and the lip glosses are great: they are more pigmented than a gloss but not quite a lipstick and because they are in a pot, using them with your finger gives a thinner application. I love Cherry Blossom and Black Orchid and you can get them at Walgreens, so pretty.

If you must have a red lip this season, and some of us must, pick from one of five perfect reds from Besame ($18). They are in a semi-matte satin. The texture can only be described as weightless gravitas. If you want the full range for yourself, simply pick up their five-pack ($75).

The double-sided lip pencil is perfect for all of these colors, and perfect to have just in case ($24).

The cheeks you must wear with this is Oasis, by Nars ($25). Once you start with this, you will never want to put it down. It will last all winter into spring. Itís the perfect pinky-brown blush because the gold shimmer in it lays it down perfectly. It never streaks or looks inky/blotchy, which can happen to that genre of blushes.

Rock and Roll Eye:
Are you going to do this eye? Blackety, blackety black black black? Okay. If you do, line your eye with Bad Gal eyeliner by Benefit ($18) as far up as you want.

Now, this goes totally against the trend, but if youíre sitting there with black eyeliner all over your eye, why not add some sparkle? I, personally, have a tough time staying my hand when it comes to sparkle. So, Nars Night Breed ($21). An oldie but a great-ie.

Do a little Oasis on the cheeks and then for the finale? Viva Glam V lipglass ($14). Why not do something good when youíre being so bad? Rrowrrrr.

Stay Tuned for Fall Looks!

kim | 26 September, 2006 14:11

You have been incredibly patient! Tonight I will reveal my fall looks.

Happy New Year! And comments policy...

kim | 26 September, 2006 13:00

Happy New Year to my Jewish friends! You know what that means? Clean slate! So I would officially like to apologize to those I have offended. If you want to take anything off line with me and email me. To de-escalate aggression in the world, it starts with the individual, so I try to have as little drama as possible in my life and if I do, then I try to clear it up.

That includes being stepped on as well. I try to work it out with the person as much as they are receptive but if not, I move on. Therefore, if you have to couch your comments with caveats that you are not being nasty, then you are. So I will delete your comment. That's what I do. Don't keep coming back to check if your rude comment is there. If you have suggestions for my work, please send them to me, but Jewish tradition prohibits public humiliation. So don't try it here.

Advertising and Editorial Content

kim | 20 September, 2006 22:34

This may shock you but sometimes advertisers can skew the editorial direction of a magazine or...who knows what all else? Like, for example, if you were to have a show, maybe a reality show, and you created a challenge for the contestants so that the garments themselves would be in the most basic, background colors and then you highlighted a segment with a person who represents a huge advertiser of that show as filling in the color for those garments, adding what might be the finishing touch. Or maybe even the garments themselves would be the background to the looks themselves? Like, something that would tie in perfectly to the show (since it was designed to highlight these last 20 minutes) and something that might inspire women to purchase the products that the artist was suggesting or the look he was creating. Is that entertainment? Or is that really, really reality? You know, fo' real.

The Bridesmaids Wore Ink

kim | 18 September, 2006 08:12

This past weekend we went to my sister-in-law's wedding. While I don't know her very well, she seems like an incredibly poised person. I offered to do her makeup but she politely turned me down. I think she thinks this is a hobby for me? Not sure. I keep saying that I will never do anyone's makeup again and this time Providence intervened. Thank you, Providence. In any case, it was a beautiful wedding. All the kids were young: the bride was young, the groom was young, the wedding party was young. Hence the tolerance, nay, the flaunting of the ink. These dresses were lovey and I don't know if the dresses were chosen to highlight the ink or if it's just no longer a consideration to cover it up for the young 'uns. It was a lovely time. The kid was a star and I got to spend a few minutes in peace with my man. Heaven. On a stick.

Working My Own Shows

kim | 12 September, 2006 22:10

I have not had time to update because I've been working a few shows of my own. They are not in the tents - the tents don't pay unless you're one of the big ones, and even then...I won't go into the whole story, maybe another time. In the meanwhile, please be advised that I am interpreting the rock n' roll eye, the big red lip and the warm nude face to a more wearable effect. And to much applause, I might add. I will fill you in tomorrow!

2007 Shows

kim | 11 September, 2006 04:50

I want to tell you about fall makeup shopping but I'm going to do a show today and I don't have time. It's nothing big, just a showroom show, but it's going to be fun and my specialty: runway to realway.

So in the meanwhile, please check out Beauty Addict and Coutourture and see the most amazing pictures and videos. It's rumored that Julie snagged an interview with Anna Wintour!

In other, more real news. Today is the fifth anniversary of the worst terrorist attack in America's history. These are unstable times. I believe, as a general rule, that love and understanding heals, not furthering and fostering violence. Ghandi said that if everyone believed in "an eye for an eye" the whole world would be blind. Please look at the Forgiveness Project, it's amazing. Please pray for the families who lost loved ones and pray for peace and coexistance. May no other child die in the name of God, ever again. Or their parents or any of their family for that matter.

This Here's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout

kim | 08 September, 2006 08:11

Nail polish with the toxic pthalates taken out. I might just get a manicure yet. Congratulations, big business!

Congratulations to Noah

kim | 06 September, 2006 23:51

Who did all the photography on this site, such a long time ago. A long, long time ago. I just haven't had time to update it and haven't met the right photographer. Now he is waaay to famous for me, I'm sure. Check this out. He's very famous.

Project Runway - Getting Vincent Off

kim | 06 September, 2006 22:21

Why did he continue to employ that phrase? Do you know what it means? To ejaculate. It's not even a concealed meaning. It's as obtuse as "I creamed my jeans" and equally from the seventies. So goodbye, Vincent. I admire your pluck but I will not miss you and your grimace and your over-exposed chest hair and your teacher's pet immunity. I particularly hate a boy who has the teacher's eye for completely obscured reasons. But I mostly hate it when women teachers favor men obviously and unfairly. You could see this tonight when Heide was talking in her soft baby voice, aufing a pregnant woman and also her pet. Over Alison? I'm still mad.

Speaking of Laura, have you ever been pregnant? It's exhausting. I was sick for five months and I couldn't stop crying/laughing/eating like a pig. But Laura is engaged in a national competition and on television and is holding her own during that whole thing. They have either edited out all of her farts or she is officially the most elegant pregnant woman I have ever seen. And through jet lag? I mean, I can't.

Jefferey's gown. It was great, but why didn't anyone say "Alexander McQueen"? Has that not been done before, just in red and green plaid? It was a bold choice and it really looked great but why can't we just call it a little derivative.

Kayne will be off by the next challenge. Don't you think? Only because of what Nina said, "the taste level is not there." They are over him.

And thank you to the editors for constructing the show in such a way that it was not completely apparent who the winner and loser was during the first five minutes of the show. That was beginning to shake my confidence in the show.

Finally? Catherine Malandrino. Now there's a woman. No bosom. Good. Round bottom. Yum. Perfect, minimal styling and sort of messy and imperfect. Kind of the punk of bridge wear. Non? Love her.

Please head over to Blogging Project Runway, The Manolo and The Bling Blog for far more scintillating commentary than I can muster.

Waterproof Eyeliner

kim | 06 September, 2006 05:59

Hello, Everyone! I hope you had a great weekend. I did, but had no childcare yesterday and we were in Tantrumalia, so, no post.

First, to waterproof eyeliner, I would suggest a paradigm shift: how's about switching to MAC's gel liner and using Bobbi Brown's brush? It will never have that inky-kohl-ness of a pencil but it will stay on and before it dries you can build it up or blend it in subtly. It just seems to me that Bobbi's dries up sooner even though they are probably made in the same place. The MAC pot has a more protective covering, maybe that's it. And you can use them as eyeshadows as well (I would recommend the lighter colors over the darker for this purpose and with maybe some powder shimmer over them to give them some play).

Hope that helps. I have alot of questions coming up which I will answer, but first tonight I have to discuss Project Runway. I missed it last week. But Michael Kors obviously has not read my blog because his hands and face still, after all this time, don't match. My. pet. peeve.

Sneaky Post

kim | 03 September, 2006 07:31

Okay, I have a few reader questions backed up, which I will answer, but I just want to gossip a little.

For the last ten years (August is actually my anniversay--happy makeup in tv anniversary to me!) I have shown up on time, ready to do my work. So has everyone else. I have never been on a set where the star bagged the interview. Once, on September 11th, I was on my way to do the foxy, foxy Kevin Bacon. He is so much foxier in real life, believe me. So foxy. I was in the back of the bus, alone with my kit and everyone was crowding around me. WTF? I was like. Like. Then I got off the bus and there I saw it. I went to the studio ANYWAY and awaited my work. I had no idea what was happening and I had to find my husband and make up with my mother. Kevin Bacon did not show. Completely understandable.

This past Friday I went to a small job for a fledgling internet entertainment company. Performances, interviews. You should see it. It will be very funny. They rented a room, brought their equipment, hired me, asked friends to come in as the audience and were set to interview an internet celebrity, of sorts. One that makes celebrities his business. Not only didn't he show, but he then gave the crew an ultimatum if they wanted to come to him they could but otherwise no. Actually, once, but that guy had a stroke. For real, yo. I think he dead now. I'm not extrapolating, it's strictly anecdotal.

I have never, ever seen someone not understand that time is money, that people are putting their sweat and lives into a production. That often budgets are tight, favors are garnered and we are all supposed to be on the same page. Especially from this person. But mean is as mean does and I'm frankly not surprised. But there is a saying: the bigger the star, the nicer they are. People who are on top don't have to claw their way to the top. Just saying.

Blogger Burnout

kim | 01 September, 2006 10:08

I do. I have it. I want to make this a different experience for you and for me. I'm going to take off the weekend and get refreshed. Mkay? In the meanwhile, please think of me when you are thinking of your fall makeup wardrobes. I can help you pull together an affordable look that works, that's "you" and that you know how to put on once we're done. We can do an e-makeover, or an appointment in real life.

Have a great, restful weekend. Mwah.

Eva Has New Headbands!

kim | 29 August, 2006 19:57

Everybody should be happy that I had my hair colored on Friday. Honestly, I hate sitting there. But I'm back on a single process for now and I'm really happy with it. I got a pedicure this time from Doris who not only gives a great pedicure but she gives it while you are sitting in the greatest massage chair, ever. I wish sometimes I could just curl up and live on a massage table at the Eva Scrivo salon.

She just came out with the cutest headbands for the fall. They are the absolutely softest leather you have ever felt, in fun colors but also in pony hair with lepoard and tiger prints made by local artists. And there's a new dark denim derby hat coming out for winter, lined in something warm. Cashmere? I forget. But not machine washable, I'll tell you that. I do have to stay my hand from buying everything in the place. There was a lipgloss and a Mason Pearson brush I almost bought, but I knew Mike would be like...um, another pink sparkly lip gloss? And I would have been out on my tush. Joking. But I really have to watch it with those, I'm addicted.

Just like I am to Eva. A little addicted. Girl crush. Pathetic.

Reader Question - Mineral Makeup

kim | 28 August, 2006 08:59

Dear Kim

I've recently started using the Bare Escentuals powdered mineral foundation, and like it quite a bit. However, it's definitely a different technique than liquid makeup - I thought you might have some opinions on how to make it look the best. How to handle moisturizing first, what brands you like/dislike, if you've found any tricks to make it look more natural, anything.


Well, Julia, thanks for asking. Mineral makeup is a great choice for so many women because it gives really nice coverage and the dry texture is more agreeable to many women who find liquid foundation too suffocating. Plus, it has a built-in reflectiveness so while it's a powder, it has a dewy finish. It's also quite easy, once you get the hang of it, to apply. Further it has no oils, it's free of FD&C dyes, talc or fragrances and has a natural built-in sunscreen, although I would double check each manufacturer.

As far as brands go, I really don't understand the difference in quality from an ingredients standpoint. How can Neutrogena and La Bella Donna have such different preice points? I would bet there is an actual reason. I can say that I've tried both anf they are both worthy of trying. La Bella Donna is particularly luxe. The packaging is gorgeous and the texture is amazing. I'm not a huge fan of their mascara, but you're not here for mascara, you're here for the makeup.

The application is a big deal with mineral makeup--you need broad, circular strokes and for that, each company has their own brushes, which I would invest in--this is a case where you can't have one without the other. La Bella Donna has incredibly beautiful brushes and Neutrogena has one that is part of the packaging, indicating what a big deal the brush actually is. Bare Ecsentuals has a whole video devoted to application, so intimidated are women by this process. Don't be. It should be quick--that's the whole point--and, well, round and circular. But I already said that. Your pitfalls are going to be getting too much on the brush and getting it glopped on your face unevenly. Practice will help. Just don't use so much at first. Someone told me once, it's easier to add than to take away.

As far as moisturizing, you should do that after you wash your face or bathe in the morning. Then have some coffee or breakfast and let it soak in. Your face should be prepared but pretty much dry when you start, otherwise the product will grab.

You can use loose or compact. The compact is probably easier to do, but you can control the loose better. Some companies say you can apply the compact-style with a wet sponge. I say no, that your smile lines will crack. Embarrassing.

I like La Bella Donna and Neutrogena. Bare Ecsentuals put mineral makeup on the map, so how bad could it be? And Jane Iridale has a huge variety of shades. Thanks for the question, Julia, and let me know if that helps! (More)

Project Depilate. Vincent's. Chest. Hair.

kim | 24 August, 2006 03:10

If Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and Heide Klum think that the next thing in American design is sheath dresses with flaps on the shoulders, coffee-stained colored Bill Blass collars jutting forth from the collar bone or mini-dresses with bell sleeves or apron pockets, then fine. I'm top heavy and benefit from a long line. But must we be subjected to his chest hair and his wild grimmacing to nobody at all? Nads, Vincent. Or just button the shirt. I did like the brown tuxedo shirt, though.

And who do you think is responsible for Michael Kors and his mommy ebeing so matchy matchy? Did that work for you? It was sort of the guy behind the curtain of Oz for me. A little creepy. But MK seemed to match his hands better to his face. But he needs new makeup outside. His cheek was totally different from his forehead. He needs to be airbrushed.

Laura. You could tell she was pregnant because she was glowing the last show. That's what it was. But why does she have to be skinny with small boobs and tall and pregnant? Two pregnant models on the show? Makes me feel bad about myself.

Last night's show made it clear that we are at the mercy of crazy people who want to give everyone plunging necklines. Although, when is Uli going to win for the same design she always makes? Glad it's adaptable for fatty. She'll get her turn, but I wish she would do something else. With the exception, of course, of the garbage trial. I wonder what the judges were thinking about the padding on the moms if they were so brutal about Alison's "zaftig" model.

Finally, Jeffery? Shut your cake hole already and be nice.

Isn't Robert being axed sort of beside the, yawn, point?

Visit Blogging Project Runway and the Manolo for far witter and more thorough commentary.

The Crack is Warm and Cozy

kim | 23 August, 2006 14:32

I didn't mention to you, or did I, that the last job I had, the talent was yelling about me in front of me and everyone else right before we shot how terrible the makeup looked. I have never--well, once and that person is so going to get it back, don't you worry--had someone try to humiliate me like that on set. It was so gross.

So today, when I went back into a lovely work environment with people I adored and who adored me, I was so happy! The warm embrace of friendship, cameraderie and, well, it was just plain hot in there from all the lights! Listen: if you can work with people you love, do it. I don't always get to, but I loved it today. The problem was the three hours of sleep. My head feels like it's going to split open and my eyeballs are going to pour out of molten lava. It's a three-advil day. I thought I would get used to it all over again; but, no. Still, I just love it.

FashionTribes is Live

kim | 22 August, 2006 19:19

Whoa. I can't believe what Lesley has done with Fashiontribes.com. It's beautiful! An online magazine with 6 different fashion/personality types--it's a huge undertaking and quite beautiful. My article is here, in the AfroLove section. Lesley, kudos. It's beautiful.

Fall Commerce

kim | 20 August, 2006 20:18

As you are leafing through the tonnage of the fall magazines, making your lists and getting the look just so, think about this: fashion and beauty are businesses helmed by creative and financial masterminds who have figured out how to bring out your most primal ache of desire. Mostly by putting skinny, naked, shiny people in ads, but it's perhaps a little more complicated than that. In any case, just remember the people on their yachts who own those yachts only because people have bought a million of their dresses and shoes because they are so talented at tapping your innermost desire for, well, more. So this season don't just be in fashion; have style.

Project Runway - The Sin of Error

kim | 17 August, 2006 11:08

Now I'm mad. Heidi is obviously favoring the slightly insane Vincent. Does she have a soft spot for the crazies? Alison made this one error, it would have looked good on a smaller girl. She choked, she changed her tune, it was a Bradley moment she had and she screwed it up. But Robert screwed up twice and he was let back in. I feel like there is so much misogyny on this show--"Cap'n Save a Ho" "Feminazi", mocking Laura like she quacked like a duck, the complete ignoring of the most beautiufl contestant--Alison--she is very talented yet looked over by the cameras and the judges because there is nothing dramatic about her. Alison, I am sorry. I think you are extremely talented and very overlooked. Except by me. You are as beautiful as a pin up, and since you were not used in that capacity, they ignored you. But I didn't and you will be successful beyond measure.

Last night was a low point where the women made a choice to punish a woman for making the mistake of not flattering them. Alison's styling was silly, but the embellishments on Vincent's gown were sillier. And the model couldn't walk. I just don't see it. I'm very angry. It just goes to show that we are harder on each other and we don't judge each other on equal playing fields. I haven't read any other blogs yes, but visit:

Blogging Project Runway, The Manolo, The Bling Blog and Haute Girl.
I still cannot believe that she wuz robbed. I would have made a different choice.

Correction! Eva Scrivo Hats!

kim | 16 August, 2006 08:20

Yesterday morning I had to go out to get the kid some eggs and I was so happy that I had my Eva Scrivo rain hat. No cumbersome umbrella, just me and my sweats and my hat. So I didn't need to re-blow dry my curly hair today! But you know what? I said on my fashiontribes podcast that they were machine washable, and they're not. Sorry about that. See the instructions and follow them. And make an appointment with Eva. Ever since I decided to go brunette again, I am luurving it.

Movies in Which the Makeup Application Is Forced, Delayed or Otherwise Wrong

kim | 16 August, 2006 07:30

Ask any fiction teacher or screenwriting teacher and they will tell you that mirror scenes are the mark of the amateur. When you put on your lipstick, you are not deep in thought wondering who you are going to bed--or if you are, then you are still focusing on the task at hand. The problem with makeup application in movies is that it's never done, it's always acted because you can't reallyl have an actress who doesn't have makeup on, or if an actress is playing a makeup artist, they don't really know how to do makeup so it's just some woman pretending. And all women know how to do makeup--the lack of doing is distracting. Last night I rented Shopgirl and could not watch it mostly because of its opening montage scene. The camera pans across some Nars makeup display, then Estee Lauder mixed with Armani and then back to Nars again. It's supposed to be, like, this sea of beauty products but there is no sea of beauty products except for to the untrained eye. Then Bridgette Wilson-Sampras just fluffed on fake blush with a powder brush to an extra. And another extra pretending to be her colleague put lip gloss on an overly glossed patron over and over again. I couldn't tell whether they were meant to look ridiculous in their ridiculous makeup because the scene was like a musical set in a realistic setting. It didn't work for me. Then I thought of other makeup scenes that drive me crazy:

Moonstruck: They should have had a unibrow double for Cher because when they pluck her, no skin gets pulled. Even up close. You want to know why I know this? Because it's my favorite movie of all time. Then again when she puts one quarter of her lipstick on and stares at herself when getting ready. When was the last time you lounged around in your slip listening to your Victrola, drinking red wine, trying your lipstick on the upper quarter of your lip? Just curious.

Indecent Proposal: Before she has the sex with the Robert Redford, Demi Moore does the same thing with red lipstick.

Why can't I think of any more right now? Because it's so disturbing. Do you have any that make you absolutely nuts?

I do like the Wizard of Oz makeover scene. That was always one of my favorite parts of the movie. Even as a girl...

Indecent Proposal

kim | 15 August, 2006 21:23

Can someone tell me why Demi Moore is so beautiful in this movie. Doesn't it make you want to get a tight bob? But not boobs. She's just so foxy in this movie. And Woody Harrelson looks like a timeless sexy underdog. Robert Redford? Forgive me: a little wrinkley? Sorry.

Thomas is Like the Grateful Dead - Mom Post

kim | 13 August, 2006 17:59

We all came from far and wide to take a 20 minute train ride that was all tricked out to look like Thomas. All the boys had Thomas t-shirts on, each one different than the next. Like tie-dyes. Then there are the tents of merchandise, game playing, hay bail mazes and captive baby alligators whose left claw was waved up and down by his handler relentlessly for the 15 minutes we were standing in the baby animal tent. I'm sure it was before and after as well. Hello, PETA? One could take a picture with Sir Topham Hatt, but only every half hour on the hour. He is a capitalist pig dog who needs his rest. There were carnival concessions and people spread all over the lawn eating fried potatoes, fried chicken and fried dough. Concessions selling cotton candy and popcorn were there as welll, like pushers selling bad acid for a nasty ride home filled with sugar-crash hysteria. We made it out almost safely until the kid jammed his finger in the car door and cried harder than he has ever cried before. It was a full day. We're beat.

Project Runway--It's Time

kim | 10 August, 2006 13:55

Yes, it's time for me to size them up, makeup-wise. Was last night a little boring? I mean, I loooved Michael's and I think he's talented and amazing and cute and wonderful, but do you think Kayne's was just a little brilliant in that you could see the perfect construction in the sheer black overlay? I don't know, I thought that was genius. I think Robert will get back on the horse and I identify with Bradley's procrastination due to cluelessness. He was in his own world but he was not a bad person. Okay:

I would say that Heide Klum is the most glamorous on the show, and she is the most beautiful. I love her changing all the time her outfits and her makeup. Does anyone know who is in charge of her hair and makeup? But I'm not going to say that she is the most beautiful, just the best template and the most advernterous and the most exciting to watch. But

My heart beats for Nina Garcia. When I was a kid, I would have wanted to grow up and look like her. Her hair is impeccable (is she getting a tad too blonde, though, lately) Her makeup is perfection. She is beautiful to begin with. She is just the picture of my perfection. Only once did she wear a fercockta top with awkward spangles on it. Why did I notice? Because she is always seamlessly put together. And her voice. I just love her.

Michael Kors. Self tanner must be applied on hands as well as face. Every show. The maestro of current fashion and he doesn't see that? I love him for all the reasons the Manolo loves him, too!

Guest Judge: Who cares? They rotate out so often, so, like I said.

Tim Gunn: Looks better with the dry look in his hair rather than the wet look. He needs a trim, he doesn't do funky messy that well. There is no hair dissonance that will work for him, he's sewn tight all the way up the back, and his hair should reflect that.

Angela: I think in real life her eye makeup must look good, it's just not translating on to video. The smoky thing without eyeliner, or without underneath liner looks incomplete. Also I wish she would stop using muddy green/brown. And she needs a lighter color on her lid. She is gorgeous, she's undermining herself slightly by being half-way with it.

Kayne and Michael have great looks.

Jeffery: I'm not into ink, personally although I am empathetic to its appeal.

Laura: I get it, I love it, I wish I looked like her. Do the crazy color thing, sister, with the classic lines. I'm all about that. But you just have to tone down the blush. Because deep eyes, deep lips and big red cheeks? You know?

Alison: I cannot belive a person looks like that. She is stunning. But as stunning as she is, that's how talented she is. She wuz robbed twice. She will get a win soon.

Vincent: There is nothing to say. He hides behind the snorfle and the '70's hair cut.

Who am I missing? I just had to get that off of my chest. You should check out Blogging Project Runway if you love it. Also, Susanna has an extremely funny (as usual) take on the episode.

Drug Store Beauty

kim | 08 August, 2006 16:35

I had a $5 coupon for Duane Reade which would expire tomorrow if I didn't use it, so I instead of ram my head against my writer's block for one more minute, I decided to go down and see what I could score.

You may be aware that I love the Ms. Manicure/Ms. Pedicure whole section: it's cheeeeeep and it works well for a while. Let's face it: you don't want foot implements hanging around for too long, so they are definitely worth the investment. A two-sided foot brush/scrubber was $2.39, so I had a bunch left over and what else is there to buy? Lipgloss, of course. Do you know how hard it is to find a cheap lip gloss nowadays? Here's what I learned:

The L'Oreal Hip line has a lot of colors ripped off from Nars. They are nice, but not as precise. They may be even better for women of color, although I love Black Opal (they have some amazing holiday colors coming out, I will keep you updated on that.).

Vital Radiance is actually a Revlon company. Did you know that? I didn't. Good for them. Somebody is marketing to the biggest population. Finally.

Neutrogena has a new Mineral Sheers line. It's not bad! The colors are actually very sheer and shimmery, although not too shimmery. I like Shell Number 30. They have no talc, which is great. They also have a mineral foundation that comes with its own brush, which is not too bad, either. It gives nice, sheer coverage and has a little bit of a shimmer so that you don't look too powdery, which is very Pamela Ewing, and not in a good way.

I decided on a Jordana Lip Gloss, Squeeze and Shine in 07 Sweet Touch which looks peach in the tube, like water on your lips and smells like bubble bath from when you were 7. But it was $1.99, so there you go.

On my way to check out, I overheard a mom and her daughter reading the features and benefits of the new Neutrogena Moisture Shine Lip Soother. Now, this product I like, it smells like passion fruit in a more sophisticated way, it does lock in moisture and seems to moisturize the lips. It also has menthol, which I'm not a huge fan of, but lots of people love that! So I interjected, as I often do rudely to people contemplating cosmetics, and I tried to explain to her what it was like.

"Is it like a lip plumper?"

"No, but it has the tingle. It's just a moisturizing gloss. It's nice."

"Is that good, the tingle?"

"If you like that."

"Well...um, I..."

"It's like a Newport."


I love perfect metaphors.

The end.

Comment Policy

kim | 08 August, 2006 08:05

You can disagree with me, but please do so in an intelligent and thoughtful manner. Or else I will delete your comment.

As a general rule, I would suggest to all people everywhere that if you don't like something, instead of fighting it, just move along and find something you do like. If every person de-escalates violence today, even just a tiny bit, then we will have a chance to move away, bit by bit, from the destruction we are seeing around the world.

Check this out. It just might ease your mind.

Best of All Possible Worlds, so far

kim | 08 August, 2006 05:05

I pitched a story to a magazine I write for about deoderants during the heatwave and lo and behold the New York Post did a story on anti-perspirants right in the middle of that process. Some weirdo wrote me an email about how derivative (although she did not use that word ) my blog was (I could talk to her about it, she left me both her home and cell numbers), so I'm not copying here, but I will tell you about a few nice deoderants that I've found.

Why deoderant as opposed to anti-perspirant? Well, the thing that keeps you dry is comprised of aluminum chlorohydrate and aluminum is a big suspect in Alzheimer's disease, meaning, they found extra aluminum in the brain when they did autopsies of people who have had Alzheimers. Does that mean that anti-perspirant causes Alzheimer's? I didn't say that. I keep telling you: I am a makeup artist, not a scientist. However, did you ever notice that when you eat asparagus, it is evident about 20 minutes later and there on for the rest of the day? Do you have any food sensitivities? Do you actually think that skincare works? Well, you can't have it both ways: either the things we put in and on our bodies have an effect on our personal ecosystems or they don't. And since I daily, well, maybe not daily, scrape my delicate under arm area with a razor, thus thinning the skin around the area and making it more suceptible to products I put on it, I'm not putting anything artificial on it. That's just me. Our air, for one, is so toxic that it's hard enough on our immune systems, don't add more junk on to the pile. And in such a delicate area with something that's not really natural.

So, I stink a little in the summer more than the average person. Here is a list of my all-time favorite deodorants.

Kiss My Face Liquid Rock in Lavendar: Just because I love lavendar. But this here stick does have those crystals in them so that it keeps you dry for a little extra longer.

Jason Fragrance Free Deodorant Stick: This is a stick and sometimes the wax can get a little mushy if you are a shvitzer, like me, but the average person should do well with this one. This one is for the ultra-sensitive who don't like fragrance. I know someone who uses a stick and absolutely loves it.

Weleda Rose Deodorant: This is the one I've been using for years. It's a spray, so it gives you temporary relief, but it's main ingredients are alcohol and fragrance, so it's good for de-stinkifying but not for keeping dry for a long time.

Sanoflore: Honestly, they just came out with a new deodorant and I would try it, but I haven't gotten my hands on it yet. Worth a try, though, I love their products.

Darphin: A favorite at Saks where I used to work. Everyone loved this one.

The Most Beautiful Brown You've Ever Seen

kim | 07 August, 2006 10:32

The new fall colors are here and some that really stand out are from Nars. The duo India Song has one of the most beautiful browns I have ever seen in my entire live. It's rich, it has an absence of red and it is shimmery. The matte bananna next to it, well, you can ignore it or you can use it. The great thing about Nars duos is that they are so unexpected, they make you feel like a makeup artist. Go ahead and experiment. Then Stolen Kisses lipgloss might replace my obesssion with Foul Play. There's a tiny bit more pigment and it's a perfect look for a dark eye/light lip look or even an all over neutral look or even that Bridget Bardot-ey thing what walked down the runway. Then there is Oasis blush. Are you sick of not having Orgasm durning the winter? It's really not a winter color. Angelika is one of my favorites but it's a little, er, festive? Try Oasis blush, a pinky neutral with gold flecks. That should keep you nice and flushed all winter long. Love that Nars.

No Makeup Today

kim | 02 August, 2006 14:34

Nothing really works on a day like today besides a little lipgloss. It's all about the clothes in this weather. I feel like fainting just thinking about it all.

Free Makeup and Bags

kim | 01 August, 2006 07:56

Coutourture is giving away some fantastic DuWop packages of makeup and, I don't know, some bags or something--but we all know what's important, right? So go over and enter for your free GIVEAWAY!

Tom Cruise=Ollie North?

kim | 31 July, 2006 08:41

I'm no woman-hater apologist, but I submit this for your review: War of the Worlds was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Dakota Fanning was the best thing in it. She was, like, 10 at the time. Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise both have careers to protect. This movie featured endless stress for no reason: the aliens were attacking for what? There was virtually no way we could defend ourselves? Then they died because amoebic manifest destiny? I don't get it. So. What if you created a cloud of smoke around it? What if Steven and Tom took a bet and Tom lost and said, "okay, Steven, I'll play crazy for a year. But I get points on the back end from your next 10 movies." Maybe he's sold himself so he doesn't have to work so hard anymore and be a father to his children?

Because that's the only way, the only way I can wrap my mind around that being sooo bad and everybody behaving sooo stupidly around that movie.


kim | 30 July, 2006 20:06

I took the kid to see Mike last week in Minnesota where he's been on assignment. There I learned a few things:

Dinosaurs are everywhere. If you're in the Mall of America, visit the Dinosaur Walk Museum. So cute.

Flights from Cincinnati to Minnesota are often booked to the gills with people going to the Mall of America, although I'm not sure why. This is the hub of all chain stores in America. Doesn't every corner have a GAP? I didn't see anything spectacular. Except Cinnabon.

There is a Pepsi balloon hanging from the ceiling of the center of the Mall of America. Like a flag. In Pepsi we trust. I felt a little ashamed.

Americans eat badly and we are fat.

I think people at the food court suck on bongs in the back. They don't hear so well. Perhaps it's the french fry grease between their synapses?

Our makeup is not so good, either.

The hair, on the other hand, is a little better.

The Goth is alive and well and walking, pierced and with jet black hair, all around the mall in very high clod-like boots.

I am now grateful every day that I am not doing makeup for a photo studio in a mall that offers $7 portraits. Although, I'm sure one could learn alot from that line of work.

Minnesota is experiencing a draught.

Perhaps it is because they have no public transport?

Politics abound. Even cab drivers have drama.

Everybody in Minnesota is so nice and helpful that if you don't let them help you, they get mad.

They are actually incredibly helpful and sweet.

I'm not sure how the New York sense of humor plays out there. I'm regional, I've discovered.

Mike and I and the kid are going to take a road trip next year.

I am an intrepid traveller.

Makeover: I'm Brunette Again (Girl Crush)

kim | 24 July, 2006 07:54

Friday I went to Eva Scrivo's Salon. Eva and I have known each other peripherally for years and it was recently when I was on her show that I decided to go to her salon and get my hair colored. It is gray, or grey, as I have mentioned; and the low lights have turned into brassy highlights. Basically I was starting to look like someone to whom I would pose the question, "excuse me ma'am? Do your fricking hair edition. It's called a box. You can get it at the drugstore." Instead, I chose Eva.

I worked that day on a little job, but I shlep everything I own with me at all times because you never know when you are going to need silver eyelashes or blue powder. Turns out I needed neither but there I was, in the rain, around taxi-off-duty time (please don't tell me it doesn't exist!) breaking my back, having stayed too long at the job, to get a cab. I was stressed and my back hurt and I didn't want to be late.

I thought I would be there forever. I hate getting my hair done. It's such a waste of time. However, the moment I walked in, it was like stepping into a new zone. It's a big, beautiful space. Everyone greets you with a calm smile. The space is sunny and elegant and peaceful, well thought out and understatedly glamorous. Except Eva, who is fairly glamorous, not in a garish way, in a well-thought out and slightly coutoure-ish way.

We caught up (she was just away) and then we set about coloring my hair. Long story short, she did some corrective work and I'm a brunette again. Not a black-headed brunette, but just a brunette. It's elegant, chic and I'm not trying to be something I'm not. But this time, for the first time, I really didn't want to leave. I wanted to get a pedicure. I wanted to get a facial. See, it's really like a spa in there. They have these chairs downstairs that give you a massage while you're getting a pedicure. It's so peaceful and glamorous at the same time that I wanted to stay more. But I had to go home and do Shabbat with Grammy and the kid. So I sadly left this glorious place, but I can assure you that I will be back in five weeks. I even snagged a rain hat which I needed for a long time. But her sun hats are incredibly cute as well.

Needless to say, with her talent, her vision and her salon, I now have a girl crush on Eva. Plus, she shared her chicken and avocado sandwich with Mango Mustard with me, so she fed me and made me look good and that's a direct link to my heart.

FahionTribes Podcast

kim | 21 July, 2006 12:19

Did you hear my podcast about waterproof beauty? Here it is!

Me, the Makeover

kim | 20 July, 2006 23:22

I'm giving myself a makeover. I have a friend who calls it a relaunch. I'm relaunching. Kim 8.0. Always difficult but exciting. Wish me luck.

Project Runway--Bitchy Editing

kim | 20 July, 2006 05:26

Uh oh. It took three seasons, but Project Runway is beginning to curdle. I only have two seconds, so, again, here are bullet points:

How is Angela a Feminazi? Does she hate men? Isn't that like a garbage pail phrase just to say something mean about women? Schemer, okay? Insecure? Yes. Bossy like a four year old on the playground? I will give you that. But hating men and spouting feminist rhetoric in an exaggerated way? No. Dummy.

Angela started off scheming, which was too bad because she just didn't trust herself and tried to steal and plagiarize from the outset; but Vincent did not let her even touch the gown. Even look at it. Am I wrong? What could she do?

The challenge should really be called "Master and Servant" because one person is the boss and one person is the pushed around and needs to keep smiling in order to not get demonized. Katherine stabbed Malan in the back beautifully and with some nice panache.

Malan. Why did they have to cut so deep? I know he said all those things about his mother rejecting his drawings, his having no friends, his life being so hard, but I'm sure people also poop and menstruate on the show. It was just too humilating. They should have somehow saved him from himself. The whole thing was without dignity. I guess if they didn't have the remark about his mom? Just so sad. I wish I could hug him.

I was shocked to my core when all of the judged loved Vincent's gown and said not one thing about it looking like it had travelled through a printing press. That thing was totally wrinkled and, as such, unfinished. Why didn't one jusge mention that, when they are always sticklers for finishing garments. If they are going to just now start changing the rules from contestant to contestant for story purposes, I'm outta there!

The gown I loved: Michael and Keiths. Can I get some small perky boobie to fit descreetly in a gown like that and stay up on their own? There was alot of diaphanous fabric going on. I liked the garments overall, they were more sophisitcated than ever before, I think.

My last thought, and I've been thinking this for a while, is that I think that Nina Garcia is one of the best put-together women I've ever seen. She knows her face, has a-mazing hair, her makeup is always impeccable and barring last night's weird shirt in which she dressed, she always looks like a dream for some Michael Kors or Ralph Lauren style thing. I love her. She is my new aspirational icon.

Here is the link to Blogging Project Runway and to The Manolo, whenever he updates, you can read his delightful summary.

Excuse Me, Sir? Post Office Edition

kim | 19 July, 2006 12:49

Is it impolite to gather one's hair in a ponytail while on line at the post office? It is fidgeting with one's self and perhaps it's not the most elegant thing to do in public. I do apologize if I offended anyone. However, I don't think clipping one's nails is a justified counter-attack. If so, then the man facing me, standing in line a few people back in the serpentine cue, bested me with his public personal grooming. Was he trying to teach me a lesson or was he clueless? His blue broadcloth Oxford shirt was perfectly pressed as were his navy chinos, so one would think--I thought and judged--that his manner of dress indicated a level of conservative decorum that would have him blanching at the sight of some one clip ting, clip ting, clip ting-ing their fingernails. In the frigging post office. Oh, the post office.

Beauty and Terror

kim | 19 July, 2006 07:38

Have nothing to do with each other. But if we don't fix what's going on, lip gloss will be irrelevant. Sometimes I think I should become a lawyer so I can help. What else can I do?

MAX by Pat

kim | 18 July, 2006 05:10

It's true, if you put Pat McGrath's name on anything I will purchase it. She was instrumental in picking the formulation for the Armani makeup line and designed much of it--or at the very least approved it--and it's still my favorite foundation. Now she's, like, the president of the makeup world but on the side she designed the new MAX line and I have to tell you, I love it! I actually used up my Lash Perfection from the launch party I went to, but I did love that and now we have waterproof for the summer. I'm not a huge fan of waterproof mascara, but I know all you ladies love it, so this is a great one. But I really did love the lash perfection.

I can't say enough about the eyeshadows. The texture is quite sophisticated, the colors are very vibrant and they last. I'm a huge fan and I wear 130 Coco Crazy as my default shadow, it's always in my bag because it's so easy, but they just sent me some 200 Precious Metals (okay, black and white I can see, but be careful with that gray!). The 210 Smooth Sailing is quite cute. Um, yeah, that was me endorsing blue eyeshadow? I'm clearly intoxicated with being sent so many free cosmetics. But with the right outfit? Every once in a while. And if you're going to purchase blue eyeshadow, do you really want to spend a million dollars on it? This is not an investment item. I think I'm actually going to wear this today and see what happens! I actually am starting to resemble Carmen Electra. I'm going to make a grid where my six pack would be in this blue eye shadow. Like you know how all the stars shade their six packs? I'm going to do mine in Smooth Sailing in honor of Carmen Electra and Pat McGrath.

The blush is a lovely texture, it's a nice, sheer wash of color. They sent me Peach Spice. And while nothing is Orgasm besides Orgasm, this is a lovely summer/spring color. If you use the enclosed brush, however...don't make me come down there and smack you. Please splurge on a proper brush or just go to Target and get a Sonia Kashuk collection. People, come on.

They sent me these all day lip color things, which I'm really not a fan of. Unless you're a bride. Or have to work all day. Or a mom. Okay, I get your point. The colors are nice and all of these lip stains do last a long time. But read the instructions. I know we're all a little too busy to do that, but this will only take a few minutes. And for goodness sakes, people, be careful when applying the stain.

The lipgloss, I remember from the party, is very light and gel-like. This is for people who complain that lip gloss is too sticky. Which it is not generally for me, the stickier the better, but if you're the other kind of girl, their gloss is for you.

The fun surprise was the Pan-Stick, because that's what my mom used to use. I grew up watching her apply it with her finger under her eyes--my mom never wore foundation, dark circles are our problem--and I used to use this formulation, too, for a long, long time. I found it too crease-y after a while, but I tried it again, since it was already there, and it seems a bit creamier than before and at the same time just a tad lighter. And it smells the same. Not exactly delicious, but certainly nostalgic. I love that. The best smelling cosmetics that kept their fragrances over time are Dior lipsticks, L'Oreal lipsticks, Bourjois blushes and eyeshadows an Max Factor Pan-Stick. I have to say that it lasted all day and did the job pretty well. If you're someone who has darkness around your eyes and rednessaround your nose and whose skin is pretty good shape otherwise, this might be a good spot-reducer for you.

All in all, this line is pretty nice! I love that drugstore brands are heating up. It's sort of democratic. And I'm all about the democracy!

The Devil Wears Prada--the review

kim | 17 July, 2006 09:09

On Saturday night my man and I saw the Devil Wears Prada. Since I am no Anthoy Lane, despite my desperate wishes otherwise, herein are a few thoughts, in bullet point form, on my impressions of this movie:

In the history of the magaine publishing I would bet my career that the entire amount of makeup worn by the character Emily, (the first assistant of the Editor in Chief of Runway magazine (the movie's fictional Vogue), there was never one woman who wore so much makeup. In fact, I would say that the amount and variation of makeup that she wore in the movie is collectively the same amount that the entire staff at Vogue wore in the year 2005. People in Editorial Do Not Wear Makeup. Including Makeup Artists. Or they'd better look like they don't. Please see Aerin Lauder, Anna Wintour, Pat McGrath, Gucci Westman. Don't look at Charlie Green. She's famous for Victoria's Secret, anyway. Doesn't count.

There would never be a time in the history of the world that Anna Wintour, Glenda Bailey, or anyone would be caught dead with chalky white-pink eyeshadow and a gray-blue crease. Never, ever, ever, ever. I don't get Meryl Streep's makeup in the movie. It went along with the fairy tale, but not in the spirit of the actual profession. To me, she looked a little more Cruella. But I'm sure that was intentional.

The wardrobe was amazing, improbable, glossy and large. But it was not directional. No, it wasn't. I admire Patricia Feild's work, her spunk, her store (I shopped there as a kid--a camp counselor told me that I looked "punk" when I was 11, which I did because I was wearing a Patricia Feild garment) but I think she went along with the idea of this being a fairy tale for the masses. Which it was. But I don't know if Anna Wintour would wear that. I know, it wasn't Anna Wintour. Okay, right.

I sure hope that they start training actors again. Just because you are devastatingly beautiful to look at, doesn't mean that you can't be grounded in your circumstances. I thought the writing was a little tidy, the set-ups too predictable, so there's that. With all that hard working, nobody really had to do much in the script. It was predictably laid out. Meryl Streep is my hero, my idol, a woman to admire from every vantage point. But she didn't really have any challenges in the film, so of course she stood out. She is Meryl Streep. You can plunk her anywhere and she will be the most fascinating person in the room. Oh, do I love her.

And speaking of predictable, how can you make a movie about women and offer the two choices of being successful and horrible person or moral and broke?

And since when did a chef--the craziest and most passionate of professions a person could choose--get mad because his girlfriend was working too long and too hard? They should have made him an accountant, or a 9-5 kind of a guy.

Despite my many complaints, I left walking on a cloud. The movie was funny and great to look at and I got invested in all of the character's problems and was happy they resolved. I loved it.

The Devil Wears Prada

kim | 16 July, 2006 20:09

Review to come. Will collect my thoughts after I pick myself up off the floor after Newt Gingrich declared this is WWIII

Pedi Podcast

kim | 14 July, 2006 14:19

Please check out my podcast on FashionTribes.com on DIY pedicures. Cute, inexpensive and gorge!

Project Runway Commentary, linked.

kim | 14 July, 2006 09:46

There is nothing better than watching Project Runway than reading the Manolo's commentary on it the next day. One thing I will say is that one of the reasons why I love Project Runway is that while the challenges ask everything of its contestants, the point never seems to mean to humiliate like some other shows (ANTM, ahem). However, if someone doesn't get that poor Vincent some medication we are going to have to watch his humilliating demise and I don't want to be a party to that. Also, why, just because you make a beautiful garment does that mean you think you can act like a bitch? I wish people would stop doing that.


kim | 12 July, 2006 08:25

Different things get used in different ways. Last night, for example, I was sent CO Bigelow's Peach Nut Oil 18 in 1 uses ("The Every Day Do-It-All Soap Gentle Cleansing and Conditioning) and the packaging is so cute, and I'm into the gentle thing and it claims to be from their "Original Formulary" so I'm all ready to clean up with it, but...then I had no soap for my unmentionables and I used it for that as well! It's a great thing, the scent is scant and it's just a great little package. And here's the 19th use for it: since it has oils in it, if you've been washing your makeup brushes like you should be and they are feeling a tad dry, I would give this Peach Nut Oil a try for maybe once a month on the brushes!

There are also other uses of things. Namely, me. I recently had this exchange:

Representative: Dear little blogger, can you promote this product/service/celebrity/reality show on your website?

Me: Why sure! I'm a big fan of that product/service/celebrity/reality show! Is there any way I could interview that product/service/celebrity/members of that reality show and I could tie it in to something that you've got going on?

Representative: Yeah, um, no. Little blogger.

So the Peach Nut Oil wins.

Project Runway Is Coming

kim | 11 July, 2006 11:50

And I really can't wait. I love the show. I'm shameless. How many times did I sit through those reruns waiting, hoping for a new cast of crazy designers? Yet there I sat, even though I knew the outcome. They were fresh for me every time. Sad. Tomorrow, 9pm there is a casting special and then at 10:00 the show!

Going Gray?

kim | 10 July, 2006 10:17

First of all, is is grey or gray? Thoughts?

Mike told me this weekend that he thought that I might just want to let my gray grow out since it peeks out after 3 days. My hair grows fast and my gray is tenacious. If I grew it out, I would have to get in the shape of my life and wear red lipstick all the time, even to the gym.

Unless I ordered Turbo Jam, which I almost did this morning. The kid got really into it--as we were watching the infomercial he was punching and kicking and twisting along with the moves. This is the kid who shreiks, NO PILATES!!! NO PILATES!!!, when I drag out my yoga mat to do Windsor Pilates every once in a while. Although, if you are really listening, it's no piwates, but that's just a detail. If I actually do get down on the mat, he throws himself on me, bodily, and makes it impossible for me to keep my belly button attached to my spine because I'm laughing so hard. So it's hard to stay in shape around here.

But the stakes are getting higher: this morning when we were cuddling, gazing into each other's sleepy eyes (after I retrieved him from his crib people, relax) he noticed that I had a blemish on one of my eyes. It's something Iwould need to have removed, just a little bump. He got upset and tried to scratch it off, he wanted it off of his beautiful, perfect mother. Plus, whenever I put my hair up in a ponytail he juts out his hand and makes a grabbing motion and asks, "HAIR? HAIR?!!!" So my point is, my grooming is becoming a paramount concern for my son these days.

If I did decide to go gray, it would rock my world and I would have to stop rocking the Ben and Jerry's half baked Cookie Dough/Brownie and start rocking the Turbo Jam.

I'm not yet 40. Are we so youth and beauty obsessed that I would not be able to be a successful makeup artist and writer with gray hair?


Hair Dye+You=Lymphoma?

kim | 05 July, 2006 10:02

Did you read this article today in the NY Post?

You know I'm the Non-Toxic Avenger. I don't even do my nails because the acetone in the remover goes straight to the liver and stresses your system. Non-acetone remover, you ask? What do you think is in nail polish? Anyway. My hair is gray. Not the whole head, but alot of it, and not in a pretty way. If it were all gray, maybe I would let it go, but with my skin color it just makes me look blah. If I covered myself in self-tanner, then that would be another problem. I need to stay chic and cancer-free.

Any thoughts?


kim | 30 June, 2006 09:34

Did you read the article in the New Yorker about Balenciaga? I'm halfway through. When I read about a man who created ermine bustles, I feel bad about my own accomplishemnts, but then I also feel inspired. I also feel inspired to hear that the man who created some of the most stunning and perfect garments the world has ever seen was, to say the least, imperfect and could have used some therapy. But here's the thing: if he got some therapy, then I bet it would have diluted his genius. I love that. I can't wait to see how the article ends. But I have this question for you: do you think it was a coincidence that this article ran the same week that Nicole Kidman got married in a Nicolas Ghesquiere dress? I don't think so. So now they are all three legitimized.

My Sunscreen Podcast on Fashiontribes!

kim | 28 June, 2006 20:02

Not trying to sound redundant, here, but here's my podcast about sunscreen on the wonderful Lesley's Fashiontribes!

Sirius Flog--Delayed Edition

kim | 28 June, 2006 08:19

On Monday I did Beauty Talk with Eva Scrivo on Martha Stewarts's channel on Sirius. It was so much fun. I have not posted these pictures yet because the switch to my new server has been mostly smooth, but not in my blog's case, and I have also been quite ill, which is happening with alarming frequency.

When I got to the security area, there were a bunch of womyn about to go on the Queer show (I forget it's name, sorry) and they were so NICE! One of them, Jude Schell, wrote this book that she is holding up:

If you need this resource, I would say that this book is quite the difinitive guide. That's all I'm saying. Jude and her friend and, oh golly, this comedian--I regretfully forget her name but she was so awesome--shepherded me upstairs and I almost went on their program with them because I was having so much fun with them.

But I was there to do Eva's show. We had to wait until the Whatever women were done with their show, but there's really no waiting area for that except the waiting room, and it was too far away. So while I copped a squat, Eva reclined:

We were giving away two of these, so cute:

Sam, the producer, was so cute in her pink--one of those effortlessly slim women who looks pretty and smart at the same time? Hate that. She was wearing a pink button down shirt with some tiny eyelet detail on it, a pink hoodie and a pink heart necklace with jeans, offset by her glasses and her personal gravitas. She was very nice, too:

Sam fielded many calls. We meant to take one road but we got so many calls, and it was so much fun talking to all the women, that it was almost a caller show. I just love helping women find solutions. I'm one part maternal, one part know-it-all, and one part need all the credit and one part sister-love. We had a great time and there were many, many acne questions, for some reason. I will devote my Secrets page to those answers. Finally, here I am, smiling under the pain of a stomach virus. I was pretending that I was fine, but there was some air caught in my throat for the first half hour that finally loosened itself at the half-time break. "Elegant," I thought, as I burped.

I could blame the hair on the headphones, but, dear reader, I went in with bad hair! I had a blast, though. Thanks to Eva Scrivo for having me!

Wow! That was fun!

kim | 26 June, 2006 22:26

I will show you my pictures just as soon as I figure out a way to work this crazy new blog. I just changed servers and now all y'all who couldn't see me before can see me now! Tomorrow it will be slightly more interesting.

Tonight, On Sirius Radio: ME!

kim | 26 June, 2006 07:07

True, I will be on Eva Scrivo's show and we will be giving away two Jaqua Girls Bakery Gift Sets. Can you stand it? Also, if the T-Girls can finally see this, welcome. I changed my server just for you.

My Podcast on FashionTribes!

kim | 23 June, 2006 19:59

Please go listen to my podcast on how not to be a tan monolith this summer on FashionTribes!

Time Out New York

kim | 22 June, 2006 19:57

Check out my article in the Chill Out section! I keep forgetting to tell you guys.

Reader Question

kim | 21 June, 2006 14:11


Why do I always feel like a total jerk at the makeup counter? I am pretty convinced it's less that I am clueless, though I am a little, and more that the salespersons really and truly look down on me as their customer. I am eager and willing to try things, and better yet, BUY things. So why the crap treatment?

Am I that hopeless? Is it not acceptable to go to shop for makeup with a clean, scrubbed, blemish-free face? With just a touch of tinted moisturizer and light use of the eyelash curler? Do I just scream "AMATEUR!" at them?

It seems that they look sideways at me, gossip about me when my back is turned, and would frankly rather have their toenails pulled out with pliers than help me. They're all wearing 4-5mm of pancake, nearly all have a distinctive "evening" smoky eye look going, and dark, dark lipstick.

I speak mainly of a very large retailer (Sephora, where those women all seem to be applying makeup on themselves rather than attempting to sell it) with multiple lines of cosmetics for sale, but I have also received this identical type of treatment at specific individual lines. MAC being particularly nasty, snooty, condescending and having no time for me.
They'd rather sit around talking to one another, looking like they're auditioning for the next Bauhaus video than help me. The "nice guys" are Kiehl's and Armani. Thanks for the Armani tip, they are wonderful. And they are unfailingly decent at Nordstrom.


Dear Susie,

Let me tell you something: you are a woman with unbelievable taste, I know this personally. But even if you weren't, nobody deserves to be treated that way. Not under any circumstance, as we are all G-d's little creatures scurrying around doing the best job we can possibly do on this planet, even though some of us are more self-aware and empathic about it than others. But even more so at a retail establishment. You are there to spend your money, most of these women make COMMISSION. You, with your naked, curled eyelashes and clean face are more like a sophisticated New York City makeup artist (that's how most of them walk around, believe me) than any of those poser hacks behind the counter. You do your makeup beautifully, and there is no reason for you to think ill of yourself. It's sort of like the mommies in my area--I just realized there was nothing wrong with me because I didn't wear $235 jeans. And I like some of the women who do, but if they don't like me because I don't, then I need to hang out with new mommies, which is what I have to do. Just because one posesses money does not mean one posesses style--just because you are wearing alot of makeup does not mean that you exactly know how to apply it. So I would say that you need to either ignore those women, because, in truth by looking at them they are not qualified to help you, and shop for what you were looking for, or just go to Nordstroms. There is always the possiblity of my E-makeover, but since I will be seeing you around holiday time, not advisable.

These women? I don't know. The first floor, I've heard it said from a financial point of view, hold up the rest of the floors of a department store. And yet as beautiful as the things that are sold on that floor are, their opposite and equal power also exist doing battle in the form of petty disagreements, back stabbing, customer judgements and customer stealing. Some of the greatest people I've ever met have worked behind counters, as well as some of the bitchiest. Every time I go shopping I thank the Universe that I don't have to work in that environment any more. So don't shop there, ask me questions. You are such an original, you need so much less help than you think you need.

Much love,

Addendum: I have to say, perhaps since I'm a professional, that I have always gotten stellar treatment at MAC. If there is someone I don't like, I just go on to the next person. Plus, people at MAC don't make commission, so that maybe explains it. I love all the MAC girls and guys that I know. There is a certain air of authority with which all makeup artists address each other, so maybe you're feeling that? That's part and parcel to the biz. A kind of stand-offish judgementalness that disintegrates, over time, into incisive judgemental jokes or potty humor.

Soon, I Promise

kim | 15 June, 2006 08:13

This is the first day in more than a week that I have had access to my website on my computer. As you can imagine, this has caused me all sorts of problems. I am working on it, I promise, and to tide you over, I am going to share a secret with you:

MAC's gel liners are waterproof and come in many different colors. They can also be used as eyeshadows. If you mix them with MAC's Peintures, which also dry to a waterproof finish, you can bear the mugginess of today with your eye shadow in tact. Pair with their new cheek tints and stains and you will rock the glam without the melting problem. Go forth and don't worry about your makeup.

Don't Feel Free

kim | 07 June, 2006 05:33

to put your hands in my kit. To take out a lip gloss from my bag and try it on your mouth. Or touch my eyeshadows with your grubby fingers. I don't care how important you are. Unless you are going to replace them all. I have to use it on other people, okay? And plus, I don't rummage through your file drawers and computer at work. And it's my private property.

I mean, not YOU, but, you know, those skanks from the other day.


kim | 04 June, 2006 22:52

It's not that stuff is not nice,? I love stuff. But do we need that much stuff? I'm not convinced. I mean, I will tell you what I think is the best stuff, the most organic stuff, the least toxic stuff. But don't get it all, hey? Just get some of it. Then donate a portion of what you would spend on the stuff that's a little overkill and give it to someone who needs more stuff than you do.

Does that make sense?

Divalysscious Moms/Crush Event

kim | 02 June, 2006 06:29

Wow, did I have fun last night! I was on of a panel with a bunch of fabulous beauty experts and yet all the moms were stunning.? Tessa (pronounced Tisa) of Mark Garrison Salon and I had decided we would take two women from the audience and make them over; but standing watching the crowd as Dr. Steven Wallach and Barbara from More magazine were speaking, I lterally had a moment of panic. All the moms? were all so beautiful--these were not women who needed my help. Really, I thought moms were crazy, harried and had hair springing up from their heads in all different directions, but it's just me, I guess. Then, of course, when they got a little closer I saw thte handuls of things that every mom has difficulty attending to--circles under eyes, red splotches--and the dreaded eyebrow over-pluck, a difficult problem to solve.

I raffled myself off for a $500 prize--a full home beauty makeover in which I will go to the winner's home and go entirely through her makeup, give her a makeup lesson with a face chart, take her shopping and fix those damn eyebrows. So funny--the woman who won was the one woman in the room who asked me for advice and didn't like what I told her. She wanted "nude lips" because she wanted to play up her eyes, but she always had trouble picking out lipstick becuase she was always getting light beiges and light purples. I gave her something sheerer and warmer and she didn't like it because she was not accustomed to it. I stuck to my guns and asked her to just sit with it for a little while. It was if I had ask her to wear a dirty diaper as a necklace for spiritual reasons--she would do it, but she would be grimmacing the whole time. But her friends backed me up and she was willing to embrace the paradigm shift. She really did look so great, I think by the end, she was so drunk (it was in the wine store Crush) that she didn't care. It's rare that I get a situation like this, but I love it when I do. It's not that you are picking out bad colors for yourself, it's that you need to have a I'm not going to cosign it, I'm here to lift you out of your rut, but you have to want to come out of it. Even if it is decorated all nice and cozy.?

Squeaky Clean

kim | 01 June, 2006 11:22

Just finished transferring kit from a million messy bags to a nice, clean, linear kit. Feels like a hot shower with lots of scrubbing. So happy.


kim | 30 May, 2006 23:29

Did I tell you I'm doing an event with Divalysscious Moms on June 1st? It's me, Tessa from Mark Garrison, Dr. Steven Wallach, More Magazine at Crush--so there will be a wine tasting, a raffle, a bunch of goody bags and if you're in the audience, maybe we'll pick you for a makeover!

Excuse Me, Ma'am? Subway Edition

kim | 30 May, 2006 11:32

Today on the subway I saw a woman apply red lipstick. She kept going over her lip line with a tissue, which was great, because with red you want to keep a perfect line, but the way she was rubbing was so hard that I was afraid that she was going to make it red from the irritation alone and then negate her original intention. But she was from hearty stock and her skin did not freak out and she was able to make a perfect line. But. She had made her line so small that she had this teeny, tiny red mouth. Word to the wise, especially in the upcoming days of fall when big, dark purple mouths will be all the rage--when you're going with a dark color, overdraw your mouth, not underdraw it. It will look very teeny tiny and that looks bad. But the worst part was when she took out her considerable makeup bag (clear plastic with writing on it) and it was filled with samples and gift with purchase sized items. Swag does not a makeup kit make, so if you're doing your makeup with the crumbs you've collected together from friends, goody bags or gift with purchases, you're probably not going to look your optimal best.

Later I had to take the kid to the MAC store and I spent my "back to MAC" (trade in 6 ratty old plastic MAC things and get one new lipstick, everyone should do it!) on an orange lipstick that that kid was insisting on playing with. Bruce from MACPRO was so sweet, he bundled up a bunch of wipes in a bag for me so that I could wipe off the orange lipstick the kid drew up and down his arms and his face. It was all over, but he was ready to blow a gasket in MAC if I didn't give it to him, so he kinda had me hostage. I bought a box, finally, and now I'm going to the container store to get little boxes to section it off. Nothing is easy. Except the kid, who is happy painting brilliant orange lipstick all over his body.

Memorial Day

kim | 28 May, 2006 23:15

The purpose of Memorial Day is to remember those who have died in service to the United States. Let's take a moment to remember them, shall we? We can rock the barbeque all we want, but if it were not for men in service, we would not be able to get our meat so cheap at Costco. We would have to be hunting for it, scavenging for it, or waiting on a line. I am grateful to be an American, proud of the concept of Democracy, freedom for all, the chance at a fair life. I owe much of that to men who never even met me, never even conceived that I would exist. Their widows sacrificed their marriages for us, their orphans gave up parents for us. It's so important to thank them. Thank you. All veterans, past and present.

But not all war is necessary, and some wars, poorly strategized, are difficult to extract troops from, having destabilized the regions into which an army has thrust itself--good intentions or not. So let's pray for an end to war and and project an emrbrace to peace in the near future. Let's pray for all the lunatics and hope they get back on their meds before they start another scary war and threaten our planet. Although, Mother Earth at this point is probably like, oh, go ahead already, you morons. Let's get it over with.

So I say a hearty thank you to our troops overseas, whereever they are and pray for their speedy and fully intact return.

All We Are Saying

kim | 24 May, 2006 22:31

Is give the aging process a chance...

If you know what I mean...

Although, this is a pretty good picture of Jocelyn.

Meg's Makeup

kim | 24 May, 2006 21:31

Meg's Makeup is a totally cute new website that has honest, enthusiastic reviews about a million products. It's a great website with alot of energy. And if you spoke (or emailed) with Meg herself, you would see why! It completely reflects her personality.

Cosmetics and the Congo

kim | 24 May, 2006 10:47

I cannot tolerate what is going on.? Warning: it's pretty horrible. I'm frustrated beyond my limits. I cannot believe that in today's world, these things are still happening to women. We are all busy, believe me, nobody knows more than I do. But we are women and we have to help each other, protect each other and advocate for each other. We need to stretch ourselves just a bit because we are privileged more than any other women on the planet by our legal system and the constitution. Are they perfect? No. But they are more than what most women have. Are you reading this from work? I rest my case. So go over here, and spend a little money on makeup that will make a difference in your sister's life. Your sister in the broad sense. Yes, that was a pun. I don't know--they just spill out of me, it's beyond my control.

Coutourture Party!

kim | 19 May, 2006 13:34

Phil. He's happy.

Julie is glamourous. Elke did her makeup.

Zoe won Gen Art. Susie? Zoe gives you a big hug--here.

Here is a detail of Zoe's dress. She looked beautiful. Elke also did her makeup as well.

Here are Elke, Lesley and Elke.

Here I am with Elke.

What can I tell you? I didn't take pictures of anyone that I didn't know, really. There were a bunch of people there. WWD, FWD and Wiredset were there. Diana from Project Runway, second season was there. I thought she was a friend of mine, she was so familiar to me. Sad. I talked to Elke for a while, Zoe for awhile, Lesley and Julie for a minute and waited and waited waited for Kristen, who didn't show because she was ill, and then I went home. It was really, really fun. I would write about it more if the kid would sleep but he won't and instead, he's screaming. So I will tell more later.

Work and Play

kim | 18 May, 2006 06:12

Is this a normal work day?

9:30 Appointment
10:15 First Client, 8 blocks away
11:30 Second Client, 6 blocks away
1:00-6:30 Kid Time
7:00-10:00 Work at studio job

10:30 Coutorture Launch Party at Lucky Jack's 129 Orchard Street. RSVP to julie[at]coutourture.net to attend! Hope to see you there!

More Crisp

kim | 17 May, 2006 10:39

As summer fades in, or should I say, as the despoilation of the earth swiftly decsends upon us, and it starts getting a little sweaty, I am longing for a cleaner scent. SOmething that is not too much and at the same time makes me feel clean all the time. Enter in Marc Jacob's splashes of Rain and Grass. Yummy. Then head over to Fresh and get some of their Sugar Body Scrub. I'm all about Pangea Organics soaps, they are hand made, organic and super fresh. And have I mentioned Sabon? Oh, Sabon. Alas, I didn't get any Rose soap on Mother's Day (I got so much more, though), so I will head off to get some today, on my pretend day off.

Inventing My Own Crack

kim | 16 May, 2006 14:02

If you are a Daily Candy reader, you may have found that they are offering a 25% off coupon on Sabon. Their soaps are delectable and their body oil, body scrub and body butter, divine.

The crack was particularly difficult this morning as I have a cold that feels like a miniature version of the flu: too yucky to feel good, not bad enough to call in the cavalry. I think it's just too much work. I was working with a coach for about a year who was lovely and very positive and helped me crack through alot of stuff, but was not goal oriented. I loved her, but it was time for both of us to move on as I was not meeting my goals. I met a kick ass coach this morning at the crack who asked me what I wanted and what I was willing to devote to get it. I've been talking with Mike about it, and I'm going to create my own personal crack, getting up before the kid and working on the project that is desperately important to me. By summer's end, I expect that it will be done. How's that for a goal? I'm stoked.

As for makeup, I've changed my look to a softer, more summer look starting with Becca loose shimmer powder in Princess, Ondine by Nars in the crease, either color of Surabaya (the best duet of browns ever invented) just to deepen that, and a smudge of black liner at the edge. MAC creme blush in that thing they had for spring, I'll get you the name and a sheer, plummy lip. It really doesn't look like makeup at all--it just looks well carved out, warm and shimmery. I'm really into the subtle trickery of makeup. And it still only takes me five minutes.

The Makeup Show

kim | 15 May, 2006 15:06

That's me in all my glory in a Make Up For Ever beautiful mirrored case. Does it not give you palpitations? No? Then you're not cut out for this kind of work.

First, I happened to go right as Billy B. was speaking.

This guy packs the room and when he was done, there was a rush to the stage and the poor guy was almost crushed.? I could listen to him and watch him all day long. A great synopsis of his lecture can be read here on Elke's blog. I missed her, unfortunately, but we were there at the same time. Anyway, the take a look at this:

He's so phat, he gets his own sign language interpreter. He's that good. I gave him a hug and he shouted out my website's name for everyone to read, so if you're here from his mention, thank you!

Then it was downstairs to try to find Doyrn of Doryn's Dish and to look around.

I couldn't find her, but everyone had their shirt off and was painted.

I remember when I was a kid and I painted my body like these girls and when I was done, and there was nothing left to paint, I painted my chair like this:

I mean, we just can't stop! It goes on and on.

She's not wearing clothes, if you know what I mean.

Airbrushing was everywhere. It's definitely the next thing, it is the thing in makeup right now. But I'm still not convinced. I mostly think that people look a little like Guy Smiley:

You know, kind of velvet-y. I know it can be done so that there's not that--Kevyn used to do it, but still. And the particles in the lungs. I think these should be used with care.

Then there were the special effects:

Although this is my favorite:

Then there were the sparkles:

They were everywhere and I could not get enough of them.
Finally I found Doryn:

We had such a nice chat.
Finally, I'd like to thank Michael Devellis for putting on such a great show. This one was the best of its kind, long overdue and a welcome change!

The Make Up Show Is Coming!!!

kim | 12 May, 2006 19:44

On Mother's Day and the day after, the Makeup Show will be at Metropolitan Pavillion. I am so excited. It's for industry professionals, only, and it's the first year. I anticipate it being the makeup event of the year for professionals. I have never been to a makeup show cooler than the MAC Chinoise one, with all that brilliant airbrushing and beautiful art, that was the best possible usage of makeup I have ever seen. But this is going to be the best possible usage of networking, products and demonstrations that I've ever seen. Makeup is so cool and the schools for it are so cheesy. This is New York, we are the coolest (sorry, we are) and now we finally have a cool place to learn and expand. And shop. Let's not forget the shopping, shall we?

On a personal note, I'm on day 3 of a 4-day, 5-job bender. I'm still writing--and am getting some articles published and reworking my other projects. And taking care of the kid most of the time. I'm pink, sparkly Wonder Mom, if I do say so myself

Did I Mention I Was Famous?

kim | 11 May, 2006 21:40

Yes, I am quoted in this article, in the World Jewish Digest. I really do like the Sabon Products.The Rose Soap especially for some reason, it seems so simple and pure and indulgent to me. And the body butters. And before I met Jo Woods body oil (so sexy it makes me want to hit on my own damn self) I was a huge fan of the Sabon body Oil in Lavender Patchouli Vanilla. Did I mention that I am one part hippie? I am. I smell like a hippie most of the time, and a sophisticated French woman the other half. And now I'm famous.?


kim | 11 May, 2006 21:25

Today I bookended my child care with work, once in the morning at the crack and once in the evening. There were raisins and dinosaurs in between. The morning was amazing. An actor who I have had admiration for before, l learned, has some nasty exzcema whereever he has hair on his head Then I did the makeup of an actor who has no hair where he perhaps formerly did but now has the worst semi-Elizabethan piece aloft his pate. It was fun, though, don't get me wrong. Great moring. Then, tonight, I did a friend's makeup in a fabulous and well known salon. I love working with other makeup artists, but hair people...not all of them, if you know what I mean. It's like drummers and guitarists: two different personalities entirely. One works with a person and one works behind a person. Just a theory. I've known some great hairdressers, colorists, cutters, and I've known some real doozies, too. Salons are tough environments, not really sure why. Everyone was super nice, though, but those fricking hair dryers. I CAME HOME AND TOLD MIKE ABOUT THE EXCITING NIGHT I HAD AND THE WAY HER EYES CAME OUT PERFECTLY--HOW I MATCHED THE DRESS AND THE CONNECTIONS THAT I MADE and I realized that I was speeding and still talking at the same loudness of the salon. Now, it could have been the Kashi bar I had before hand (I'm all about the protein these days) but I really think it was the loud hair dryers. Every woman in New York seemed to be getting a blow out tonight. Everyone was having their hair done. I've never seen so many chairs. And filled. It's been about an hour and I'm just coming down from it all now. I take full responsibility for my sensory issue problems, but I don't know how one ever gets used to that sound. What sound? I can't hear you, sonny, I'm deef. From the hair dryers.

Mother's Day Beauty--A Dream List

kim | 10 May, 2006 21:59

As a mom, and as a beauty blogger, I would like to offer up my dream list of what I would like to get if I could have any beauty products in the world:

A two ounce jar of Creme de la Mer. The other one is just too big. I'd rather have the regular sized one. So middle class.
The perfect cleanser. Still huting.
Revive's neck cream.
Laura Mercier Creme Brulee body wash. A few of them.
Half of Sabon's line. Especially a whole log of the rose soap, but cut up into proper sizes.
The Sabon Body Butter in the Lavender with the fancy little ceramic holder
The entire Sugar Body line by fresh, including two Sugar scrubs
That toluelene-Free nail polish in light pink and deep, dark brown/black and scarlet red
That huge Bliss soap that smells of verbena
The foot kit by Bliss. Except the socks, yuck.
The MBT sneakers. You can get them for me at Bliss, or at Tip Top on the west side, size 8 1/2
Caleche eau Delicate by Hermes
Half of the Aura Cacia essential oils line, including sandalwood, patchouli, rose and frankicense (that's not how you spell that)
Dr. Haushka's entire line, including a year's worth of lip balm
SCO's lip balm
Bella Donna Foundation
The rest of the Armani Prive fragrances
A year's supply of Armani Soft Lash in #1, the best mascara ever made
The entire line of Urban Decay's eyeshadows
Every one of Laura Mercier's lipsticks, half her eyeshadows and blushes, her pan liner
Most lip glasses.
A bunch of Lorac's lipsticks.
Half of Cargo's lip glosses
All of Nars' blushes,, the rest of the eyeshadows I don't have and all of the pot glosses.
T. LeClerc powders, just so I can say I have them
Kevyn Aucoin's entire line.
Amazing Concealer in medium
The Bobbi Shimmer Bricks--ALL OF THEM--and all of the lip and cheek things. Especially in Pink
Armani foundation and #2 translucent powder and some of the lip glosses.
Everything that sparkles in MAC and every MAC PRO product
An air brush and all of the colors, not just foundations.
All tourmaline and ionic hair straighteners and dryers.
One year of hair cuts by Serge Normant and/or Garren
Coloring by John Barrett, for the same length of time.
Osetra Caviar, French service, please.
A day to sleep in.
A trainer three days a week at Exhale Spa for a year.
The tall dinosaur mug at the American Museum of Natural History, $15

Thank you. Please email me if you want my shipping address. Carry on.


kim | 10 May, 2006 07:01

I am so sad. I'm tired of sparkles. I'm sure I will come back to them, but they look dated and I don't want to pack them onto my eyelids anymore. I used to love to take my index finger, dip it in to the lid of some sparkles and just pack them onto my lid. True, they would all end up on my cheek, but I always got compliments. If not, then definitely stares. What is acceptable sparkle behavior? to me lately is Urban Decay's Midnight Cowboy (or any shadow by Urban Decay, which mostly have sparkles), Honesty by MAC, any of the Night colors by Nars, also Fathom by Nars, Beauty Marked and Tempting by MAC and Twinkle by Laura Mercier. They just give an illumination here and there, and they also love to fall down to the cheek bone, illuminating the entirety of your eye area.

Every B*itch Is Illuminated

kim | 10 May, 2006 06:14

Did you see the movie "Everything is Illuminated" without reading the book? Too bad. This is one of my favorite books ever written. I wept while I read it, partially because it was so beautiful, partially because I knew I would never write such an incredible piece of literature and partially because I had taken off some time from working three jobs, going to acting school and finishing my own little guide book. Plus, I had done the powder of the author on one of my morning shows so long ago and I wish I had shmoozed him just a little bit more, because I had so many questions. I could have at least inviegled his email address while chatting him up. In any case, if you had seen the movie, you would know the character Alex, who is so hystreically funny with his malapropisms, Lately, I think the real people upon whom Alex was based have been spamming my email with the most ridiculous porn. It would be so upsetting if he English was not so bad, but it is, and it's? laughable. Women can't really be degraded if one is describing the degradation like a retard would, right? It's in the stupidity that its power is taken away. Like if Anna Wintour started changing her style like Madonna every year, she would totally lose her power. Or if she opened her mouth and said something in public. Or ate.

Cool Beauty School Moms

kim | 09 May, 2006 17:48

You know who I love? Women in the beauty business. Not all of them, guilty as charged, but alot of them. Why capitalize everything when italics will do? There will be a return to italics on this website, mark my words. Anywhoozle, I think I'm going to start a playgroup of moms in the beauty industry. Moms who love products, but don't believe the hype. I'm sick of the girls in my area who do believe the hype. I wear Levi's because I am cooler than you. Not because I can't afford True Religion. Baa-aa-aaah little sheep with your mani=pedi blow out and your stupid bronzer all over your face. It's not blush, okay?

Any cool moms who do beauty PR, are makeup artists, hairstylists, styling, owners of salons or makeup lines or work for retail in anyway, drop me a line and we'll be normal with our adorable kids.


kim | 08 May, 2006 11:53

What makes someone famous? Is it hard work? A great publicist? An unspoken willingness to reveal your most private of private parts? Madonna has made a career of creating exiciting publicity--often employing the aforementioned methods--but will that ensure she will be remembered eons from now? Estee Lauder passed on to the Great Makeup Counter In The Sky a few years back, but her work during her lifetime ensures that her name, even? if you do not use her products, stays on your lips: everyone knows MAC, Stila, Bobbi Brown and even La Mer are owned by her company. I ask this question because we are entering the Mesozoic Era in our household and we are knee-deep in dinosaurs. We have figurines, puzzles, DVD's and we run around shrieking as if we are being chased by kid-eating monsters. There are millions of little extant dinosaur paraphenialia (including a huge dino mug at the American Museum of Natural History that I desperately want but is and unreasonable $15!), but the dinosaurs are not seeing one red cent from it. As the kid fell asleep last night clutching a Tyrannasaurus by his throat, I thought, who owns his estate? And are his grandkids pissed that he sold his royalties? I live in a shallow place and sometimes I can't divest myself of that heinous commercialism. But, let's face it, who's more famous than the dinosaurs?

Makeup Shows

kim | 05 May, 2006 14:44

I missed IBS. I don't even look at my calendar anymore. The days are hurtling by and if it's not in my face, I just don't have the time. I need a secretary. Or an intern. The Cosmetic Executive Women Awards were today. I did not go, for a variety of reasons, but rest assured when I find out the winners, I will pass them along to you. The CEW Awards is how I found out about Estee Lauder's Idealist, which is one of the best products I've ever used on my broken-out, large-pored skin. I wouldn't much go in the sun with it if I were using it on a regular basis, but it is the be-all, end-all perfect solution to adult acne. Those women know what they're doing over there. But I am going to the Powder Group's Makeup Show and I CAN'T WAIT!!! Also, I'm considering getting an airbrush. I hate airbrushed makeup. It looks good in certain media but not in many, and I'm sure if I learned about it more I will love it more? I simply can't wait. I love makeup and I love learning about it and exploring new products and learning new techniques.

For My Next Act...

kim | 02 May, 2006 23:13

I think I should be a beauty editor. Your job is being beautiful and getting all the best product. Who could argue with that?

Peace is Pretty

kim | 01 May, 2006 16:37

Today I had to take the day off. For me, that means the day on the phone and attached to the internet, but I'm finally getting all my ducks in rows. I don't have just one row. And then I...took a shower. A shower is highly underestimated by people who don't have children, as people who do have children can attest.

Lately, my favorite shower things are:
Korres Guava Bath Gel -- because it smells like sugar. It came with that body creme for elbows and feet that was so rich that I used it all over my body this winter, so that's long gone.
Kiehl's Grapfruit Body Wash-- I like to alternate
Ms. Pedicure Kit--this low cost, slightly low quality kit has everything you need to keep your feet in shape in between pedis.
And EO Rose and Chammomile Body Cream.
I'm still using that Sabon Salt Scrub in the Patchouli/Lavender/Sex Goddess flavor.

I have new skincare to talk about, but I will do so soon, I'm savoring it for something special.
Also, later on this week I'm going to head down to Priti Salon for an organic pedi.? If I can fit it in to the schedule.

Fourty and Fabulous

kim | 01 May, 2006 10:05

This Friday, at 9:30, I will be on a panel along? with Mark Garrison, More Magazine and Dr. Steven Wallach that will address moms who are fourty and over whom will also walk away with some awesome goody bags. Space is limited to the first 40 moms who RSVP. Please do so at rsvp@divalyssciousmoms.com. It's going to be great fun!

Change of Plans

kim | 30 April, 2006 20:43

Growing up in New York amidst the rich and the poor, it's easy to pick out role models for careers, homes and social placement. My whole life I thought I wanted a certain status but today I met the matriarch of one of the nation's most sought after families and boy, was she unpleasant. I then worked with kids in a shelter doing some crafts and boy, were they pleasant. Perhaps it was the crack--I worked this morning before it was offically daytime-- but I have sworn off things and status as goals. Now, we all want things (particularly, as the case may be, barrels filled with pink lip gloss) but I would rather have very little and be happy with myself than be super rich and powerful and be bummed out all the time. I am certain, however, the two can co-exist beautifully, because I've met those people, too. But since we can't take it with us (even the pink lip gloss--although if I were any other religion, I would ask that it go into my casket with me so I could sparkle and shine in the afterlife) why not just be grateful for what we have and who we have. We may be more fortunate than we think.

It Was A Good Day

kim | 28 April, 2006 17:02

Today I cut the nose hair of arguably one of America's sexiest and most talented movie stars. He was quite a gentleman about it. Then I shook the hand of an infamous lothario--one whose prowess I'd previously dismissed--but as our hands met I got a jolt of electricity up my arm all the way to my shoulder. We were standing in a group of people and I had to nudge myself back into consciousness and wipe the glazed look off my face and stick my tongue back in my mouth. Thousands of women cannot be wrong. I love my job.

Excuse Me, Ma'am? Playground Edition

kim | 25 April, 2006 13:30

Excuse me, but if you just got out of a chauffered limousine and are wearing Hogan sneakers (ugly as they may be) why, oh, why do you draw your eyebrows in deep, chocolate brown and in two different cockamamie shapes. I know you are pull yourself up by the bootstraps kind of girl, but this is the one area in which you are clueless. Please, ask for help!

Bronzer is not always blush. In fact, often not blush. Especially not in this case, or at least balance it out with some color on your lips?

Finally, if you are growing it out, fine. If you are indecisive, fine. But if you are going to have a foot of black on top and a foot of bleached blonde on the bottom, swathed in Burburry, I get to call you a bitch.

Check Out

kim | 24 April, 2006 05:28

A few fun things that I have been remiss in passing along:

Jennifer Solow is a hot author whose novel, The Booster, got fabulous raves in WWD and Vogue magazine. Even better than that, she was photographed by Terry Richardson eating hot dogs and looking totally hot. I will never be hot enough for Terry Richardson to photograph, but there she was.

Coutourture is up and running! This is a collection of some of the coolest and smartest fashion blogs on the web. That Julie Fredrickson is a rising fashion minx and has been in town six months and already is the queen of the revolution. She is amazing and her partner Phil is so smart that it's sort of unbelievable.

Here is where I've been remiss: SkinMilk sent me a bunch of their body care a while back and not only does it have gorgeous packaging but it smells great and is a lightweight formulation for the spring and summer months. It's incredibly affordable and there are so many different formulations, that if you are looking for an affordable solution for your body care, or if your skin is on the more active side--as it can be in the spring and summer months, go ahead and give this a try!

The Crack Fights Back

kim | 20 April, 2006 04:40

Working early in the morning is stressful on my family. Mike and I have to juggle taking care of the kid, finding Mike waking up extra early just to get it all together for work and then playing with the kid--the kid misses me when he wakes up and I miss them both. It's really awful, although I love my work. I watch as little pieces of me are torn off and left here and there, like small "take a number" chits dispensed from supermarket waiting machines. I don't even get a turn with me. But this morning after getting ready, armed with my to-do list to do in the middle of doing makeup, I woke Mike to kiss him goodbye and it startled him to the point of dislocating his shoulder. We tried to put it back in, but could not. He's at the ermergency room right now, so I had to call in to work. Do you know what that feels like to call into your freelance job that you only have for one week and say you can't make it in at the last minute? Really, really, really bad. I have a pretty strong working-class work ethic, and I balloon with guilt when something weird happens and I'm not able to go to work, even if it's not my fault. Which I feel like it is because I spooked him. And then trying to get it back in the shoulder...I? would rather take the pain then see my men hurting. That was pretty awful.

I have a friend (hi, Robin!) who always says she doesn't know how I do it. She has a pretty balanced life. Mine is not balanced at all. Sometimes when the kilter is too off, someone in the family pays the price. It could be one of those things, or it could be an indication that we need to take a look at this whole work/family thing. I think I need to do my lipstick line and sell it on QVC, somehow that seems more practical.

Makeup Wanderlust

kim | 19 April, 2006 06:39

This morning I am sympathetic dressing. I wore the same color scheme as one of my talent and the accessories of the other, it's funny; I feel so proprietary and in love with the people whose faces I make up. ?I love the organizing principle of having a place to go every day but I don't like having to do it before the sun rises. And I certainly would not like to do it every day. Not the same place. I could have waited my turn--I've had a steady job before--stabbed people in the back, connived or just have been that good. But I love freelancing. I am not a traveller and I have a deep committment to my man but I have a working wanderlust that never goes away. For someone who has a tendency to crave intense personal connection, I like to work my work like they work the tango: short, deep spurts of great accomplishment and connection and shove off, sailor. Next?

I Before E, Except After Creme De La Mer

kim | 18 April, 2006 03:39

You know how I hate mineral oil? Here are my two product exceptions: Creme de La Mer and Rosebud Salve. What can I say? They are simply perfect products!

Open Doors at the Crack

kim | 17 April, 2006 06:58

One humiliation I've had to endure while freelancing for one of my clients has been signing in. Every time I worked at this place, at their old address and now at their new one, I've had to sign in every time. For the last 12 years, I've humped in at 4:00 in the morning not being able to swipe my ID because I don't have one. The last time I was here, it was 4:00 am, dark and the door was locked, as usual. I knocked and the security guard asked me for my ID. I didn't have one, I said. He said he couldn't let me in. We got into an argument through thick glass doors with me on the cold outside and him on the warm inside. It escalated to the point of me screaming at the top of my lungs when a homeless person started my way. As my eyeballs almost popped out of my head, someone else came to my rescue with an ID and got the door open for me. To be fair, the security guard was new and I don't know if I was in jeapordy but it sure was scary. That day I was issued an ID.

This morning I was shocked as my little magnetized pass with my name on it made the little red light green and clicked the doors open. It's been so long that I've been an outsider that I felt slightly like an intruder gliding in so easily.


kim | 13 April, 2006 02:42

I have been working non-stop. I so wish each day had 36 hours and two of those were dedicated to the gym or that the working day was shorter. I'm sure I'm not doing something right. However, I've been having so much fun. I'm finding that what really floats my boat is to work in a studio, with a photograher and models. Legit beauty work. Can you believe it? Me, who is anti-beauty industry. I just love it: the cameras, the computers, the cords that snake around the studio every so confusingly but that do have a purpose, the models with the huge appetites and rock hard abs, the air kisses, the clean makeup. Sure I get bored on set and sometimes eat too much because I'm not writing or acting. But the work is challenging, engaging, glamorous and fun. I love being around photographers, I realized. Not maybe all the photographers in the world, but their equipment. Maybe I should become a photographer. I'll add that to my list.

In beauty news, for this big job I just had I went to MAC and begged them to open early so that I could be on time for my other job that I was on my way to this weekend. I had a total Silence of the Lambs moment when I called one store that agreed to accomodate me by just a few minutes and I gave the lovely woman a long list of stuff. I pulled up to the store and rapped on the glass only to be met by a firm gentleman who told me they would open in 10 minutes. Well, I had to be at work across town in 10 minutes, and I spoke to so and so--don'tcha know I called up the wrong store and my products were laying in a heap at ta different location? In any case, here's what I got:
Studio Fix NC 42
Medium Dark Blot Powder
Face and Body C3, N4, N7 (welcome back into my kit after so many years, I hope you don't go to too much waste like the last guys, may they rest in peace)
NC20 and NC45 concealer, which I don't love the texture of but needed in a pinch
Petal Pusher (okay, that was for me--second time in two months, I ran through that so quickly because it's so beautiful with glops of it on.)
Premeditated Creme Colour ( pure, bright red, which I've always wanted. I love it)
Smoulder (okay, that was for me, too)
Glimmer Shimmer in the light pink one. I love it--I'm using it for my next bride, believe me!

Since I was doing a job that required lots of skin, I got the Jergens Shimmer Body Lotion and the Johnson's Lavender Body Lotion, mixed them together and made a beautiful subtle shimmer. So much fun! However, next day off? Monday.

My Prayer of Thanks at the End of a Work Day

kim | 10 April, 2006 04:46

Some jobs are just not fun. Even if they are fun and everything around them is fun and you're lucky to have the job in the first place and you might even get a little side work done because there is no hair person there to chew your ear to a bloody pulp and you are booked for so long, that you actually can do two other projects. You are grateful for the work and happy to do the other work. You are a lucky girl. So when the talent comes in and it's a talent you're not particularly fond of and it is pretend-nice and you are pretend-nice back and everything is fine, but two hours later it comes back and very nicely flames you because of its own self-hatred and anxiety, you maintain your sense of equilibrium despite its best efforts to throw you off. It's been a few years, you forgot what an insecure talent this talent is. And with a few years of distance under your belt, you can see why: it doesn't have much going for it despite having a relatively good job. Maybe it's a good job for the rest of the world, but in the world of this genre, it's the bottom of the heap. Maybe this person has been struggling to get out from under the heap for years. Often to no avail. Why wouldn't it complain to you about your makeup? Perhaps it feels you are partially responsible for its stasis, in a representative way. And don't you remember that's how it is?

So at the end of the day I can truly thank the heavens above for, when someone yells, "and we're rolling!" that my phone didn't go off, that my tummy didn't grumble too loud, that I didn't have a tourrettic moment of cursing it and its insecurities out. I just sat there like a lady until we were done and said thank you and good night when we were done. And it was only because a little bit of grace was bestowed upon me.

Thank Heavens for Beyonce!

kim | 09 April, 2006 01:29

Tonight I made the mistake of watching "Farenheit 9/11" and then flipping over to my favorite: "Requiem for a Dream." After feeling nauseated, stiffled, silenced and put through the ringer I turned on a 2 hour special that highlighted Beyonce. She sure is purty. Her aura is filled with a golden pinkness not unlike a fairy angel of forgetting all of the brutality in the world. That girl is always turned out. And thank goodness we can rely on her. Her beauty is, in fact, serving a real an humanitarian purpose of distraction. Thank you to her and Mally Roncal, her amazing makeup artist. And to Billy B. who was with her in the early years.

Time To Get Serious

kim | 08 April, 2006 21:55

Did you ever see Pumping Iron? It has cult status in our home. It's a mezmerizing documentary about the body builders in Iforgetwherebeach, California in the late 1970's, most notably Arnold Schwarzenegger. You might think, because he rocks that fake Austrian accent (yes, come on, it's fake by now) that he's dumb, but if you see the film, you will meet an entirely different man--one of incredible mental and physical self possession and masterful grand schemes of manipulation. One of my favorite parts of the film is when he talks about what working out means to him. Since I am officially going to accept an advertiser here, I will not tell you, but that scene is worth the price of the rental. Our other favorite part--and by our I mean me and Mike's, because why else would I ever have come across this film--is when he coaches his friend/competitor through about a billion pumps of some kind of iron, and the guy is all jello, he's sucking wind and he's about to collapse and Arnold says, "Ohkay, now it's dime to ged seeeriouz." And I think, if that guy can push himself to his ourter limits with a smile on his face to reach his goals, despite the inherent pain, so can I.

Never thought Arnold would inspire me, but there it is!

Holy Spring

kim | 07 April, 2006 13:39

This morning I went to a Farmer's Market? for purposes I will reveal at a later time and I took a bunch of pictures. What is happier and holier than the flowers of spring? We turn to the colors and the fragrance because they are so uplifiting from the earthbound place we have lived for the last several months. They represent hope and possibility and joy. It's not mysterious that Easter and Passover are around this time, they hold tales and rituals of renewal. It's all very exciting despite the drabness that is today, there are tulips illuminating our sense of hope and directing us across the street to Sephora where we may be inspired to pick up any number of pink lip glosses. I guess I will speak for myself.

In product news, I bought some propolis skin cream today from a honey bee stand and I bought some Egyptian Calendula & Blood Orange cleanser by Pangea Organics because the Alba was breaking me out and the Crabtree and Evelyn was drying me out. Can I just have some natural soap, dagnammit? I will keep you informed.

Great Day!

kim | 06 April, 2006 19:30

Being a devoted, mostly full-time mother and and also someone who has the need to express herself creatively and also someone who needs to earn some bread for her child's preschool is confusing, frustrating, confounding and boring to anyone who doesn't have a kid. I never knew what motherhood was going to give to me and what it was going to take from me. I have had professional friends who have completely misunderstood or not cared about my struggle in the last two years to get back to my career or not. Today I felt like I was back at work. Like there was a cosmic "Welcome Back" sign draped across the threshold of the doorway of the studio I worked in today.

There was potential for disater, as there always is, but I worked with the nicest production company--literally--as well as a camera guy who is an old colleague and he's a doll, a sweet client, wonderful actors and real people. Today I got so many presents from the universe: paid handsomely and promptly, a free clipper, a hat, a tshirt and a full bag of product. As well as great relationships formed and old ones renewed beautifully. I did eat some salami, however. But it was all in fun.

Today I am one lucky makeup artist. I will tell you about the funny later. I'm reveling in my good luck.

Walls: Tearing Down and Building New Structures

kim | 05 April, 2006 20:31

It's a big, vast beauty world. Do I ignore everything that's out there in order to stick to my agenda, or do I investigate arenas that I might not neccesarily agree with so that I can get a bigger vision and perhaps a few perks? I will tell you one thing: I am about to accept a big partnership and there will be ads on my blog. I am not going to change my content in any way whatsoever. This is? a website that does not really use profanity and there is absolutely no explicit sexuality at all. Twice I maybe said the F word and sometimes I say ass, but I will never, ever say see you next Tuesday. Unless you are my good friend and I will use that word every other sentence, hyphenated with bag, because that's how I roll. I've got a filthy mouth certainly more now because I speak in googly talk all the time. In any case, that will not change on the blog. If you want profanity done right, visit Dooce. She does it, as Mike would say, with relish. I will not advertise, I promise, if you people will start sending me money, or if you sign up for my e-makeover. Otherwise, I'm signing the contract.

In other beauty news, did you see Katie's farewell speech today? It was touching, but her lips were flapping and I was singing John Cougar Mellencamp's, when the walls...come tumbling, tumbling...dooooowwwn! I work in television. Everybody is always insecure. Freelancing is such a polite world. You have to be polite in order to keep your job that you might not have by tomorrow. Now, I certainly don't know anything because who knows if I even ever worked at NBC or ABC or CBS for that matter? But just suppose I had? Might I now be thinking, hmmm...I wonder who is going with Katie? Is anyone? Is half the team, the whole team? Is Meredith bringing her crew? Is there anyone she has wanted to cut off for years but could not? Hair and makeup is a limited, but intense battle for everyone. And who knows if Meredith shares her makeup or hair or wardrobe with the other women, will she be pinching them from her current show to go to her new show? Will someone be moving up as a result? Who is worried? Who is smug? Who is plotting and scheming? Who is spinning around and around trying, in vain, to pull the knife out from between her shoulder blades?

We will never know. Or will we?

Stick with me, kids. I just might take you places.

Wouldn't it be, well, tragic, if we woke up and it really wasn't Meredith at all but Natalie Morales or Campbell Brown sitting in the chair on Memorial Day and someone was cheated out of a job? Perhaps this is the way networks work? I hope nobody gets hurt in the process and they all land on their claws, er, feet.


kim | 04 April, 2006 19:49

Here's the question: would you rather know whose makeup I do with no funny stories whatsoever? No irony, no sarcasm, no golden nuggets of truth that speak of the human condition as reflected in lip gloss? Do you just want me to name drop? Would that be good for my career? It wouldn't be good for either of us! Can't you just trust that I am doing the makeup of the hot shots of the world? That I work with all of the famous people who are, by turns, lovely and disgusting, just as we all are? Because if you want that, then we have to re-think this whole thing. You know? By the same token, you must know that I'm in it, in the trenches with all the psychos and the divas and the bitches and the horny old men who are way past their prime.

And with that, I must declare that I am an expert, I work with real celebrities, and you're just going to have to take my word for it. Or we can switch it all around, baby.

I Would Not Be Telling You This if It Weren't My Dear Friend Johnny

kim | 03 April, 2006 21:34

When I worked at Saks, there was a guy named Johnny Burnais who worked at a counter I frequented often when choosing makeup for my clientele. How do you spell that? I loved Johnny because he was hysterically funny and a great artist. We knew a few people in common and we always had alot to laugh about. Still do. Now he is the Trainer at Barney's at the YSL cosmetics counter and they are? having this event this weekend, April 6-8. YSL's fancy National Artist is coming in and you can book an appointment with him. If you spend $150, you get this fabulous clutch and some other stuff. Johnny tells me that the body shimmer is out of this world (and he is a man of integrity and great taste) so this is a bone for you product junkies I always leave hanging. Happy spring!

The Powder Groups Make Up Show Is Coming!

kim | 03 April, 2006 09:38

So exciting! It's only for professionals, but the Powder Group is having their first ever trade show for beauty operators May 14th and 15th. The one who I love, Billy B, will be there offering a free seminar in addition to other lumniaries. There will be a bunch of companies there as well. This event promises to be the ultimate "melange of cosmetic royalty". Oh, My, Lord, get out the nail file! I can't wait to sit center row for that cat fight. Joking! This event is the non-cheesy clearinghouse we have all been looking for. Check out the www.themakeupshow.com. I cannot WAIT!


kim | 31 March, 2006 15:46

We got through March, clean ones! I, myself, have not been perfect but am reinvigorated and for the first time worked out after work this morning. That's work at 6:00 am, and work out at 10:45 am. Not bad. I'm losing a bit and I'm feeling clearer and most importantly, my body is getting stronger and healthier.

I worked the last three days of the week, had a blast each time, and next week is going to be great, too. I love the blue sky and the warm weather. The slight gray cast does bother me, but I will worry about that in two years when we're living on the set of Soilent Green. Just so you know, I will never, ever eat people. I will just make them slightly more beautiful.

Happy Spring!

Casting Call For Ladies with Primping Problems

kim | 30 March, 2006 06:45

I've been remiss in not sending out this casting net for those of you who spend waaayy too much time getting ready. If you're committed to that sort of thing, I can not help you. But CBS is doing a segment on people like you and would like to feature you. It's also a plus if your partner finds it baffling, frustrating and/or annoying. Please email me and I will send the producer along your information! Hey, if it's already a problem, why not get some help?

I've been trying to help you here, but being on tv might be fun!


kim | 29 March, 2006 22:07

Today I helped my dear friend, Gianna, do her headshot. She is so cute and pretty, is she not?

We had such a nice day together. See her so happy as we emerge from the shoot:

She emerged with some great headshots, too! I mean, from the real photographer.

Non-Toxic Avenger: Self Absorption

kim | 28 March, 2006 13:49

Okay, here's the deal: stop worrying about yourself. When you're talking to someone, listen to them. Stop talking about yourself. Pick a cause and do something about it. When you're walking down the street, feel your feet and notice the signs. This will eliminate all manner of mental clutter in your head. And mental clutter in your head can be very toxic. Also, treat others the way you would like to be treated, don't take, give. Unless you are a person who endlessly gives to others, then take some back for yourself. But you might be a person who takes and takes and when someone else asks for something, then you act like you never stop giving. But it's really you who never stops taking. But I digress. Those are just the crazies, and I know you are not the crazies.

Today a face painter emailed me and wow is she talented! I will never be that talented, but I'm glad someone is! I can get "inspiration" from her designs (read: steal) the next time I do some face painting! She doesn't live in New York, so she's no competition for me (hee hee) but she's awesome. Check her out.

In other funny news, Beauty Addict makes quite a salient point about the state of Allure, our monthly bible. Which I would not know about because I have not had time to open it yet. I've not been self-absorbed, I've been kid-absorbed.


kim | 24 March, 2006 13:54

<a href="http://technorati.com/claim/w3wk5mvar4">Technorati Profile</a>

Non-Toxic Avenger: What About the French?

kim | 24 March, 2006 09:09

Last night I went to a cocktail party in one of the most posh apartments in the world. Statistically, I mean. There were many bread, cheese and tomato-based dishes. I, myself, brought home made bruscetta (my pronunciation for which was corrected) with roasted garlic smeared on the bread rather than raw garlic. There was blue cheese, parmesan, brie, baked brie with pesto and pignoli nuts, gouda, I think but I didn't eat any, and a few soft cheeses but I didn't even get around to them and...brasole. Is that how you spell it? And then the host mentioned that book by M. Montignac and it really sounds so convincing.She also said that our foods have more processed junk in them and therefore that settles in the saddlebags. One of the commenters about the book does mention that the French also smoke a whole bunch and that accounts for their calorie intake, but I really think it must be something else.

On my, about, 10th job I went to St. Maarten for a job. I think I mentioned this before. My job was to apply sunscreen and make sure the hair was okay for Jason Lewis and Mark Vanderloo. Jason Lewis is as gorgeous as they come and he will melt you if you are in his presence. That week I hardly worked. I ate fish and salad at every meal except breakfast which was filled with breads and I ate bread at every lunch and dinner as well as dessert at dinner. I lost 10 lbs. in one week. No joke. As soon as I came back home, I bulked up. I think I really need to incorporate food combining and that Glycemic Index stuff into my life. At least it will afford me just a dollop more of cheese.

Always a Mention, Never a Feature

kim | 23 March, 2006 17:50

How can I not be happy for the beautiful Kristin? Her blog is beautiful, clear, well written, cute and filled with great info and personality. And I know it's a blessing to be in the New York Times, I'm grateful for that. At least for the last article I was the last two paragraphs. I guess it's better to be hidden in half a sentence than not at all! My average hits this month are at 4,300, so to all you loyal readers: I adore you and I really appreciate you coming back every day.

You might be interested to know that I went to Eve salon today and saw Maya and had my moustachio zapped. This will make it much easier to photograph myself, which I am planning to do very soon. Maya did not lie: she said, very seriously and looking directly in my eye with a firm apology, this is going to be painful. Holy shit, was she right. I just had two teeth extracted. I gave birth naturally although induced by pitocin and with the aid of a vacuum. Last summer was the summer of the root canal. But this hurt like a motherfucker. I guess I have double the amount of nerve endings everywhere in my body, especially around my mouth, where there is so much work to be done. Sadly. But she was nice and it was only 10 minutes. The problem with electrolysis is that it never stops hurting, it just gets worse. The pain builds on itself and clusters. Next time I will use Emla cream, which we used on the kid right before his circimsicion. Which, I can assure you, on so many levels was so much worse. Especially since the mohel made me look. I vowed I was not going to change his diaper for the next week, but it was only me and him, so I was out of luck.

Hydrocortisone cream is supposed to help and has. And although I walked into the Magnolia Bake shop, I did not eat anything. Woo hoo for the Non-Toxic Avenger!

I also met Cynthia Rowley today in her shop. She is incredibly beautiful and svelte. I looked good in a few of her dresses, although the boob part is always a problem, which I was happy about but I'm still not in shape enough for a silk jersey dress. She complimented me on my eyebrows and I complimented her on her empire. Then I went on my way.

As I will now.

Non-Toxic Avenger: Passive Eating

kim | 20 March, 2006 08:57

Yesterday I was reading a portion of David Kirsch's 14 day thing which sounds great and I'm sure it works wonders but eating that much protein is not sustainable for me and if I was going out for a movie role, maybe, but for now I'm going to try to stick on the organic pescatarian-ish side of things. But he brought up the idea of passive eating (eating the junk the people who are around you eat) as well as rewarding yourself with food. Both of which I do. Poor Mike, he can't eat in peace, I'm always circling, cawing like a vulture. Then there's the rewarding. That's a long story, but let's just say that's something I've done for a long time. So now I know better. What is my reward, then? I'm thinking of a pair of jeans with a crisp, white collared shirt over which a small, light blue cardigan with pastel, spring flower colored embellishments on the upper part of that. Fitted and not lumpy. Maybe in a month I will fit into that. It's my goal. I'm meeting with an old friend this week who is a personal shopper for clothing and we're going to perhaps team up. I'm going to persuade her to outfit me in a few things but I will not look good in my outfits with misshappen bulges sticing out where they do not belong. If I can cut out passive eating and reward eating I will surely be in better shape.

I've not talked about products in a while. My customarily oily skin is so dry now that my large pores are now flat and arranging themselves around my cheeks as a series of dash marks. My nose looks like a perforated sun. So I went to the health food store and got the Alba milky cleanser and the Alba moisturizer which I am supplementing with rosewater and glycerine spray. I'm going to finish up my Keihl's Creme Imperial Reperatuer Eye Cream and then I'm going to buy some more because the base is beeswax and I don't seem to be getting white bumpies on my eyes from it and it seems to be quelling the tissue paper effect the dry heat in this apartment is having on my eyes not to mention ageing. So far I'm not getting that far so if in a week it's not working, I will switch cleansers. I think there's a little bit of fruit acid in the cleanser.

Today I am going to work on a big chunk of the one woman show and then I will exercise and then I will play with the kid. That is my dream day, so I don't think that's too toxic!

Why It's Murder Going To Movies With Me

kim | 19 March, 2006 08:08

Last night my mother was gracious enough to watch the kid while Mike and I went to the movies. We saw Capote, which we loved and although I didn't see all the Oscar nominated films this year, Phillip Seymour Hoffman showed such restraint in his characterization of such a flamboyant guy in such a naturalistic setting that seeing him work made me breathless. His work was not only amazing but it also put this one? head and shoulders over his other performances. It was truly a masterful acheivement. The photography, the set design, the costuming, the locations, the Chris Cooper, the Katherine Keener, the books, the parties in dark but glamorous places, the overhang of intellectual ether, all amazing and made me want to shut off the tv forever. At least until the next Project Runway (would Truman watch it?)? But here's the thing - there was dirt under his fingernails thoughout a quarter of the movie. Such an impeccable queen who bought scarves at Bergdorf Goodman would never have been so unaware of his grooming. Alchoholism or no. And I want ask you this question: while women gain weight for roles--and I'm sure he had to work hard to lose the weight he did lose (bravo to him)--would there ever be a role for a woman wherein she could lose a little weight and wardroble would cheat the clothes size up? Would we ever make the mental adjustment to accept an actress who was bigger than her historical equivalent in a role in order to garner the perfect Oscar performance? I haven't seen it yet.? But that does not mean you should not see this movie. You probably already did. It's kind of slow around here in the entertainment arena.

Carnivale of Couture: Celebrity Swap

kim | 17 March, 2006 12:47

Shoelover asks: whose life would I choose if I could swap lives with a celebrity?

My answer? Forgive me: Madonna. Yes, Madonna.

Here's a woman with limited talents who figured out a way to make herself the most commercial artist of the 20th century. She always gets the best clothes. For years before anyone starting getting obsessed with clothes, shoes, hair, she was the standard-bearer for what was cool. Her body is unbelievably in shape--I don't know if I would want that or not, but to have the choice? Oh, merciful heavens, bring it on! She gets to be an okay singer, a terrible actress and an incredibly adept dancer and do her art. As long as she looks hot, we eat it up like pancakes. Then she got to be all slutty with our permission and she never seemed to have gotten anything and now she has two beautiful kids and a sexy husband. Spiritually at least she thinks she's doing something good, so at least she's trying--misguided though it may be. You cannot be as powerful as she is without having stepped on a bunch of people in the process, so maybe I could bring an element of kindness into her life.? But the work ethic, the drive, the self worth (maybe not what drives it, but the expectation that she will get nothing less than the best), the making millions at performing, the clothes, the hair, the makeup, the art, the exercise, the organic diet and everything else? Yes, please. Just for a week. And only if I could take Mike and the kid.

Non-Toxic Avenger: Exercise

kim | 17 March, 2006 11:34

You know what I need? One hour and a half of exercise, five days a week. I'm really not sure how to arrange that with my schedule, but here I am today having had done that. It never feels like enough, frankly. I'm still 15 pregancy lbs. heavier and it's so frustrating. I know thin people who are flabby and complain about as much, but I need to exercise. If you saw pictures of my great grandmother, you would understand. The woman was huge. Just enormous. The kind of things where breasts are replaced by a shelf, a palisade, if you will, of jutting flesh upon which a cotton garment falls straight and earthbound down to the ankles. The dresses have large pockets, large white collars and large buttons. This is what I'm fighting against. That and an inexplicable drive to shove as many danish in my danish hole when I work at 4:00 am. I know alot of chubby makeup artists. But I also know some that are not chubby and the talent gets up at that time and they are skinny. So I know it's my problem, but it's not yet solved. Today I tried to make up for it by exercising, but that, at it's heart, is exercise bulimia. Don't consider me a bulimic, though, I would be if I really did exert myself that much and my exertions do not yet qualify me. For the first time in my life I am enjoying exercise. How that happened, I'm really not sure. I used to love Bikram when I went but that was a huge commitment in the amount of garments one needs to? shlep around alone. And I didn't really lose weight. And it kind of smelled bad. But I do love to sweat that much. And then there were the step classes I took twelve years ago to get off the quitting smoking weight. Those were fun. And I love dance but I'm not near a studio and time is my major problem. So I'm now embracing the gym, missing it when I can't go and just loving every minute of it. I never thought this day would come and I'm so grateful for the shift.

I spoke to someone at the lung cancer study and she said I'm not in a high risk group but since I'm having trouble breathing maybe I should see a pulmonologist. I will do that, after getting my ass in shape for six solid months. If I still can't breathe by then, I will know I've done everything I can. I'm taking responsibility for my body on a new level so that I can prove that right living can replace artificial means of altering one's appearance; but it will be nice if I can breathe a little better, too.?

Non-Toxic Avenger: Check-Up and Get Your Glasses Fixed

kim | 15 March, 2006 20:56

Today I went to the doctor. The doctors. First off to the one of the ladies' doctor who told me not to worry about that thing but still we're scheduling a mammogram. Have you had one? They take about three days from which to recover, honestly. Then it was off to the new dentist in whose chair I cried before the shot and was perfectly normal after the shot. In between appointments, I actually had my ring detoxed: I took it for a tune up whereupon I had the baguettes tightened by a non-verbal man by the name of Chicco. It was buffed and steamed and before I was dismissed, I was summarily hit on by my guide down the stairs of the bowels of 47th street. Am I married? Yes, you just helped me spiff up my engagement ring, you gross moron. And if I was not married, would that mean that you would lay claim to me? Ugga bugga, said the caveman. In any case.

I found out that dental work is pretty much the same with any dentist: horrible. The difference is the finishing. I have a dispute with my former dentist because I simply did not go back to her, I cancelled at the last minute. I cancelled at the last minute for so many reasons, not the least of which was that she was a terrible dentist, but my screw up nonetheless. Now she's making me pay $750 for the missed appointment and the one I got sick at the week before. I really almost threw up in her chair. I won't go into it now but it was my fault for not sticking up for myself, so now I am paying the price. The good thing is that I am now officially rid of all the screwed up chicks in my life.

I keep thinking that I am going to make this a separate entry, but it keeps making its way here. But I will tell you this: when you talk to someone and your stomach knots up: dump them. Move slowly away or run away, but get yourself away. Everybody comes with a pair of glasses through which they see the world. You may think at first blush that you are on the same wavelength, i.e. beware the chick who starts sentences with, "My therapist says..." before you really know her. She needs a therapist, believe me, but take your time to get to know people, to see what kind of glasses they have on. I welcome all with an open heart but I also am now listening to the still, small voice who says, "wow! That was selfish and one-sided and bullying!" whereas I used to make excuses to myself for other people. For some bizarre reason. I find you can't always see or know what people's glasses look like until you know them for some time, and it's usally at a crisis point, like a friend of mine who has difficulty with a family member and was dumped by her long-time friends for being "selfish." Yuck.

So today I cleaned out alot. I also got the number for chest screening because I am a former smoker (of 13 years) and with the Dana Reeve thing. You know. I'm getting a check up altogether.

For the most part I stuck to the Detox Diet, with a little break for some chocolate therapy. It was a hard day and I deserved a little treat. You shouldn't be Non-Toxic and miserable.

Danny's Song

kim | 14 March, 2006 15:22

On Sunday I did one bridal test and one private client. It was raining and I had to shlep my kit throughout the stores we shlepped through in order to get all of her makeup. To be fair: she (one of my favorite private clients) shlepped half the time and I did the other. She helped me. So we went out to coffee afterwards so I could do her face charts (I never do that, but she's one of my longest standing clients) and Danny's Song came on. You know, "Even though we ain't got money/I'm so in love with you honey/Everything will bring a chain of lo-oo-oove...and I almost cried realizing that a song like that could never be written today. What has happened to our world? Please, somebody, tell me.

Non-Toxic Avenger: Water

kim | 14 March, 2006 14:08

Water fills the most? basic and essential need; but is a very confusing topic. Is the water safe to drink in New York City? It depends who you are. Nutty health fanatics, who I will not name here because it's not nice to call people names, think that the city's water is teeming with parasites, heavy metals and--gasp--fluoride which will kill you upon contact with the moist, semi-permeable membranes of your mouth. And this person has a water filtration system to take care of those problems. I, however, am not as scared of the water as that person, but slightly concerned. It's the heat: heavy metals from water and from pipes are supposedly leached out into your welcoming open pores during those delicious hot showers delivering toxic toxins that will kill you in short order. So this is where water filtration systems come in. If I had one place to choose, I would choose the shower, frankly, because that is where we receieve the most hot water. But if you can stick one on your kitchen sink as well, it couldn't hurt. Which one? Um, I don't know, I have to look into that. The one reason why I've not gotten one is that it is very confusing. Why can't they just have a clear winner of the water purifiers like the Creme de la Mer, as it were, of water purifiers? I'm sure henri-v will have some great suggestions.

As far as drinking water, check it: we dump 18 million tons of plastic every year into landfills. Also, the average American throws out the equivalent to four lbs. of trash every day. So here's what I'm thinking--I'm going to stop using disposable bottles. I'm not getting the big water cooler for my home, and I'm just going to find the proper water filtration system and fill up refillable bottles.? This is not only my planet. I'm so embarrassed every day about what is going on here, sorry Mother Earth. It's not really all my fault, I'm just not powerful enough to stop the power of the Shadow Lord who is in control right now. What can I do? I'll just stop throwing away alot of junk.

So how much of this purified water do I need to slam down? I like to drink, I mean I enjoy drinking, about two tall bottles every day. Something in that vicinity. About.com says to divide your weight in half and drink as many ounces, women's magazines for years have said to dink eight eight ounce glasses daily and I know a woman who was told by a kidney specialist that we drink too much water and overwork our kidneys. I just know that when I'm at my least healthy I can't stand water and when I'm getting back in the groove I can't get enough. I think the rule of thumb is that your pee is supposed to be clear. Also, if you're really having an incredible craving for a sweet, a good way to test how hungry you actually are is to have a big glass of water and see if that works.

Do I have to tell you that water cleans out your system, washes away the toxins, keeps your organs functioning well and generally plumps up your cells? It's essential to life and it's essential to beauty. And, according to my friend Robin, a nasty headache is an occasional surprising indicator of dehydration. So the next time your head is going to snap off, you're having a bad break out or wanting to eat every cookie in sight, drink a little water. It just might do the trick.

Morning Work

kim | 10 March, 2006 16:50

Today I worked on one of my favorite shows. I used to work there and so seeing my old friends is just lovely. There is so much love and cameraderie when you work together at the crack of ass. And when? you are on the A list. It's nice to have the best, be around the best and do the makeup of the best. It just is. So it was going to be busy, but I didn't know how busy. There were enough guests for there to be two extra hair and two extra makeup. However, the other makeup did not show, so I had to recreate complicated makeup on five people in an hour. Well, six, I found out in the last find minutes and there was one person who was busting my chops and rolling her eyes ungodly. I would have smashed her in her mouth, except her mother was breathing down the other side of her neck. An underage unfamous diva. Good luck with that. Ahem.

So in Non Toxic News, I would like to welcome henri v into the fold! Thank you henri v for that website, it's one of my favorites and I rely on it alot. Although it has nothing against mineral oil.

Today I'm still only able to eat toast, really. I tried vegetables, but they are not sitting so well with me. So I keep trying. But the food is going to come after I'm finished being sick and I can barely walk still without cramps in my calves, so I'm going to take it easy and start exercising next week. Stretching, though, tomorrow.

On air, I forgot that people have microwaves. I don't. My husband hates that, but all of that heat-cellular transfer--I'm not into it. But henri v is right, anything that heats up with a treated surface and evaporates into the air is a bad thing. We have no-no stick stuff here and try not to use alumnium. But I think I'll go room by room addressing how we can get more non-toxic.

As for today, working and functioning in this slightly weakened state, I must say that I did what I could this morning at 4:30 when I woke up: I put my brain on properly. I expected a good experience at work and I had a fantastic one. While the melee was happening, where I used to panic, I said, "Thank God this isn't brain surgery and it's only makeup! Can you imagine if I was saving lives here?"And everybody laughed and I got my job done well.

Non-Toxic Avenger: Air

kim | 09 March, 2006 21:35

I'm feeling better and although may have jeapordized lucrative client, I don't think I've lost them forever. They love me too much. What's not to love, except all of that stinky illness...

So here I'm stuck with this mysterious" MW" who has challenged me to a scientific studies duel about mineral oil; but who will not leave his or her real name, email address or URL. Is this a legitimate person or simply a fabricated JT Leroy type of the cosmetics industry trolling blogs for the tiniest seed of dissonace against the industry? It's hard to take an anonymous challenge seriously. See, how fully I am embodying my own challenge? Pre-Non Toxic Avenger challenge I would defend myself to the hilt, but a very painful lesson of being publicly and wrongfully maligned made me realize that I love the crazies, but the crazies don't love me. And I was going to call my one woman show by that name, but I'm doing it on something much, much better than old friends who have lashed out at me. So I say verily unto thee, MW, be a mensch and show yourself for a real duel and then I will do the research. In the meanwhile, let's just say that I would prefer to apply oils that come from nuts and trees and other plant-life than crude oil. Let's just leave it at that, mkay? I don't have time to fight. You use your mineral oil and I'll use my other stuff. There will be plenty left for you!

On a note of conflict: I miss Rosebud Salve. I love the Dr. Hauschka, but I miss the Rosebud. The Rosebud was my friend, it was my love, the one true goo that kept my lips whoo hoo. Boo hoo.

On the subject of air, I am going to be equally vague because I don't have time, but if you bust my chops I will look for the studies--but don't bust my chops, the arctic fricking ridge is collapsing because we have destroyed the planet, so I'm not maing this shit up:? I read, right after I gave birth that some women were found to have 253 toxins in utero. Just in your home alone, there's not only all that dust from the sloughing off of your skin, there are? also fumes from all of those household cleaning products. Plus, many cleaning products are not biodegradable and they screw up the ecosystem after they infect your home. So here's what I've done:
I switched to Ecover household products - they are very, very inexpensive and work like a charm and you only need three or four of them.
I found out you are supposed to switch your vacuum cleaner bag every month or two. Oh. Embarrassing. At least now I know.
For the rest I use Seventh Generation.
You can even get good drain cleaner from those healthy brands.
Air out your apt. every week thoroughly, especially if you are in the home alot, there's alot of junk going on in such a confined space.
Change towels every other day.
Use only beeswax or natural candlles with natural oil scents, that goes for the natural kind of incense, too.
Do I have to tell you not to smoke? It is so 80's.
Try to meditate (taking in more air and expelling more air helps you, well, calm down and stay present - what does that have to do with air? Breathing and staying present are inextricable. I learned that on my wedding day but it's essential to all life, so I'm throwing it in).
If you have a bathroom without a window and need bathroom spray, there are non-aerosol, natural oil ones.
Try to get rid of all aerosols.

Here's what I haven't done but plan to do:
Get an air purifier.
Get one of those fancy, shmancy vacuum cleaners. What are they? Anyone?

In the words of one great man: carry on.

It's Alive!

kim | 08 March, 2006 14:43

There were two times yesterday where I thought I might die. Really, really. I didn't think I was going to make it through. But here I am back and blogging away. I'm freshly scrubbed if not a little shaky. I picked up Natalia Rose's Raw Food Detox Diet again and I'm going to look through it. I just don't see myself juicing every morning. I used to do it when I was doing the Gary Null thing which is a very serious detox and I agree with it to a point, but it relies heavily on his supplements and is very restrictive. I physically never felt better when I was doing it, but my mind was insane. Food should be fun, I think, I'm just need to get a little better acquainted with the idea of chocolate and moderation in the same room, if you know what I mean.

Anything but matoh ball soup is not even a thought for me right now, after not eating for a day, I'm still not that hungry. So the junk will be back, you can be sure of it, because I am a human being. But just not as much as before. Because I am the Non Toxic Avenger. Taking back my skin, my body and my joy one action at a time, not one product at a time. Although, thank the Lord in Heaven up above for products because I don't know what I would do without Ibuprofen. Let's get real, people.

The Strong Spirit of the Non Toxic Avenger

kim | 07 March, 2006 09:21

I guess I don't have to worry about binging on that job. Last night at 1:00 I was awakened by a little heartburn which quickly turned into illness and then about 3 hours on the floor in the bathroom where I was fiercely channeling the spirit of the Non Toxic Avenger. So weak right now. I had to call work at 3:30 and call a few other makeup artists to cover, which of course they couldn't, so I put together a bag for the DP so he could have some of his assistants do it. The exertion alone riled the Non Toxic Avenger and I ran back in to do a little more channelling. I can't walk, I can only crawl, I can't breathe, I feel sicker than I have in a long time. I thought I was going to pass out this morning and aspirate. I'm not being dramatic here, I really did. So my question is: is the Non Toxic Avenger really taking hold, and using this virus to rid me of all of my toxins or is it just ironic bad luck? I'm mos def having chicken soup today--it has antibacterial properties, but just writing this makes me sick, so I'm going to lay down now.

Keep up the good work! Eating a protenatious breakfast (or one with a tiny bit of protein, anyway) and cutting out the white stuff (except white tea) are brilliant suggestions and I am going to incorporate them. Just as soon as I can eat again.

Any prayers will be greatly appreciated.

Welcome Non-Toxic Avenger Challengers!

kim | 06 March, 2006 20:53

Welcome, welcome, ladies and gentleman! Madames et monsuiers! So excited that I'm not doing this alone. Today was fairly smashing in that I was able to keep to a mostly healthy, balanced diet filled with almond butter, quinoa tablouli,, broccoli, white tea, sprouted frigging vegetarian burritos et. al, all organic, all made by me. But most importantly, I cut through the anxiety which gives me big problems. That's a toxin we can all do without, and one that is self-generated and therefore self-controlled (with a little assistance, don't get me wrong), so that's a huge comittment on my part. And a huge triumph. At the end of the day I did have some sweets, but that's okay--it was just a small amount and I was able to put a cap on it. Not that common for me. Staying present is the best remedy.

This week, however, I have a big challenge. A job that starts at 5:30 with a long drive somewhere else, boring as the acadamy award for sound editing (but for 10 hours) and then home again. Overtired, bored and far away from home=massive doughnut consumption, even when I bring my own food. I vow to not cave in to the pressure and drink lots of water and work on my one-woman show between takes.

What is your comittment for this week to overcome a long-standing toxic habit?

Comment Spooge

kim | 06 March, 2006 12:55

Really, it's like someone with comment herpes found me and spooged all of the comment herpes all over my blog. Thousands and thousands. Obviously it's the mineral oil people. Joking!

But there was a comment left on one of the posts that my tech guy inadvertently erased because of all the spam, so I didn't mean to erase that one.

Today I am gonig to take my cue from this mom and just do a little bit of writing.

The Non-Toxic Avenger Challenge

kim | 05 March, 2006 14:02

I never recovered from having the kid. I never lost the weight and I didn't regain my healthy pre-kid habits. It's been getting me down, not to be able to fit into anything and to have to wear camoflauge clothing. What I lost is a fire in my belly for health. Ice cream tastes so much better than quinoa. Not that you would eat quinoa for dessert, but you know what I mean.

Then I started doing some beauty writing and I got re-invigorated. I forgot what dreck is in most stuff we put on our bodies. In the air, in our water, in our food. For me, it's has to be political for it to make sense. I quit smoking 2-1/2 packs a day of Marlboros after 13 years of smoking by reciting the statistics to myself endlessly (heart disease is the biggest killer of women in the United States, smoking kills more than all of the top diseases put together, blah, blah) but it was the image I set up for myself of some rich Repulican Old Boy, ushering his wife or mistress on to their helicopter during their vacation that got me. I saw her clothing closet, all those white shoes with yellow print and gold thread throughout that really got my goat. I was getting cancer and heart disease and she was getting tacky clothing and helmut hair on my time. Would she ever thank me?

The cosmetics industry is largely a self-regulating one. It's sort of like putting the 14 year-olds in charge of the 9 year-olds and letting them do whatever they want behind closed doors. Is that really a good idea. We want makeup because foxy starlets look good in it and we want to, too. We trust our governing agencies, but should we? In the case of vaccines, there are scientists who approve vaccines who also sit on the boards of the same pharmaceutical companies. Is it like that with cosmetics and skin care? I don't know, I don't have the data. But I do know that the lobby groups for the cosmetic industry are incredibly powerful. So how do you know what they do is in your self-interest and safety? You don't. And any look at capitalism should let you know you shouldn't.

So here's what I am proposing: a 30 day look at what we eat, what we breathe, what we consume and the alternatives. I am going to to my best, maybe I should say 15 days--every other day--maybe we can make it flexible for this mom who mostly moms but also works alot, too.

I welcome suggestions, RESPECTFUL debate and questions. But most of all, integrity. If you are siting a study done to prove that something isn't harmful, please also site the sponsor of the study and the conditions under which it was conducted. Statistics and science are easily manipulated, so let's be scientific and thorough about our claims. I am going to side with the non-chemical side, just so you know my starting position.

Tomorrow, we will look at air. But tonight, smoke, drink and be merry. It is Oscar night and there should be much debauching before we start our serious work.

You Do Not Look Like This

kim | 02 March, 2006 17:03

Even though, believe me, the way you girls act, and all the crap you buy, you think it.

You also don't, and shouldn't ever (unless you are her) look like this person.

Sometimes people who look like the latter even feel like they look like the former. They do not. Women are inherently beautiful and your life, your spirit, your work, who you are in the world also makes you beautiful. So if nobody told you today, you do not look like Nick Nolte. Even in comparison to Gwyneth Paltrow. I promise.

Why I Make A Good/Bad Beauty Writer

kim | 01 March, 2006 21:16

Ladies, gather around and listen closely: there is nothing new under the sun. The big man said that a while ago but it remains true, especially in the area of cosmetics and skin care. Don't get me wrong: there is more crap to be had every day. I have the greatest idea for a lipsitck/lipgloss line but I grapple with putting it out firstly because I don't know if I want to pollute the planet with more dreck and secondly I just don't want to be bothered with such a low-margin business proposition. You need to sell alot of those tiny things to see a profit. Hard work. Smart work for the entrepeneur? I'm not convinced.

Not really my point. My point is that I refuse to get caught up in the melee of what is the frothy excitement of what's "new!!!" What's not new is that we spend up to $8 billion a year on cosmetics. Do you own property? Do you own investments that will increase your wealth? Make up has genres just like religious paintings and theater that are rotated every two to three years. Mix up the light eye, light mouth, dark eye, dark mouth. Check. Add one innovative item to get everyone going: Touche Eclat, check, Spice Pencil, check, Shimmer Brick, check. Do you know what's so great about the new skin care offerings? Fruit acids, retinyl palmitate and other things you should not use around your eye. If you want to put stuff on your face that is going to increase your chances of skin cancer because you are exposing the lower layers before their time in an era where we have no ozone layer, then fine with me. But don't come crying to me when you get all wrinkly and don't know why. This is why I'm a bad beauty writer. I don't believe in products. They are all so similar these days. I believe in right living and personal responsibility.

My skin looks like crap right now. I just had the oral surgery, finished the antibiotics, have been eating crap and not been exercizing. I started using some prodcuts with those acids in them and now it's pimply and wrinkly. So sad. I take personal responsibility for my back fat. I will get back to the gym. I will not get lipo.

I am a good beauty writer because I am funny and I want to encourage you all right now to go in the mirror and focus on the part that you love. Please. I don't care if it's your beauty mark or the fact that you finally got rid of that lip hair. Just stop criticizing and start the loving. I'm not here to sell you things, even though you really, really want to buy things. I'm here to tell you maybe you have what you need, except you obviously need a new concealer, and to encourage you to build your wealth. Not your drawer full of stuff you'll only use once in a while. That will make you poor.

I want to start a revolution of building personal wealth for women, to divert them from ogling tchotckes and start ogling some self worth, even though it doesn't come in an oversized white Gucci bag. That's a nice accompaniment once you've acquired the wealth.

What's Bad About Mineral Oil?

kim | 01 March, 2006 09:07

Question posed by Smashingly Fabulous.

Hi Smashingly, you are fabulous. Mineral oil is the run off gook that comes from processing crude oil, if I'm not mistaken, the golden liquid we put in our cars and heaters. So, ahem, the run off from that. This stuff not only is chock full of toxins, it also is like a liquid plastic bag when you apply it to your skin, keeping those and as well as? your own personal toxins in and not letting the skin breath. And it's actually cheaper to purchase and put in products than it is to properly dispose of. Politically, it's a way to support the whole oil industry, which if you haven't noticed might be at the basis of a small, tiny,? little disagreement we started with another country. So there's that, too.

That being said, there has never been a finer moisturizer than Creme de la Mer. Over time I have found that I benefitted from switching out and switching back again, I love the Creme, but not maybe for the rest of my life. The broth, it's a gooood.

I Love Pink

kim | 28 February, 2006 16:05

I love Pink. Yes, any pink lip gloss that I can get my hands on, I'm a complete sucker for them. I am powerless to stop it, my record has skipped on 1979 where my lips are concerned. I am a perpetual disco queen.. It's an illness. But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about Alecia Moore, the bad ass singer. Do I like pop music? Did I not just tell you I was a disco queen? You have to admit, Pink's music is fun to bop around to and her videos always look good. And she has an awesome voice. Her new video is great. It's no Mark Romanek thing, but finally there is someone on MTV with an image of a young woman as President. Can Pink claim to be so utched by all of this degrading booty grinding since she co-starred in Lady Marmalade, ode to a hooker who got off the streets? Yeah, why not? Hookers are people, too, and they are in the trenches muddling out all of those questions about feminism and power and meaning and the Phallocentry--literally and theoretically.

?I remember when the Madonna's Express Yourself video came out I was in Arizona to have a reunion with my father who abandoned me at age 9. Five out of the seven nights I stayed with him, he was over at his girlfriend's house while I babysat for my newly acquired half-sister. She was eight and when Madonna grabbed her crotch, she said, "I don't think she should do that." I was shocked and disgusted in front of my sister, but I was totally engergized as a twenty-one year old. I can't imagine what little girls have to contend with today. I am not in touch with my father for obvious reasons (it got so much worse). But I wonder what happened to her in this sex-obsessed culture. Her mother died before I met them all, and she only had this crazy guy navigating her through the minefeild of the MTV culture. I wonder if she prizes Political Science over piercings or Law over body waxing. I doubt it.

Someone needs to be a role model and believe me, these kids would not listen to Andrea Dworkin if they were speaking to them. They need some hot little singer to speak to them in their own language.

If I have a daughter next, I am either going to destroy all media from my house, or hire Pink to come over and give her a good talking to.

Before You Buy That Next Lipstick

kim | 27 February, 2006 15:24

Ask yourself: how many of these lipsticks in this color do I have. Are all my credit card payments up to date? Do I owe anyone money? Will this improve my life, or will looking into an investment instrument?

If you have answered all of those questions satisfactorily, then please proceed to MAC and get the two pink lip glosses. Holy pink sparkly lip gloss, Batman. You are such a sucker.

Carnivale de Couture - a la Verbal Croquis

kim | 27 February, 2006 11:41

Verbal Croquis askes If I could meet anyone alive or not alive in the beauty biz, I tell you, I would do it this way:

I would want a few hours with the first master, Way Bandy so he could beat my face. Then I would want the master of our time, Kevyn Aucoin, to take whatever Way did, and bring it to the next level. We would all agree on what the best look was for me. Then I would get the best hair cut of my life from John Sahag. And then I would go with my best friend, I'm not joking here, to a Led Zepplin concert where I would hang out with Robert Plant in 1972. If you know what I mean. The next day I would take Meryl Streep for brunch at the Four Seasons--why not--and we would have a long chat.

Spring Fashion

kim | 25 February, 2006 09:33

I just had oral surgery which was quite brief and relatively painless as far as these things go. If you need a good dental anything, I'm your go-to girl, I have the best people. My friend Robin took me there and back and also brought me a bunch of recent Bazaar magainzes. I have recently been looking at fahion in a new way, that is to say, looking, and two things are striking me these days is how inaccessible fashion has become but at the same time how stunning this Spring season is. Have you seen the Lanvin and Balenciaga accessories? Wow, they are gorgeous. I want one of those huge belts. But first I need the waist for it, so after I'm able to get up off my side, I'm going back to the gym. So psyched.

My Spotlight on Doryn's Dish!

kim | 21 February, 2006 18:04

I think tomorrow I am being featured on Doryn's Dish. Hopefully you will see more than my elbow and the side of my nose. There's actually? plenty of me after all. Lately, there's alot to love.

That Was My Back

kim | 20 February, 2006 13:44

If you watched Good Day New York this morning, that was my back and my elbow and my nose--not on my Mariah side. Oh, well. At least Lyss looked great. That's all that matters. Anyway, I'm offering special eyebrow packages and now eyebrow parties, so email me at kim@iamprettynyc.com if you are interested.

Then it was off to Saks where I helped my favorite e-makeover client shop in person. Oh, we had the funnest time! And the Bobbi Brown Pale Pink Lip and Cheek thing? I'm so getting that. You might want it, too. But it's very bubble gummy so be forewarned.

Carnivale of Couture

kim | 18 February, 2006 21:18

The fabulous women of I Am Fashion have posed the question what would you do if you won $10m dollars.

Susie pointed out that after taxes, it would be about 6.5. Being a realist and a resident of New York State, I'll go with that.

First, I'd buy one of these and be done with it. Then I'd buy my mom one near by. Total cost $4m.

Then I'd put $1m away for the kid's education and if he ever gets a sibling, that one, too. I have $1.5 left. I would take a tiny portion of that and get the kid a Thomas table and an indoor climbing gym.

First I would go here and start anew. Can't find the prices, but with the special wrap and massage packages so let's say with air fare it's $4,000 for the week plus the treatments and $2,000 round trip for the plane. Then I would hop on a plane to Italy and travel around to Lake Cuomo, and that part that's the sunny part that I can't think of right now. Then maybe Capri. Then I would go here for a spa treatment and I would do the Spa Treatment for women. Only about $800 American dollars. Go to Florence for a little shopping and saying hello to the Artemesia Gentileschis which I missed on my honeymoon and those other guys in the Uffizi and then I would hop on a plane to Greece. First to see the statuary, then island hop. What do you think? Would $50,000 be enough to stay in the nice places, purchase trinkets and ship everything home and fly in style? Let's say for three weeks. Perhaps some jaunts to Paris and London for the basics and we're up to another $50,000. Why not? That's only $100,000, total.

All that to say I would take care of my insides and the outsides would take care of themselves. But just in case, I think I would try Serge Normant or Garren because John Sahag is no longer with the firm and he's who I would have really liked to do my hair. Then I would purchase half of the Nars Collection, some pieces from Fresh, a bunch of Too Faced, all of Delux Beauty, every last Armani mascara and their lipglosses and #2 translucent powder and 5.5 foundation. Every lipstick, blush, lip gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, lip liner, pigment, sparkle, shimmer and otherwise anything else besides foundation or powder product from MAC, likewise from Laura Mercier, the shimmer products from Bobbi Brown--all the bricks, the eyeshadows, all the lip glosses and the tubey mascara. Pout, Pop, Stephane Marais, Sonia Kashuk, All of Stila--every last bit of it and Scott Barnes, too. All of the Hermes fragrances and the remainder of the Armani Prive fragrances (I have number 4). Amazing and Dior concealers. Revive throat cream, the entire Decleor line for my skin type, Kerastasse and MOP hair products and...Creme de la Mer? Mmmm...no. It has mineral oil and I am against it. Although Creme de la Mer works better than anything you will ever put on your skin, ever. It is so worth it. All of Urban Decay. Glitter pencils from Hard Candy. Creme Liners from Smashbox. All the shimmer powders from Becca.All of the lipsticks and a few of the blushes and all of the eyeshadows and some of the lipsticks from Cargo. Every Sephora lipstick, lip gloss and lip liner. All of their sparkles and all of their eyeliners. A few of their cases and brushes. I don't wear nail polish. Too toxic, the remover is, I mean. All the Shu Uemura eyeshadows, blushes and brushes. A Shu Case( make up box). Vinnie Longo, the whole line. All the Tarte cheek things and all the duo glosses and some of the colored lip balms and all of the sparkle powders. Kevyn--the whole line, just for respect and trying to figure out what went on in that mind. Did I miss anyone? I don't want lip fusion, hylexine, any of that bullshit. Total cost, $200,000. Don't you think?

Then, I'd get this for Mike and a season ticket and plane tickets to this. $50,000.

When I get home, I'm calling up this chick and making sure my body and skin stay healthy. I sign up for classes here and get a membership here. About $10,000 maximum, depending on how long I kept Alex on the payroll.

Then we have our charities. I think Women In Need is great and these guys are, too. I worked with someone last summer who did work with them and they are incredible. $600,000.

I would give this mom $150,000 and help her find the right full time nanny, get fluffy the extra help he needs and for a retreat so she could start her book and get the rest and regeneration she deserves.

Then I would sign up here and fall to Susan Batson's knees and would do anything she said to do.

I'd take the rest and take the Manolo to Per Se if he'd reveal his identity to me. And then we'd go on a shoe shopping spree.

TV, Yes

kim | 17 February, 2006 13:25

Just as a part of a segment on Good Day New York on Fox 5. 8:20. I will be on with the inimitable Lyss Stern. Very exciting, especially after my week of danish. Ahem.

Star Struck!

kim | 16 February, 2006 14:02

I didn't watch it last night. I ruined the meatloaf, but I know Kara Janx was voted out. We all knew she would be because she hasn't won a challenge yet. I only saw the pictures, which were 3/4, but I loved the top of her dress. Anyway, I saw her today in a food establishment with that silly danish on her head. Why the danish? Is it supposed to be retro? Anyway, I wanted to go over and hug her, gush about how much I loved the show and how beautiful she looked in real life. It was gross, I was a total groupie. But I didn't, I will worship her from afar. I might have a tv appearance on Monday morning. I will notify you. Perhaps Kara would have liked to design something for me?

How Could I Forget?

kim | 14 February, 2006 03:11

Please forgive me. I only have one kid and yesterday two jobs before 12:00. My apologies to Final Fashion who, in her tear down,? took the bold step to love Ralph Rucci Chado but had the good sense to not love Alexandre Herchcovitch's skull belts. A vital part of the Carnivale! Please read her post.

Carnivale de Couture

kim | 13 February, 2006 14:04

In honor of the Manolo, who started this whole thing in the first place, shouldn't we officially change it to Carnivale de Couture? It sounds so much better: the first two words aren't even English to begin with, it just brings the whole idea around to complete silliness. In any case, I posed the question late last week: What was your most/least favorite part/garment/party/celebrity sighting of The Week and, as a result, are you looking forward to the upcoming season with anticipation or trepidation? And here's what our fashion bloggers came up with:

The Manolo, he rose up from his sick bed to tell the tale of the Fresh Prince of Darkness.

La Retrosessuale of Shangri-Law had me splitting my sides by reminding us that we can find beauty everywhere, so eat, drink and be merry and offering gastronomic tour through New York, so we can fatten up those scrawny models now that the circus has left town.

The Bling Blog loved the earrings of the season that did not clash with the fussy and ruffled necks that were shown for Fall 2006. She has a few picks and a few pans, but issues an Oscar warning for the stylist/starlet duo that weighs themselves down with ridiculous amounts of diamonds that clash with the clothes.

Verbal Croquis loves that black is back, but would like it to be used prudently. And no leggings, please. She is concerned about copyists, lack of creativity in the name of conceptual creations and where, pray tell, are the bridal finales? Good question!

Lesley over at Fashion Tribes shows her true fashion colors by picking the tulip skirt and La Wintour as favorites and Debra Messing and somber pallettes as her least favorites. Amazing and an authentic original.

Bag Snob would like some designers to stop focusing on trend reports and start designing. Likewise, they would like other designers to stop focusing on their tv shows and just start designing. On the other hand, Bag Snob great news for Oscar de la Renta and Peter Som as well as a few other designers.

Over at the Tribunal of Good Taste would like retailers to not cave in and purchase high-waisted trousers rather than the low-waisted ones of the last several seasons; with an impressive, vigorous scrutiny of each category, including makeup!

Counterfeit Chic loves the suiting for this fall and think it's time we live more creatively inside that uniform.

Jack and Hill take a look at the seasonless issue of what you put in your clothes--your ass and wonder: do men care, as long as it's a sexy one?

Style Tribe offers a succinct, well-edited collection of her favorites and ponders how they will play out on the streets.

Pursed Lips were ever so slightly upturned at the amazing Marc Jacobs hand bags on that runway. Her post was enough to make me drool for the perfect purse!

The Jewelry Weblog snoozed through fashion week because of its lack of jewelry.

Begin Each Day As If It Were On Pupose has the most original post with a love for Elaine Stritch that I have never seen before. Or maybe since. And makes it relevant for fashion week. Now that's a feat!

Beauty Addict has extensive face-by-face beauty breakdowns.

Almost Girl is most certainly taking a well-deserved nap after her highly detailed and thoughtful posts? throughout the week. Thanks, Girl, for the incredible work!

The Carnivale is Waiting...

kim | 13 February, 2006 10:24

I'm waiting for the straggler posts and I'm?in between two?jobs this morning (started working at 4), so you can read the Carnivale?right before?your siesta, somewhere in the afternoon which is when it will be posted.

Thursday's Presentation

kim | 12 February, 2006 08:49

All the girls were beautiful.

The presentation was for spring and summer so I took for the idea from the fall of the smokey eye and the light lip but wanted to make it wearable so I used the piigments Deep Blue Green and Melon, light bronzing powder from MAC and Fine China Lipglass. The colors of the collection were teal, turquoise, white, melon, watermelon with gold and amber accents, embellishments and sparkles.

This was the sweetest, funniest girl, but she photographs so elegantly.

I couldn't do anything with this bitch, G-d don't like ugly. Just joking. These are the boobs of the stylist.

Look Ma, a Blog With Pictures!

kim | 10 February, 2006 15:07

Me and Claudia, she does awesome hair
Me and Claudia before the presentation. She does awesome hair. More later!

Carnivale de Couture #4 - FASHIONWEEK!!!

kim | 08 February, 2006 21:35

Since I am hosting the Carnivale this week, I have chosen to change the "of" to "de" in honor of the Manolo. But also, I just think it sounds better and I'm taking liberties with language on my blog. Thank you for indulging me.

I am so fortunate to host on the week when Fashion Week ends, the dust is settled and we can all make our assessments. So here is the question: What was your most/least favorite part/garment/party/celebrity sighting of The Week and, as a result, are you looking forward to the upcoming season with anticipation or trepidation? Not a small question, but you bloggers love to write, so I'm giving you an opportunity to let us all know how you really feel!

Send me links to your post at kim@iamprettynyc.com and I will compile everything and post it on February 13th!

She Who Does Makeup In Glass Houses...

kim | 08 February, 2006 21:09

Shouldn't maybe hurl insults at top-earming makeup artists. Tomorrow I am doing a show. Not a good one, one for a mass retailer. Near the tents. not in the tents. This is a choice I made a long time ago: I don't believe the hype. I could have struggled for awhile and then been doing print now, but I wouldn't be a writer, for one, and I couldn't stay clear to my personal morals if I did. I am confused about the world of objectification and my place in it, and I decided early on to do makeup for women who had a voice so that I could facilitate their voice rather than their bodies and the subesequent oggling. So this is cheesy and I don't neccesarily agree with the policies of the company but I am being paid by a different company--in any case, I am nervous. There will be five girls there; let's be honest, none of them will be Gisele. But I take my job seriously and I want to do the makeup beautifully. I went to MAC today and got deep blue green pigment and a few light lipglasses and a gorgeous lip stick, I forget it's name now and I'm too tired to look for you. I'm going to do a variation on Tom Pecheux's* Badgely Mischka with a little more color and a little? more balance. But as I'm looking at some makeup to get inspired for my show (because heaven knows the clothes will not inspire), I'm seeing that warmer colors now look so dated. The colors, the lack of color at the shows--the impossibly erased mouth in so many shows--is a statement of modernity. Now that it's out there, it's hard to go back. Color is a a little passe. We are really expected now to be able to wear the most unflattering colors like a dare: are you pretty enough? I know I said that in my last post, but I really see it now when trying to create my own look. So it might be a little dated, but it will be wearable and flatter the women who are modeling the clothes, not the girls who will act as clothes hangers. There is a difference of respect for their humanity in the color of their blush. I want to restore the idea of their voices through at least acknowledging their mouths. Now is not the time to write about religous coverings, but let's just say that there is a burkha effect on some of the runways, all eyes and no mouth. Why didn't I see that sooner? Silly.

*Today when I went to MAC, I picked up the little booklets that they have explaining who did what show and what their inspiration is. This is the document I've been wanting to get my hands on. Sometimes I'm lazy about research but it is on MACPro's website if you're able to access it. It all makes sense now and I respect their choices. Maybe it was the lighting? But I have not mentioned the woman who is my new hero: Charlotte Tilbury, she did Tuleh. She does the Lois Viutton ads. She is a frigging genius. Please say it slowly, because it deserves emphasis.

Nan Kempner is Dead

kim | 06 February, 2006 16:32

And so with her the big, red disco mouths that walked down the fall catwalks for the last few years. The new heroine of Couture's face seems to be Ready to Wear, acutally. The hipster face is in full effect with matte or mousy mauve mouths and screeches of teal-y black eyeliner ominently under the eye with bluish-gray eyeshadow up to the eyebrow. Badgely Mischka somehow turns this weird look out slightly elegantly, although it's not at all an elegant look and even though they are fashion forward to employ it, the look doesn't serve the true richness that is their clothes. Luella had her girls positively past deadline with no sleep--not only was there no concealer, but there even seemed to be brown under the eyes. Good for Luella, telling it like it is. I don't know how we all do it. DVF, who looooves color on the face--I happen to know, would never let her girls go down the runway looking so dead, so she put big red lips and cheeks on them. And nothing much else except for foundation, shine and mascara. Alice Roi, according to Almost Girl, had the big black lips and Tuleh's are pretty dark, too--but at least they are balanced with some eyeliner, elegantly placed; one of the most balanced looks so far. Not that we always strive for balance and elegance, but there seems to be an absence, this season, of color on the face. You have to pick a feature, play it up and completely forgo the other feature, blot it out, baby.

Are we doing to much and the makeup is reflecting how tired we all are? Are we thirsty because the earth is hot because of global warming and are lips are parched? Does the hipster girl rule? Who is the new customer of Couture?

What do you think Nan would say? Long live Maggie Gylenhall.


kim | 02 February, 2006 22:09

Tonight I was so fortunate to get on the guest list of the MAC party. Two makeup parties in one week--I know! It was far from my home and I had to say goodnight to the kid in an unideal way but I went. Please know that I hate nightclubs. I'd rather be watching a play or a movie or music or my hot husband. Clubs are loud and well, I'm just to frigging old. And I know that clubs are a community for some people or even theater for others. I don't mean to insult, they are just not my cup of tea. I was out of my element, in a way.

But not in another way: this party was celebrating their Chinoise-y collection and did so with live models and body paint. There were girls on display, you don't even know--take a look at my flog after this. It was work that was unbelievable. I don't even know how to begin to choose the pictures. This was talent that I have never seen before. So beautiful. I wonder who designed it. Matthu Andersen must have had a hand. That guy is the super-genius of beauty/theatrical makeup.

It was a little bit of a weird atmosphere: these naked, painted girls stationed in tableaux around the perimeter of the room. It would have been my Lilly Bart moment, except I was not posing in a tableaux and I was not falling, falling...anyway. So I just stared snapping away, because I was alone and there was nothing else for me to do. I didn't feel insecure, I felt very secure being alone in this club while groups of three and four fabulous people laughed up a storm; and I just snapped away. These girls were told to pose for whomever was shooting, obviously, because they gave me their all. It was a little creepy. They were kind of naked.

And then there was this moment, I don't get them often. This May will be the 11th anniversary of my first date with Mike. I am still in love and now more than ever. But every once in a while, while I'm in the situation, I wonder what my value is on the open market. Like a house. If you have your dream house and you're never moving, you're staying put. Do you sometimes look at the real estate prices in the paper? I was just standing there admiring the naked painted girls and this very mediocre looking guy said to me, "amazing!" I agreed. Was he an artist I asked. No, a photographer. Amatuer he whispered. He was awed that they were standing there for so long like that, the girls. I said, yeah, I heard one fainted before (she did and she looked like she was going to die of pukification but she was trying really hard). And he said, that' probably why they're keeping it so warm in here. And I said, "they're probably not that organized." Which they aren't. Because if you haven't noticed, we're not really that organized in America. There's alot of miscommunication and waste. From a business standpoint.


That was a joke, I said. I got it, I got it, he said, completely irritated, not looking at me. Some people have really short fuses! But more than that, I'm just not in the game anymore. It shows. So I walked away. But I can't help but think that I am no longer in the running. It would take so much for me to ever care again. I'm not saying I let myself go for my man, but I am saying that I'm an older model, who's not getting any replacement parts any time soon. In this age of McMansions, I'm one of those old New England charmers. I may have depreciated, but I like where I live.

In other news, I ran into a guy I know in the biz, who has, um, a, new relationship that's not with his wife. Which I think he might not have a relationship with anymore. He is hot in a smart guy way. The kind of smart guy who always wanted alot of tail, so he knew what to do to get it: he's really funny. His new girl is very young, half his age. She's not a McMansion, she's a high rise on the lower east side with a Whole Foods on the ground floor, if you know what I mean. Even though he was not nude with body paint on, he was the most sexed up guy there.

Max Factor Launch Party at Marquee

kim | 01 February, 2006 01:10

I just posted almostgirl's spotlight, check it out.

Tonight I had the good fortune to go to the Max Factor party. Waaay past my bed time at 9:00 pm at night. I haven't been to a club, really, since I was 16. The last time I danced in earnest was with my best friend GeMar at Danceteria. We danced so hard that we cleared the dance floor. They made a circle around us as we pounded out our 16 year old sexuality and anger on the dance floor. When we were done, we left sweating and we never looked back. I've been to clubs afterwards here and there but I hate them. You should be seriously impaired, which I don't care to be, or on the prowl if you are in a club. I'm simply too fat and old and don't care at all anymore.

This girl, oh, Veronica? What was your name? You were so sweet. You said I was normal and beautiful and that we should all have dessert. You should have seen the sweets they were trying to shove in my cake hole. Only a few made their way in. But thank you for those kind words.

There were "cigarette" girls with trays of lip glosses, eye shadows and mascaras. I took only my fair allotment, but I got my share as soon as I came. I went for the free makeup. It's true. Why else would you go?

For Carmen Electra, who was performing. I had to leave before I could see her undulate to throbbing disco beats, but her image--in still and moving form--were plastered all over the venue. She is gorgeous. I only saw one celebrity there. I won't mention who, but I will mention in unrelated news that if you ever have the privilege to see Jamie Lynn Siegler Scalia Not Scalia in person, you would be shocked about how beautiful (and tall!) she is.

Now, on to the makeup. It's supposed to be new, bright colors for a hipper consumer, I bet. Pat McGrath, my hero, designed it. And judging by the texutres of both lines, I would say that Pat likes it feather light. The lipgloss is a true no-stick. The mascara wand is very feathery (I'll have to try it tomorrow morning) and the purple and blue rimming my eye are full-on pigment. I actually really like the line. I can't wait to see what else they have.

And kudos to Marquee for having an ultra-polite and super helpful staff. I felt like I was at a luxury hotel. For just a short time and then I turned into a pumpkin.

State of the Union #2, via FashionTribes

kim | 30 January, 2006 14:50

Lesley, who was kind enough to let me use her groovy office to do Julie's makeup and to take her picture for her upcoming spotlight, was also kind enough to assemble this State of the Union address on fashion week.

Crack of Elbow Shift

kim | 27 January, 2006 10:24

I love my job. And as much as I want to be with the kid all the time, I love my owrk, too. This morning I met a woman who went to great lengths to advocate for an anonymous child where all the agencies taht should have been helping her were eating a doughnut, sipping on their coffee, reading the newspaper.

I hope today we will all think a little about someone else who is not able to help themselves and give them a little assistance, large or small.

In other news, everybody I am working with today is having a phenomenal hair day, and I just got some free Kiehl's Grapefruit wash and Lavender wash. So that's nice.

Like I said, I love my job.

This Is What I Was Looking For

kim | 25 January, 2006 14:42

Hey, here it is: Julie over at Almost Girl is going to be doing the fashion blogging over there in the tents in Bryant Park. It will be so exciting. I might blog on her commentary, extending my jaded persepective, or I might just deconstruct the makeup like Kristen did on Beauty Addict.

Fashion Week Blogging

kim | 24 January, 2006 19:54

Oh, how I would love to blog from the tents. Can someone get me a pass? If anyone will get in, it's that Beauty Addict who is mysteriously so well connected and beautiful in every way that one would want to be beautiful. But would I really? I could write about how the main makeup artist, whom all the other makeup artists envy, take one girl, sit her on a stool and have the other makeup artists circle around her. The main makeup artist applies the "look" to the "girl" and then it's makeup artists back to their stations. Then all the "girls" wait for the main makeup artist or reluctantly sit down and roll their eyes while the makeup artists do their makeup. They talk on their cellphones in Portuguese or to each other in Eurotrash model or Russian or whatever it is that they speak. And then they go to the bathroom and WIPE IT ALL OFF. Then they star in a GAP ad. Then they drop off the face of the planet. Wait, maybe that's just me.

Amy Sedaris, Where Are You?

kim | 24 January, 2006 14:16

The other day I ran across some old Strangers With Candy re-runs and I was floored at their relentless funniness. I have almost never seen anything so funny. I loved it when it came out, I just wanted to be near Amy Sedaris, to assist her, to hang out with her, to have some of her funny rub off on me. Gerri Blank is the world's ugliest heroines and yet you can't stop looking at her because everything she says makes you want to pee in your pants. For those of you who have had children, I know it's easier for you.

I want to interview her for my Spotlight Page. Anyone have any leads?

Amy Sedaris, Where Are You?

kim | 24 January, 2006 14:16

The other day I ran across some old Strangers With Candy re-runs and I was floored at their relentless funniness. I have almost never seen anything so funny. I loved it when it came out, I just wanted to be near Amy Sedaris, to assist her, to hang out with her, to have some of her funny rub off on me. Gerri Blank is the world's ugliest heroines and yet you can't stop looking at her because everything she says makes you want to pee in your pants. For those of you who have had children, I know it's easier for you.

I want to interview her for my Spotlight Page. Anyone have any leads?

Floating on a Blue Frosted Cloud with a Thomas Moving Cake Topper

kim | 23 January, 2006 13:20

Yesterday was the kid's second birthday. There was so much happiness and fun, they had to drag the kids out while they clawed the doorposts. Now that's big fun.


kim | 22 January, 2006 11:43

I got this comment, which I will partially post, on the Angelina Jolie post and on the Post Office post by the same author,

and leave ppl you dont know and dont understand alone.....

you look at goths like me and laugh
but in all honesty we are laughing at you.....

Let me first say that if you think the celebrity magazine industry is built by people who want to stalk the stars, you are wrong. There is a whole Agent/Manager/Publicist/PR person team that formulates a plan and attacks these glossies begging to get them in these magazines. Now the beast is taming the master and the paparazzi and the amateur with a camera phone are all up in the star's steeze and there's not alot they can do about it, but if you think it's easy to get into a magazine you are sadly mistaken. All that press about Brangelina is driven by their PR people or is an outgrowth of a deal they made with the devil a long, long time ago. So if Brangelina wants to portray themselves as a heartbreaker in the theater of the public, then I'm going to react. But it was designed by them. That's why I, personally, don't understand them--not because they steal each other's mates, because that's a story old as time, but I don't understand how they would want to publicize themselves as such and put their adopted and unborn babies out there.

Second, I would never laugh at a goth. They are at least color coordinated and totally into the dark, brooding side of things, which is what I am into. I used to have black hair but it was unintentional. You see, my hair is shockingly gray for my age and I used to color it from a box that I got in the drugstore for $8 and over time I was walking around with a long, black mane. Enter Kirsti at Amour de Hair who now gives me a rich base color but also some caramel low lights and I'm sort of back to where I started before all of this gray business happened. But I did sport black hair for about two years, so can I be an honorary goth? I love people on the fringe, or people who think they are or hope to be, because that's how I see myself, too. I really am an outsider, fitting in nowhere. Aesthetically, the goth thing makes sense, it's cohesive, it follows some basic rules and then the participants are free to express themselves within the context of those rules. Like a sestina, if you will. So I have never laughed at a goth, and even saw the goth poser Marilyn Manson in concert once and his big, cellulite tushy and I enjoyed it! (Probably because I like old school rock and roll, and that's what it was at the time). So it's not alternatives I'm opposed to, it's unintentionally badly shaped eyebrows when everything else is in place and it's red hair against an olive skin without matching eyebrows. It's just not flattering.

I didn't mean to insult you. Is PPL a text message thing? I'm very behind the times. Oh, and an elipsis--this can not be overstated---has only three dots.

Project Runway - Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before

kim | 18 January, 2006 23:40

Tonight Mike asked me why I liked Project Runway so much. Not to challenge me but because he's interested in the way I think. Which is kind of nice. I told him that the designers are forced to make ridiculous garments (like the one for the "celebrity" Nicky Hilton, who has never exposed her vagina so I don't know how you can call her famous but whatever) under a terrific time pressure, but they are based on math and creativity and offer a tangible product. Not like some of the other shows where they get a bunch of people together to piss in the wind and get to the finish line. I suppose this is why people loved The Amazing Race so much. I watched it once and people were waiting around in the snow at 5:00 in the morning and I just couldn't support that kind of humiliation. Which brings me to my next point. Michael Kors can be bitchy sometimes but only every once in a while. I'm sure he says so much more off camera that they can't put in. Notice how choppy those conversations with the judges are edited together? Anyway. Mostly he's respectful and I hope to be a client of his one day because he's a genius. Hi Michael, if you're reading! I do adore you, but you can't help yourself sometimes, no? Me neither. So there's a little humiliation--I can't imagine being publicly shamed by Michael Kors. Shopping for fabric in skating outfits notwithstanding.? But that Heide Klum, that little German accent adds gravitas to her spritely little baby voice, and it also adds a measure of respect. She "ins" and "outs" people with the same measure of politeness and friendliness, which makes the whole process dramatic, and not humiliating. Actually, she acheives what Oliver Stone has almost never been able to--trust the intelligence of her audience.

Not that I'm calling myself so smart. I just love the show.

Not As Hostile

kim | 18 January, 2006 08:07

I feel better this morning. I am going to call a local hair cutting joint and see what they can do for my '80's Long Island 'do. Nothing against Long Island.

Thank You De-Lurkers!

kim | 15 January, 2006 21:45

Okay, I guess I'm no Alice Bradley with her 300 comments, but I appreciated and loved every comment I got! Thank you. I guess I need to respond to a few, which I will, I've just not had a minute.

I really think I'm on to something here. Skincare takes place from the inside out. So, what I am going to do is I am going to lose the 15 lbs., get rid of most of the cheese, most of the wheat, get the kid on track with his diet and get to pre-pregnancy organic macro fishatarian. It's so much harder to eat that way, but so much better for you. My cholesteral is elevated and that's gross. And I want to make it at least till the kid's 18 and I want to give him a sibling, probably a brother. Just a feeling I have. So it's still early in the year, and I have time. It's all about self love, and you can't emulsify that and put it in a jar. It belongs to the Universe, to the Greater Intelligence, to You Know Who and it's just all around you in the air waiting for you to breathe it in.

Beauty Emergency

kim | 14 January, 2006 07:08

Last night I finished a script with a friend to submit to a contest. I was amped up and could not sleep until 2:00. At 3:48 the phone rang. Truly, I thought, Oh God, it's another Junior High School person, drunk and greiving--leave me alone in the middle of the night! But it was work. One of my crack of ass shifts was calling: the makeup artist got into a car accident, could I go in? I was totally groggy, trying to get my bearings, and then I agreed.

I am so tired, I will finish telling you later, seriously, I'm falling asleep.

Corner Office Beauty

kim | 11 January, 2006 23:06

Some time in the last millenium, the nice--and funny and sweet and generous--folks at Corner Office Beauty sent me a few things: their Transition Man Soap and their Ball Buster hand cream. Now, if you like verbena, you'll like the way these smell. The soap, I could not get enough of and it's perfectly ergonomically shaped: an oval, more perfect for the hand than any other soap, truly. And the hand cream, which I need ALL THE TIME, was amazing, soaked right in and was delicious.

I can only say sorry to the girls over there for not doing this sooner, for I've been writing my novel--which they've been very encouraging about, so I'm sorry. They are not based in New York, but their products are made in the USA and I'm all for that. I'm going to try to find products that are made here to support us all here. You know, the Wal-Mart conundrum and all.

So, ladies, thank you. And please try these products. They are truly delicious. And super-funny.

De-Lurk, baby

kim | 11 January, 2006 23:00

Hey, you know what? I write for me, but I also write for you. That's what makes blogging so much fun, conceptually, you write it and people talk to you. The end of isolation for writers, right? Not over here. One day I got 7,800 hits and no comments. No comments. I get about 1,500 people coming every day and only a few? people ever comment. I've tried everything to bring you wall flowers out, but over at Finslippy, I found out out that it is International De-Lurking Week. Now, I am not even asking to be nominated for the the Bloggies, I'm just asking you to say a little howdy. Or as we say in New York, hi, hello. Hello!

Paris at Duane's?

kim | 10 January, 2006 21:45

While on my way to getting my new camera, which was generously funded by my in laws and her mother (my favorite Nana, and not just because of that) I popped into Duane Reade. Ooph, I needed a tissue. The tail end of this cold has a long, tail. Like a friggin' Diplodocus carnegii. It's bogus. So I'm in this shmancy Duane's and I see this new display of the Vichy line and something else all Frenchy. This is the kind of stuff they have in those little, tiny pharmacies in Frahnce with those little green plus signs. You know, the untouchable stuff. But you know what? It's loaded with chemicals and mineral oil. Yuck. It still makes me feel like, if I try it, I will be like a fancy, nay, a regular French woman--who is already so much more sophisticated then I will ever be. Should I try it? Maybe I will just stick with my homeopathic Greek Korres and my aromatheraputic Decleor.

I might, though. Did you see those gorgeous displays?

Happiness is the New Botox

kim | 09 January, 2006 21:37

Two things that came out of this funeral: gratitude for my life today and happiness at the re-connecting of old connections. Why, I got the sweetest emails today from Ruben and Robin (PS 40 and 104's in the house, yo!) and I can't believe the love and happiness that has welled up in my heart.

At the funeral someone told me I did not age one bit, that I looked exactly the same. I was looking at some pictures of myself when I was eleven, and he was right. Although now I dye my hair to look the same as it was and if you get me in the wrong light (meaning when I am not walking around with a photographer's light reflecting disk underneath my chin, which is always) I'm pretty jowley. Is that a word? Okay, saggy. My face is saggy. But I'm happy, so I smile alot and that raises everything right up again. And when you're beaming, people don't have time to look at your imperfections.

So smile and be grateful for what is great in your life and you won't have to get injected by Patricia Wexler. Oiysh. Like you want her working on you? Scary.

2006 Forecast: Blue - For the Manolo

kim | 07 January, 2006 12:52

Blue is no doubt going to be the color of 2006.

Iraqui women, inspired by their new right to vote might throw off their chardors and don beautiful, jewelled shades of indigo skirt suits, pant suits and dresses to match their new found freedom. Hearing the news, the women of Afganistan will throw off their burkhas creating a huge swirl of periwinkle across the mountains. They will send their burkhas to Darfur, where the women there will be able to fashion a pulley-assembly system to help them get water five miles away from their refugee camps and perhaps even create a netting system to capture bandits and rapists that lie in wait for them as they go to get their most essential source.

Chinese women will start to question if their best interests are being served and will begin to wear blue silk belts in opposition to their government's treatment of women and girls, especially newborn ones.

Pakistan will get the message and the whole country will no longer tolerate so called "honor killings" and the men convicted of these heinous acts will be sentenced to prison wearing blue coveralls.

The blue tarps that are now covering all the roofs in New Orleans will inspire all Americans to help each other and Estee Lauder will come out with a new fragrance: Blue, with 100% of the proceeds going to disasters around the United States and when they're done, the proceeds will go toward solving the poverty problem.

Tom Ford will have been studying the situation the whole time and declare, "Blue is the new black" and create a limited edition cosmetics line of blues, blacks and silvers, which is very, very sexy but ultimately unwearable by anyone over 17 or 100 lbs. The ad campaign, or "story", for the look will be Carolyn Murphy posing as a Betty Page-esque soft-porn model in faux old stag or "blue" movies.

New Year, New Wrinkles

kim | 02 January, 2006 21:50

Since I am now officially anti-mineral oil--yes, I am--I am going to need a new moisturizer. I mean, since it's winter. I'm mos def switching to the Caudelie cleansing bar I mentioned in my article, am using the Korres eye cream and going out and getting some Decleor moisturizer right away. It's so dry. I'm really seeing my age and lack of sleep. Today I am grateful to be alive.

2006: Less Is More

kim | 30 December, 2005 07:33

Don't use so much makeup. Makeup is not the answer. Not, don't use makeup--just don't make it your obsession. Go outside, read a book, do some volunteer work, meditate, sew, knit, cook, climb mountains, learn a language. Don't spend all your time trying to better yourself from the outside.

I have 4 templates of looks with which I can switch the colors around and end up with endless colors. It's a no brainer just like my underwear and bra. It just all goes on and sometimes there's a different flavor. But to spend all of your time and money on disposable goods, trying to define your self or your personality--it's a mistake.

You are pretty. Beautiful, in fact. You don't need to create anything with waxes, powders and creams. By all means, use concealer, et al., but invest in your body, mind and soul in 2006. I will if you will.

Happy New Year!


kim | 28 December, 2005 18:03

Check out my piece on skincare in this week's Time Out New York. Yay!

I Heart New York

kim | 28 December, 2005 10:21

It's sad but true: I'm nothing without this town. Without it I wither. I literally have nothing to offer and become a laundry-folding, dish-washing, room cleaning housewife. I just don't know how to function without the energy here. Maybe I just need to learn how to drive?

Although I did have?a marvelous time while I was away. A real blast, truly. Two?people I go to visit, though,?love to taunt me, or think they are taunting me, by saying they could never live in New York. Their eyes get real big and sarcastic like I'm supposed to know what that means. And they shake their heads. Like, live with all those Jews? The Iranians? The hold-ups? The museums? The great shopping? The constant competition? The beautiful architechture? I don't know what they mean. I used to try to figure it out but now I don't care.

I'm so happy to be back.

Did You Ever

kim | 19 December, 2005 21:18

Eat too much for lunch?

Go to your holiday party one day early?

Dance on the career grave of the most evil person you have ever worked with when you heard the story of her self-destruction?

Today, I did.

Today's Private Client

kim | 18 December, 2005 23:00

There's nothing I love more than bringing out someone's natural beauty. To show them that they need less, not more, and just some better colors to enhance who they truly are...this is my job at its best. I had so much fun today. I even went back to a certain shithole where I used to work and was slightly manipulated to hug hello the minion of the devil who is the floor manager there. I checked between my shoulder blades where she put her hands--no sharp implements. I am protected by love, I guess. She is evil. In any case we had fun, me and my client...until Mike called asking me where I was. The kid was wailing, bellowing, screeching like he had cracked open a voodoo egg. But instead he was saying, OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! As in, open the door, I want to go downstairs and roam the streets aimlessly for my MISSING MOMMY! Oh, God in heaven, where is she? And I quickly asked my client for payment and rushed her out of our final destination. I felt horrible all around--the curse of the working mother with the sick and clingy child--but me and the client had a good chunk of time together and I think I really outdid myself finding a really nice look for her. She is quite beautiful, and now the world will see it!


Tomorrow should be an amazing day, only partially because I will be at a party with a really bad man (a woman, obviously) who pressed people out of their network jobs like so much toothpaste and I will be stuffing bad h'ors d'oevers in my cupcake hole trying to steady myself from saying or doing anything foolish or insecure-seeming. Shall I...write a book about it one day? Perhaps just a half chapter. Hmmm?

Chapped Lip Mountain and Voodoo Eggs

kim | 17 December, 2005 20:35

As you know, as I've complained, I've been taking care of two sick guys since Monday. Okay, Tuesday. Feels like forever. On Friday the babysitter was here and I was going to make myself a decadent--and by decadent I mean alot of vegetables--omelet. I laid out two eggs on the counter. I sauteed onions, added in the mushrooms, layered in the spinach, cut up the tomato and shredded the fresh parmesan. All these vegetables required TWO eggs, not just one, which is what I would have had normally. It was an omelet, for pete's sake, not a fritter. Then I picked up the first egg and cracked it in the bowl. It was an egg, but someone had put a voodoo curse on it, obviously, because it had a bloody center. I screamed, I yelled, I moaned, I bellowed. I somehow knocked the other egg on the floor. So, a bloody egg in a bowl and a cracked egg on the floor. Voodoo. Obviously. Mike came in and the babysitter came in--she thinks I'm a crazy, overpriviledged complainer, sometimes I'm sure. Generally I think she likes me, unless I don't get much sleep and do something wacky. Like cry (not just in the literary sense, but actually cry), Voodoo egg! Voodoo egg! And run out of the kitchen and sob on my husband's shoulder. Have I mentioned that I have been up every hour since Tuesday? She cleaned the whole thing up for me, without me asking. I told Mike he was going to have to do it, but he was sick, so she did it. Like any real mom would have. I apologized to her, but I don't feel embarrased. Isn't that weird?? Kyra called me and removed the curse. Very kind of her.

So I said to Mike, I don't give a shit, I have to get the fuck out of this house or I'm going to lose my mind forever. He understood and it was a good transition time for the kid, so I went and saw Brokeback Mountain. Now, I appreciate all the movie reviewers who say this isn't a gay cowboy movie, but it's not true. It is a gay cowboy movie and one of the most political movies I have ever seen. Two people who love each other who destroy themselves because it's illegal and socially unacceptable (upon pain of death) to live in the truth of that love. So, yes, it is a pure love story, a sublime, aching one. But it is a political statement and very important in this day and age of intolerance and PC backlash. Love is love. That's the point of the movie. It should not be interferred with. Especially when you've got such hot man-on-man action with the two stars. Whoo-hee that was some good lovin'! God bless Halle Berry for winning the Oscar for Monster's Ball, but Heath Ledger was really the star of that movie if you count presence and acting talent. I've not seen much he is in but he is truly a natural. Jake is cute and does a good job, but you never forget he's him. I mean, he's good. But Heath...

The special effects are good and bad. Everyone in that movie has chapped lips (besides Jake) which is accurate, but hard as a makeup artist to watch. But I'm really into accuracy, so I'm torn. The special effects makeup suck, but that's because they are in close ups in daylight. You can't fight nature. And Anne Hathaway's wigs? Who did they hire, me to do them? I don't know if I could have done a worse job.

Nonetheless, I loved the movie. I don't get out much, but I do have good taste. So.

Oooo Zamahtay!

kim | 11 December, 2005 15:02

I'm not sure what this means, the kid won't tell me. Sometimes you're not supposed to say it, he corrects me. "No oh zamahtay!" Today he also put some pulp of a grapefruit in his applesauce and made the sizzling sound, as if it were a vat of hot oil.

My article is swimming along and soon, at the end of the month, I could be actually published for the very first time. I will notify you when the happy event occurs.


kim | 04 December, 2005 20:42

This weekend I worked (with a six hour turnaround in the middle of the crack of ass). I was in midtown in the middle of the night where there was a traffic jam due to the Christmas tree. I think New Yorkers hate crowds - I do. That's part of the exclusivity thing, we just can not tolerate standing on lines. So I actually had to get out of my cab and hoof it over to my job for which I was about a half hour late (completely unlike me and totally unacceptable) but just for my call time which always leaves a cushy amount of time before air. I have never done that before and I will never do it again. But there was this woman, this mom, with a mom hairdo (long, undone bangs by her ears looking like a bi-level next to the next layer which was down by her shoulders - all hanging limp and dyed a horrid reddish-brown all-over hue), glasses, big red lips and a low cut (?) blazer with nothing under it STANDING UP IN HER WHITE STRETCH LIMO POKING OUT OF THE TOP like she was in whatever Spring Break town 20 years ago, shouting to the other limo. Looking around to see who was watching. Like she didn't have a cell phone to call her friend in the other limo? And there was major traffic so I was moving on foot faster than she was. I could not take my eyes off of her, the sight was so tacky. It's the same impulse that forces me to purchase Star Magazine every week, even though Bonnie Fuller ruined the purity that was that magazine 10 years ago.

I guess we're all classy in our own special way.

Apologies to MAC

kim | 28 November, 2005 11:19

Here's why it's great to be a makeup artist: items that look completely unwearable take on new life and meaning when you have them sitting in your drawer for so long. As you know I loved MAC's fall story although I thought the picture of the campaign was a little silly and I thought the makeup really didn't do the products justice. There was also another problem in the collection - this weird, really dark lipglass called Flight of Fancy. Well, it was the only lipgloss in my bag on Thanksgiving on my way to work and so I wore it. It's the most perfect sheer, dark purple that I've ever seen. Like desire, but with a gloss and a pearl so that it just gives you this exotic great look and makes your teeth look lighter. Pair it with dark eyes (yes, now I'm addicted to Galaxy by Hard Candy with black liner and Belissima and Surabaya duos by Nars) with Hint or Fade blush by Stila, and you have one fierce, fall look.

Crack of the Turkey's Ass

kim | 25 November, 2005 17:07

I worked on Thanksgiving and today at the crack of ass. I'm too tired to say elbow, it's ass, really. I used to feel bad about myself when I worked holidays--but when you work in show biz, you're on all the time. This year I was grateful that I've had a change in perspective in such a deep way that I felt happy about my job. About my son and my husband and my friends. And all the incredibly bitchy former friends that have dissolved out of my life. There is so much love and so much for us if we can just be a little quiet and step outside of our story for just a few minutes. Some might call that meditating if you couple it with specific breathing and you sure could do that if you wanted to. That's the best beauty tip I can give you: to be grounded in yourself and peaceful in your approach and the world will be happy to receive you. Happy Thanksgiving.

And rim your eye with Hard Candy's galaxy eyeliner and smush it in the crease, too, over Nars Bellissima plus Surabaya eyeshadows. Yes, during the day. Don't you know me by now? Sparkles always.

Beauty Addicts Unite!

kim | 23 November, 2005 15:09

I hereby declare my devotion to Kristen and her gorgeous blog! She is an upstanding person, has great shoes and one hell of a product picker. Happy Thanksgiving to you, Kristen, and to all you beautiful minxes out there.

Blogging Conference: Dos and Don'ts

kim | 22 November, 2005 20:47

Do: Accept invitation heartily.

Don't: Forget this little noun: context. Find out the politics of the aegis under which you will be speaking.

Do: Purchase the sparkliest, pointiest stilletos you can find, especially if the Manolo is moderating.

Don't: Get yourself seated between two thin, beautiful women if you have not lost your two-year-old pregnancy weight. Who are you kidding? It's toddler weight. Why do they have to snack on frigging crackers and cookies all the time, despite your urgings of fruit and veggies? You WILL be photographed looking like Jabba the makeup artist and the unflattering photo will be posted on Yahoo News, so that all of your ex-boyfriends and former friends and enemies can gloat and bask in your back-fatness.

Do: Your makeup impeccably.

Don't: Keep touching up your lipstick in the middle of a political blog conference. A sign of weakness, to be sure.

Do: Hold your own during conference.

Don't: Try to play both sides of the fence with Elizabeth Hayt.

Do: Speak your mind.

Don't: Call journalists arrogant, exclusive, mean and subservient to the advertising business when you are addressing a room filled with journalists. Hee hee.

Do: Point out people's logic flaws privately.

Don't: Plaster them all over the internet whether in comments section or otherwise.

Do: Get mad when your panel is hijacked.

Don't: Take unstylish women political bloggers seriously when they ignore you, insult you, mis-attribute your quotes or call you boring. Don't even attack their long sleeves in comments sections of other blogs. I said stop it!

Do: Read other blogs for summaries.

Don't: Feel old, irrelevant, invisible or like Mrs. Cellophane when nobody mentions a word of what you said or steals your quotes or cheers on other people and ignores you.

Do: Pick yourself up and start all over again.

Don't: feel like you have no skin for a whole week and a day. It's not worth it.

It's Raining

kim | 22 November, 2005 14:31

It's raining today over here. Just a tiny bit of sleet, too. You know what? Today I said F-it! I'm blowing my hair out. With a rain hat, the hair obeyed through taking the kid to school and back. Truth be known? I've not been feeling so hot this last week. So I'm just going to pretend that I feel fabulous. Blow out, full makeup, nice clothes and a big, hot cup of green tea. I like the Choice Genmaicha kind (with toasted brown rice). I got nothin'. I'm spent, but I thought I would check in to say hi. Hi! I will have something more soon. Almost done with some critical pages on my novel and I'm crawling to the finish line. It's taking all my energy. Pant. pant.

It's Over

kim | 18 November, 2005 14:00

This week was the biggest rollercoaster ride of the year. Here's what I have to remember: if you put it out there, it will come back to you. Not, perhaps, from the exact same avenue, but it will always come back to you. So remind me of that, okay?

Who's Sorry Now?

kim | 16 November, 2005 23:46

Today I saw two people in the same place that stood by idly and watched bad things happen to me professionally a long, long time ago. Now, they might feel bad about it or not. And it might impact me or not. But what I am saying, people, is: don't be screw people over in your own business. Especially in a business that is like a meta-chessboard. You will meet those people on the way up and on the way down again.

Sooo Boring

kim | 16 November, 2005 18:33

Says LaShaun Barber of our panel. You should see her haircut and her mustard-colored caftan. Maybe she should get more interested. Elizabeth Hayt got all the press for being antagonistic. Me and Kristen of Beauty Addict got a picture in Yahoo News in which she looks beautiful and I look like a fat cow. Did I mention how nice Kristen is? And how nice Christa Weber is? We had fun together. And Tom Julian was nice, too. Sorry I was so selfish and didn't say much about the event. I guess I was completely self absorbed. And since my back fat is so vast, it took me a while to emerge...

All That And A Bag of Chips

kim | 16 November, 2005 13:58

Today I sat on a panel discussion for OSM. I thought I would be the least prepared, knowledgeable fraudulent blogger there. Why? Because it's all well and good when I tell you to love yourself, but when it comes to me...well, it turns out that I really was not the least prepared and that I actually had a few good things to say and that I did refrain from calling some people a slut, but did refer to it obliquely and got a laugh. Actually, I got a few laughs. Maybe I should try stand up again. There's nothing more delicious than getting a bunch of laughs. Okay, a few things, but that's a good one.

The babysitter got here and did something that thwarted my time, I will not be specific, in the world of mommyhood everything is up for discussion but that's because we live in the human jungle of body fluids. Anyone with a child over seven or with no children at all, I will spare you. But that put me back 25 minutes, which is alot for a girl who cannot give herself a decent blowout. I wore Armani Foundation 5.5 from my kit, Christian Dior Medium Beige Concealer with that MAC corrective pen that's sort of a knock off of Touche Eclat over it in the peachy color. Dude, I so need Amazing Concealer. Laura Mercier Translucent Powder stolen from my kit. The eyeshadow: Belissima by Nars and then a black Laura Gellar (I got it in a Shecky's Goody Bag, that's why - but it's the perfect combo of deep, dark black and smudginess and stablity, I really like it) all around, inside and outside my eye and then Night Breed by Nars over that all around my eye, extending it out on the ends (even more underneath, I didn't want it to look too cat-eyed and '80's because I could looks so '80's if I wanted to) and then Volumious. Cherche cream blush by MAC under the cheekbones and over that (cream over powder, you ask? I could not find my hint or fade by Stila, which I took out and was sitting underneath papers) and then Nars Angelika blush. Just a little on the apples. Lips: MAC Subculture lipliner, Kiehl's Orange Blossom Lipgloss(discontinued, boo hoo), that Sephora #77 lipstick I just got Helena Rubenstein sparkly/purpley lip gloss that's discontinued and kicked out of the US - I only use for special occasions. I kept layering those. If you have the chance to put on a few layers of lipstick and lip gloss, starting with the gloss, it's much higher maintenance but it looks better. Plus I like to re-apply a thousand times and run my fingers through my hair not to be rude or call attention to myself, but because I'm an anxious fidget.

All black and glitter, pointy toed stilletos. And a few good things to say. But my hair is a disaster. I did the best I could but did not have time for a blow out.

Then I went on an audition. Now, it's back to the kid, who thinks I'm a star already.

Armani News!!

kim | 13 November, 2005 23:16

As you may or may not know, I use Armani foundation almost exclusively. It is really the best; and I am forsaking my favorite girl for this, so you know I mean business! This does not mean you, Miss Susan Berkowitz. You are fine with what you have. I promise. Well, they finally came out with a 4.5 and a 6.5, which means they also have 5.5, and now they have shades that can actually accomodate all women. I am so excited, I had to shout it out from the procrastination of what I'm writing right now!!!

You Win Some, You Lose Some

kim | 13 November, 2005 21:29

Today I had the lovliest private client; but had to go back to my place of former employ; which is under Federal Investigation for illegal chargebacks - Hey! Elliot Spitzer, if you need me to testify, give me a call! The client has one boy and is expecting twins. Rarely have I met a nicer, more even-keeled, engaging pregnant-with-twins mom. So nice.

Then I got an email from the glam mom I did for her birthday: the eyelashes that I applied and really sold her on - when she and her husband got to their party, he asked her what the heck was going on with her eye, the lash had fallen across one of her eyes and was dangling. So she pulled them off and nobody was the wiser. She had even asked me how they came off while I was doing her makeup. Good thing I gave her that lesson!

Then, sigh, lip gloss. Revlon Super Lustrous Lip gloss. I cannot get enough of it. Wrap Yourself in Rubies, Cherries in the Glow, Nude. I'm having trouble stopping. Please, someone stop me. They are only $7.49, less, I'm sure if you have your Club Card (Duane's) which I always forget.

And I'm going to get Caleche Eau Delicate. There. I said it.

Plus, did I tell you? I lost my beloved camera. Anyone interested should send me a Nikon D70 as a quick replacement. I am heartbroken and can no longer flog until I get a new one. boo hoo. My flog was funny, too.

White Noise and a List

kim | 13 November, 2005 03:46

First of all, let me say that I detest paying retail for makeup. If I can't get it on my discount card, I'm not doing it. But I have OCD around the Hard Candy Glitter pencil in Galaxy (black with silver sparkles) and I simply can't live without it. Despite being "Temporarily Out of Stock" on Sephora's website, I secured one at a location and set about to purchase it. As you may or may not remember, I tried to get it on my birthday, but they were out. If I have it in my mind that I will buy one thing, then the possiblity of other things creeps in. So you can imagine what happend - I ended up with one pink, sparkly lipstick as well. A color and texture I have sworn off, but I tried it on (my hand, please don't be gross) because I thought it was a creamy skin colored thing and then it was pink and sparkly and I had no will to resist. Sephora brand #77. I think that Mark lipgloss from last year will go perfectly over it. Plus, in Sephora they are slightly evil because they play that loud, pounding music to disorient you and give you some anxiety to boot. I have to go in there today to do a little research for something and I think I will go in with my discman with the Relax with Soothing Waterfalls CD. And a list.

Putting Lip Gloss on the Razor's Edge

kim | 04 November, 2005 20:39

Last night I did a mommy friend's makeup for a big birthday she was having. I did big, huge, smoky black eyes and pressed glitter into the center. She looked really hot, like a movie star, but did not recognize herself. I also used false eyelashes. She was opening and shutting her eyes, trying to make them work (because false lashes feel like you have mechanical eyes over your eyes). She looked in the mirror, paused, and said she liked it. Like it? I said, I want you to love it. I don't know if she did, but I did. It was a departure for her, I've never seen a picture of her ultra-glam, but I think it was high time. It was a big birthday, and she's hot, and if you can't look really hot on your big birthday - and you're already married - when are you going to wear glitter? To the playground?

I heard a certain hairdresser of a certain latin pop star got fired because he took a risk (her risk ended up on every cover of every magazine, and was mocked). And by got fired, I mean she just didn't call him any more. This is the peril of the makeup artist: someone is always not going to like what you do. I even heard that the big Kahuna who is now in the sky had a bunch of out takes - by the people who got their makeup done by him during out take time. It's a creative art, so it's always a gamble. If you do the same thing over and over again, you're just stale - and if you take a risk, you put yourself in jeapordy. It's a fine line that we are always skating. It definitely takes a certain kind of person to do this kind of work. Usually a psycho, and I'm not saying that I'm perfectly mentally balanced, but I'm pretty good at it after all this time.

Skating on the Razor's Edge

kim | 04 November, 2005 20:23

Last night I did a mommy friend's makeup for a big birthday she was having. I did big, huge, smoky black eyes and pressed glitter into the center. She looked really hot, like a movie star, but did not recognize herself. I also used false eyelashes. She was opening and shutting her eyes, trying to make them work (because false lashes feel like you have mechanical eyes over your eyes). She looked in the mirror, paused, and said she liked it. Like it? I said, I want you to love it. I don't know if she did, but I did. It was a departure for her, I've never seen a picture of her ultra-glam, but I think it was high time. It was a big birthday, and she's hot, and if you can't look really hot on your big birthday - and you're already married - when are you going to wear glitter? To the playground?

I heard a certain hairdresser of a certain latin pop star got fired because he took a risk (her risk ended up on every cover of every magazine, and was mocked). And by got fired, I mean she just didn't call him any more. This is the peril of the makeup artist: someone is always not going to like what you do. I even heard that the big Kahuna who is now in the sky had a bunch of out takes - by the people who got their makeup done by him during out take time. It's a creative art, so it's always a gamble. If you do the same thing over and over again, you're just stale - and if you take a risk, you put yourself in jeapordy. It's a fine line that we are always skating. It definitely takes a certain kind of person to do this kind of work. Usually a psycho, and I'm not saying that I'm perfectly mentally balanced, but I'm pretty good at it after all this time.

Skating on the Razor's Edge

kim | 04 November, 2005 20:23

Last night I did a mommy friend's makeup for a big birthday she was having. I did big, huge, smoky black eyes and pressed glitter into the center. She looked really hot, like a movie star, but did not recognize herself. I also used false eyelashes. She was opening and shutting her eyes, trying to make them work (because false lashes feel like you have mechanical eyes over your eyes). She looked in the mirror, paused, and said she liked it. Like it? I said, I want you to love it. I don't know if she did, but I did. It was a departure for her, I've never seen a picture of her ultra-glam, but I think it was high time. It was a big birthday, and she's hot, and if you can't look really hot on your big birthday - and you're already married - when are you going to wear glitter? To the playground?

I heard a certain hairdresser of a certain latin pop star got fired because he took a risk (her risk ended up on every cover of every magazine, and was mocked). And by got fired, I mean she just didn't call him any more. This is the peril of the makeup artist: someone is always not going to like what you do. I even heard that the big Kahuna who is now in the sky had a bunch of out takes - by the people who got their makeup done by him during out take time. It's a creative art, so it's always a gamble. If you do the same thing over and over again, you're just stale - and if you take a risk, you put yourself in jeapordy. It's a fine line that we are always skating. It definitely takes a certain kind of person to do this kind of work. Usually a psycho, and I'm not saying that I'm perfectly mentally balanced, but I'm pretty good at it after all this time.

My Day Was Made!

kim | 02 November, 2005 21:31

I am working so hard on my novel, and it's actually finally coming. Thank you, muse, whomever you are. I adore you. You must be gorgeous! Plus, I just got a note from the winner of my book from the Manolo's writing contest. She's a smarty pants law student! I'm sure she's the smartest in her class. Hello, all you luscious creatures at Yale! Study well and purchase Amazing Concealer in Light (only from Sephora's or Amazing Concealer's websites, the display in Sephora is pyech) and a little lip gloss. Bundle up, girls, it's going to be a long winter. But we'll have each other.

It Was A Success!

kim | 01 November, 2005 21:47

I just got reports that the Liza was a success! In other news, I am completely broken out in a Nutrageous constellation, but I did wash my face tonight. Sephora is still out of stock of the Galaxy eyeliner, Hard Candy has it, but I'm going to wait. Whoever has free shipping wins. Know what I mean?

Hey - when I come out with my lipgloss line, will you pay shipping? You'll have to. Unless I sell it on QVC.

Roses, For Me?

kim | 31 October, 2005 09:43

Who doesn't love an entire birthday week? I just got roses this morning from my charming and delighful friend, the little goat!

It's My Birthday!!!!

kim | 29 October, 2005 22:48

I had the perfect day today! Much like my life before I had the kid, like I could go where I wanted and do what I wanted with whom I wanted. I had the greatest morning of pedicures, breakfast with buddies and working out. Like a regular day for people without children, a fact they will never understand, but whatever. Mike took me to a vegan restaurant since I'm trying to get back to my vegan roots, although grains and proteins and sugars will always be a problem for me, I'm just trying to eat 9 vegetables a day. Then we saw Doubt. And just so you know - if I wasn't married to Mike, I would be married to John Patrick Shanley. We ended the night by going to Sephora which is open until 12, where I looked for black glitter eyeliner but could not find it and so did not purchase anything. Makeup mania came over me, though, as I started picking up things I have always wanted to purchase but never have: Too Faced eye shadow duos, Urban Decay eye shadow palettes, Cargo lipglosses, Tarte blushing sticks, Holy Lord, I got swept up. And then I thought - what the hell are you doing? You're buying makeup retail? You are out of your mind. Even I can get caught up in the madness, but I stop myself, ladies. We must all buy makeup with a plan or we waste money. I really believe that. But that fricking Too Faced duo is stuck in my craw and I can't get it out, so I will have to order it. I'm such a sucker, but a birthday is not complete without one purchase of makeup.?

Drunk with Power

kim | 28 October, 2005 11:46

Sometimes when I wake up in the moring to work at the crack of ass, I am required to do the makeup of an ass. Specifically, someone I can't stand. Let's just say she's not a liberal. So, I had the good fortune this morning to have a makeup emergency that pushed back me doing her makeup. Through no fault of my own (I would never do?that on my own) I got to make that bitch sweat. And it was sweet. Muhahaahhaaahaaa!!!!

Tim Quinn

kim | 26 October, 2005 10:04

is going to be doing makeup at the Giorgio Armani counter at Saks from the 27th to the 29th. He is incredible, the line is incredible and they have the absolute best mascara and foundation on the market. And translucent powder #2 is great for almost anyone (not darker than caramel) but then you can go darker if you need. And the lipsticks. And the glosses. And the blushes. And their Prive fragrances. All of it. Go buy it. You will not be disappointed. And it's not as expensive as you think. And pick me up something, my birthday's on the 29th.

It Was A Good Day

kim | 20 October, 2005 20:46

Today (in real time) I had this great job with this gorgeous gal whose makeup I did flawlessly, mostly because she is already beautiful and it would be really hard to mess it up. But also it was good. She is the unfortunate beneficiary of another woman's unending campaign to eat all the men in her path, past and present. I feel so badly for her in that way but she's strong, moved on and claiming her life. We had so much fun today, mostly sitting around eating much trafe (proscuitto slices with fresh mozzerlla) and decaf, making each other laugh and then me making her beautiful. I hope I get paid. And if I do, I hope it's in this year. La la.

The Incomparable Lyss Stern!

kim | 18 October, 2005 23:57

Check out my interview with the delicious, Divalysscious, Lyss Stern

Makeup Artist Do's and Don'ts

kim | 11 October, 2005 06:23

Do: Show up to work on time, whether is 4 or 6 am, 2 pm in the rain or 11 am at a hotel for a wedding.

Don't: Show up with coffee breath, carry mints. And extra coffee, because you are going to need it this weekend, sister.

Do: Touch up your makeup just in case you are called to appear on air for a makeover segment as a frenzied makeup artist getting the out of towners who lucked out to get the famous hairstylist to change their frumpy hairstyles ready for their segment.

Don't: Gossip about how bitchy that famous stylist is.

Do: Chat with the guests.

Don't:Talk to one of the hosts. In fact, don't even look at her. Avert your gaze off to the left.

Do: Apply liquid liner to a host.

Don't: Lose your liquid liner and MacGuyver black shadow over Bobbi Brown gel liner in Hunter (green). Although, it really does work in a pinch. But it is not reccomended.

Do: Be kind to your private clients who are suffering from terminal illnesses. Listen carefully, give encouragement, love, and an elbow to lean on as you walk together through the aisles of department stores.

Don't: Really get into the specifics unless she offers.

Do: Create beautiful bridal makeup for your fourth job in one weekened.

Don't: say much to Clint, the dumb-but-unbelievably-gorgeous-just-off-the-bus bell hop as he helps you with your suitcase filled with makeup upstairs. But do suggest to the bride that she is not married yet, she's got two hours, so if she wants a happy ending with Clint in the bathroom, you can work the hair and makeup around that schedule.

Don't: Put bronze shimmer on a bride, use the silvery tones so they match the dress.

Do: Nod your head in understanding and agreement with the bride that her family members are kooky.

Don't: Suggest, no matter how tired you are and how familiar you feel with her, that a certain member get tested for Alzheimer's. You will be cringing about it all week.

Do: Add some individual lashes to the ends of your eyes in between jobs.

Don't: Let one of them float around in the tub during your son's bath. Scoop it out and throw it away.

Carry on.

The Life of a Freelance Makeup Artist Is...

kim | 09 October, 2005 03:18

insane. This weekend: four jobs. Two down, two to go. Huff, huff.

Notes From The Crack of Ass

kim | 06 October, 2005 20:53

This Rosh Hashana, instead of not working, I worked. But it was at the crack of ass, poonk -right in the middle of the Jewish day, at 5:00 am for a woman who is divorced and Conservadox and she had her kids that day, so I was actually doing someone a service. Better I should help her. And, plus, I wasn't paying them, they were paying me.

But I was working in a building that I swore I would never work in because I am morally opposed (can you imagine?) to that building. My morals, however, have been washed down the sink like so much foundation from a foundation brush after a particularly thick and frothy application. So sad.

A few things I learned on my two days at work: they guy who is in charge, the guy whose family bought and installed those voting machines with no paper trail and the ability to be tampered with? Is insane. He will stop at nothing to employ the military. Soon you might see the military deployed in the New York City Public School System. Maybe he will say that God told him to take Randi Weingarten down. Who knows? She sort of is in the way of getting teachers to work under worse conditions with less pay and less insurance.? It's seemed so reasonable in the past, but when you start mentioning getting the military in to enforce a quarantine for a flu that isn't here yet and you just let thousands of people who are obviously irrelevant to you drown for five days? I'm so confused.

Also, I think the reason why everyone is working so hard is because everything is getting really expensive plus we think we need alot of stuff. Then you're on this hamster wheel and you don't have time to do anything about invading countries and stuff. I think that's by design from the top.

There's no free lunch: unless you're next to a green room from 5-12, and then you can eat the danish, fruit and hazelnut coffee all morning long if there are no guests but you will get fat.

It's hard to concentrate on my novel in a make up room.

I've still got it. In fact, my work is getting better with age. So that's nice. Because, boy, am I aging.

Happy New Year!

kim | 03 October, 2005 11:55

Tonight is the beginning of the Jewish New Year (if you don't count Selichot, which we did not because we can't stay up past 8:00 pm these days) so to all my Jewish friends, may I say a happy and a healthy new year to you and your families! And to my non-Jewish friends, what the heck - happy new year, anyway! It's always nice to take stock of your gifts and faults, keep the good, chuck the bad and make peace with yourself, God and the people you done wrong whether you're Jewish or not. So, happy personal stock-taking, everyone!

Let's Not Say Goodbye, We'll Say Adieu...

kim | 26 September, 2005 12:13

I am sending in my computer today to the computer monkies in the void. Let's hope for an expedient return of my little darling. I will try to blog in the meanwhile, but it might be tough. When I come back I want to tell you about some delicious products by www.cornerofficebeauty.com and my new column on www.universitychic.com!

Or you can look at that stuff now and we can discuss it in a few days...I'll miss you, Internet. Mwah!

Crack of Elbow Shift

kim | 24 September, 2005 08:24

Okay, it's the crack of ass shift; but my mother told me not to curse on my website. Not like I ever listen to my mother - but she has a point. Here I sit, overly caffeinated and stuck in a virtual cage. It's a gilded cage, but a cage nonetheless.

Two things: Glitter fricking eye pencil by Hard Candy, people. An oldie, but a goodie. You can break it out again for this season and?bring it into the holidays. Only $14.50. Sephora.

Also? FABULASSSHHHHHH! Halle Berry's makeup, her speech, her alignment, her movement, her teeth, the little gravel at the end of the honey "Fabulashhhhh." I'm totally getting it. I will let you know. Although, please don't think that she's not wearing at least one pair of false lashes in the ad. Because it's at least one. It should be against the law to put false eyelashes on in mascara ads, but it's not. So don't be disappointed when you don't look like Halle. It's years and years of pilates and some perfect, golden shimmer that I would bet is a MAC pigment, shimmer or Ben Nye powder.

Beauty Do's and Don'ts

kim | 23 September, 2005 12:33

On the streets while I stroll the kid this way and that, I catalogue beauty do's and don'ts. Not that I look so great when I'm wheeling him around, but I'm talking about people here who are obviously trying.

We have a book here by Todd Parr Called Underwear Do's and Don'ts. In that vein, I will rattle off some beauty do's and don'ts. When you are saying "Do" to yourself, if you want to do it like I do, say it loudly and syntheticly slightly staccatto so it sounds almost like, "BOOP!" When you say "Don't" make it short, low and forbidding, as in, don't do that again.

Do: Take advantage of the flushed cheek look whether by jogging or Tarte's blushing stick thing in Babydoll and Flushed.
Don't: Wear peach rouge on under your eyes.

Do: Pick a funky color and wear it, usually on your eyes or lips, but apply it with intention.

Don't: Slop white-blue eyeshadow on your lids and let it bleed down the sides.

Do: Fill in your eyebrows with a slightly lighter-than-your-hair with an absence-of-red shade (Unless you are Susan Berkowitz, then you have to!)
Don't: Create an entirely new shape of your eyebrows with wings at the end in magic-marker black. Please. I beg you to stop.

Do: Fill in your lips with a natural color lip-liner such as MAC's Spice if you're light and MAC's Cork if you're medium and MAC's Chestnut if you're dark
Don't: Line your lips very darkly on the outside and fill them in with really light stuff in the middle (come on, people! Do we still have to go through this?)

Do: Wear concealer
Don't: Not wear concealer or use a concealer that is too light.

Do: Throw your mascara away after 3 months.
Don't: Keep wearing the same look as high school.

Do: Play nice in the playground.
Don't: Talk behind people's backs.

Dearest, Darlingest Computer Monkies in the Void

kim | 19 September, 2005 22:38

This is my hope, dear Computer Monkies in the Void: that you take care of my computer which dies a thousand deaths each week randomly and you put it back altogether and that you don't try to look up my internet history and that you can't find a bit of my novel or any of my passwords and that you will return my big, lunky gem to me unmolested but all better.

Thank you Computer Monkies in the Void. You'll never know how much that means to me.

The Shows

kim | 15 September, 2005 08:53

I will go over the shows, but not right now. The reason why they do the shows now is so that retailers can put in their orders and designers can fulfill those orders. Not because you have to worry about it today. They also do it for the the theater factor, and I think that Doubt will be much more interesting than a fashion show as far as drama is concerned. From what I have seen, however, it will be a good idea to have your teeth whitened and your skin acid-peeled because the makeup is so light and minimal that even the flaws of the models were highlighted.

MAC Fall 2005

kim | 14 September, 2005 13:54

It's not a secret that I'm not really into the picture for the MAC's fall color story. BUT today I went shopping with one of my favorite private clients and I have to say that the Naturally Eccentric collection is one of MAC's most wearable, ever.The colors are astonishingly beautiful and natural. We bought her almost the whole collection. I even bought something for myself - Damzel Lip glass. Also, their new eyeshadow primers are a unique cream to powder and com in amazing shades. How does MAC do it? They top themselves every, single color story. I could just bathe in them.

You Could Be In Pictures!

kim | 12 September, 2005 22:05

I just got wind that Iman is launching her new book "The Beauty of Color" and in honor of that wants to get a big, beautiful picture of women of all colors. So they're casting gorgeous creatures (read: regular gals such as yourselves) at

Hue-Man Cafe
2319 Frederick Douglass Boulevard
8th Avenue between 24th and 25th Streets
(212) 665-7400
Friday, September 16: 6:00 - 8:00
Saturday, September 17 1:00 - 4:00
Sunday, September 18th 1:00 - 4:00

George Chinsee is going to take the picture.

And just as an aside, I worked the opening of the I-Iman line at Sephora when it was in Rockefeller Center (Golly, I miss that one, it was the second and the best one that ever was - I did most of my research on my book there, but two floors of Makeup, Skincare, Fragrance, Haircare, tools and accessories is not sustainable on the most expensive avenue in the world. I guess.) She is the most stunning woman you have ever seen. Almost unreal. If I was David Bowie, I'd definitely marry her, too. I still wear the t-shirt to the gym when I work out. I mean, the last two times this year I worked out.

Anyway, good luck and I hope you get in. I wonder if Jay Manuel is still doing her makeup or if he got some new gig. He was so nice that day. That's when he still had dark hair. Didn't he go blondie for ANTM? Hey! If you get in the picture, I wonder who will do your makeup? That's an exciting thought, isn't it?


kim | 10 September, 2005 05:17

Yesterday I was shopping for shoes with the kid and I saw a familiar person out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes celebrities are familiar like someone you slept with once in college under dubious states of coherence: where do I know him from, you ask yourself. But the voice was unmistakable as was the shine on the head - it was Anthony Edwards of ET, Top Gun and ER fame. But what he's really famous for in my heart is that he's married to Janinne Lobell, the creator of Stila cosmetics. What was I going to say to him, "Oh, gosh, I love your wife - how is she such a genious? Can I meet her? Can I have her autograph? Can I assist her one day?" No, loser. You may not meet Janinne Lobell, at least not that way. But I take serendipitous sightings like that as a blessing. So, when we were at a crossroads - he wanted to go back to his seat and I wanted to leave the store, I let him go first and purposely didn't look at him. I don't know him, and he was just shopping for shoes with his kids. Why would he care if I called him goose? Plus, the last time I said hi to a guy whose makeup I did a bunch of times and with whom I was stuck in a crisis work situation, he got all weird on me because he didn't remember me. "Hi, XYZ," I said in Balducci's. And he was all like, "hey, how's it going, stalker?" He acted like I was a fan when I was actually a co-worker. Like I was acting how I would act if I met Janinne. Which I so wasn't.

I'm Famous, Part Deux

kim | 08 September, 2005 12:32

It is a blessing to be included in any New York Times Style article, even if it is on Thursday, even if you are the end quote. At least the wonderful Ruth LaFerla underscored my integrity, exposed my girliness and mentioned my web address. Ruth, I thank you. They sent a photographer on Staurday to snap my picture, but it didn't make it in. Oh, well. I was saving it to tell you because I didn't want to jinx it. Anyhoozle, I'm very grateful.

Fall In The Air?

kim | 06 September, 2005 09:12

On the first sunny, warm day after a long cold winter, my high school? friend Chris McKinney used to take in a deep breath, exhale and say, "spring in the air (beat, beat, beat) fall on? your ass." We would fall over in peals of laughter. I still do even though our friendship is long gone. I wish there was a small saying like that for fall, if there is - especially one that applies to makeup (no pun intended) - please let me know.

If you were looking at the ads for the cosmetics companies it might be something like - "fall on your facw (beat, beat, beat) cover it up with too much makeup." Some manufacturers might have you believing that you need to wear a super-duper amount of makeup this fall. Heavy eyes and heavy lips. It's not something that I would suggest. And it's not something that I find hysterically funny, either. Unless one of the areas is sort of sheer. Then you might get a giggle out of me. Best looks this fall? Lancome and Whatever Uma has on her face for the Louis Vuitton ads.

One Small Thing

kim | 31 August, 2005 22:11

Americans spend over $8 Billion on cosmetics every year. The devastation that Katrina, that bitch, left? is thought to be over $26 Billion. Just saying. What if you donated the amount of your next lipstick to a good cause?

Boarding House Syndrome

kim | 30 August, 2005 14:05

You know how when women work together, their cycles all match up? Well, me and my babysitter are in synch with our gray hair: she lets it grow an inch too long before she gets it done, and I'm exactly a week behind her. She's like my hair calendar-reminder thing. And she takes really good care of the kid, too.

Not In The Mood To Fight City Hall

kim | 29 August, 2005 10:12

You will no longer find anything relating to a certain children's show that I am not a fan of. There are many more better qualified websites for you to revel in your glory with that show. I am signing off on that one.

I'm done fighting everything and everyone. I don't care for it. I've updated my website finally, sorry it's taken so long. I've just been trying to write my novel, here.

In beauty news, Amore Pacific is one of the few expensive lines that I really love. It's soooo expensive, but it's unbelievable. Especially if you have the bumpy skin, like me.

Nailing Down A Call Time - The Call Sheet

kim | 24 August, 2005 20:42

6:00 pm, last night - Phone call: can you work?
6:05 pm, last night - Yes, thank you. May I check my babysitting situation first and get back to you tomorrow morning?
9:30 am, today - Babysitter says yes, Mike gets time off of work.
10:00 am, today - Call to confirm yes.
10:30 am, today - given call time of 11:30. Yay.
11:00 am, today - ask babysitter to change hours to two hours later, she agrees.
6:30 pm, today - get call sheet and call time is, er, now 8:00 am.
8:30 pm, today - talk to coordinator, no, it's 9:30.
8:31 pm, today - call babysitter, ask her to come in early, can she, please? Sorry to be so flaky.
8:31 and a half pm, today - call waiting: wait, no, we don't need you in till 12:00.
8:31 and fifty seconds, today - Sorry, Babysitter, you can come at the previously discussed time. Thank you for being so flexible.

And that's showbiz, folks!

My Bouquet of Flowers

kim | 23 August, 2005 10:23

Boy, was I cynical and bitchy last night in my posts! It's because I'm getting really far on my novel, and my novel is cynical and bitchy. I hope you will like it.

As an apology, I want to offer this information like a dozen apolgy roses:

I have this friend who is young, in her mid-30's - and for her living she uses the full capacity of her empathy and it shows in her face. Just imagine if you had a job where you could experience the full range of human emotions every thirty minutes! That sounds like heaven to me, but it can be hard on the facial lines. My friend, she has some, nothing too awful, just normal. Botox, thank the Lord in Heaven, is out of the question. She's had the glycolic facial, where they weren't particularly nice to her. She asked me what cream to use. Here are my recommendations:

1. She drinks plenty of water
2. She has plenty of fruits and vegetables in her diet
3. She exercizes well
That's the first hurdle

4. Creme de la Mer - sorry, kids. It's what works. It simply does. I love it. It does have mineral oil in it, so if you don't like that, you can use Creme de Elegance Reperataur by Kiehl's, which has beeswax which is more easily assimilated into the skin and is not as toxic and fake.
5. The lymphatic drainage facial at SoHo Sanctuary, which I've had and is amazing.
6. Higher tech is the one at Tracie Martyn, but why not try natural first?
7. SPF 25 by Kiehl's which comes in oil-full and oil-free after your Creme has soaked in.
8. Add a little Olive Oil to your diet and fish or anything with Omega 3's (but make sure it's pure fish oil and not from polluted water and also make sure that the dose is proper for you and that the brand is reputable - you're on your own with that!)
9. Meditate
10. Try Natalia Rose's Raw Food Detox Diet. Now's a good time, because it's still hot.

If anyone tells you what position to sleep in, please smack them, or send them to me and I will smack them for you. Tell them you are not a Geisha, you are just trying to get a little healthier.

I hope this means we can still be friends.

Tonight's Wedding at the Ritz Carlton

kim | 19 August, 2005 19:55

"It's not really my wedding," the bride said on the phone during our first conversation a few weeks ago, "we already got married. It's my mother's wedding."

She got my name from a friend who was a back-up singer for a really hot Latin act a few years ago, perhaps even before I was married. You can't imagine how long my number sits in someone's book before they use it. Tonight, her wedding for her mother's benefit was at one of the Ritz Carltons in town. There are two. I hate these corporate, cheesy monstrosities - I'm such a hippie - until I get in one and I want to eat finger sandwiches in my white robe while I get a pedicure. But no such luck for me, I'm working.

Up I go to the room where she's getting her hair done. She's a beautiful woman, so there's really nothing to ruin in her makeup, it will be a breeze. The hairstylist is blonde with a grounded but bubbly personality. Blonde hair, blue eyeshadow, gloppy lashes. It totally works for the hairdresser thing, but it's pretty theatrical. She's so nice, I go in and chat for a while after I set up and also to get water for my liquid liner. Laura Mercier, if you want to know. Black Ebony, good stuff. If I show you the view of this place: maybe it was of the Statue of Liberty with God's light breaking through the clouds and shining on her in the middle of the Ocean like a cosmic spotlight or maybe it was the lush, green perfect order of Central Park with the leaves just slightly turning. Some things I'll never reveal, and since I've seen both, why not let you enjoy both? Then the hair was done. I've seriously never seen such a beautiful hairdo. This hairdresser was nice, cool and did amazing work. However, a slightly political discussion ensued about the law, since the bride was a lawyer and I had a legal question, and she answered and the hair dresser said, "wow! I don't even understand what you guys just said!" Which, if it were me, I would keep that to myself. But we were here for beauty, not to take the SAT.

So we were trying to pick out earrings for this bride and she brought in a mini-jewellry box and opened it up and in it were about a collective $1 Million in diamond jewellry. So we picked over it - yes, no, no, no, no, yes. The bride had to go into the other room for a minute. And I said that she shouldn't wear the necklace and the earrings because the necklace would be too much. It would distract from the beauty of the look. It was not rocket science. I am not Harry Winston. Perhaps it might not be instinctual to some, but the question was raised and I answered it in a logical and authoritative manner.. The hairdresser agreed.

When the bride came back the hairdresser said to her. "You know what I think? You shouldn't wear the necklace and the earrings because the necklace will be distracting from the earrings. I really think you should just wear the earrings." I looked at her neutrally and she looked at me wide-eyed, like she had not only? just stolen my line but also tried to wrest the authority in the room. I see this every day in the playground.

Later I asked her if she did weddings mostly and she said she worked in a salon and that she did weddings, destination weddings. What did I do? Oh, freelance, television. I was going to say that I wrote a book you dumb-ass bully, but I didn't because she wasn't worth it. And I asked if she ever used makeup and she said she did makeup herself. Because some of her brides didn't know about makeup or they could do their own, but she was all about hair. I think because it was also growing inversely inside of her skull as well as without. So, you see, by walking in the room, by her account, I had stepped on her profit. Even though the bride asked me first.

You know what else I've found in the playground? When I was little I was forced to be friends with a little girl who used to kick me, punch me, boss me around,? threaten me and hijack my birthday parties. I was so happy when, in seventh grade, I became really popular and she was run out of town by the coolest boys. I thought I was the only one, but the world is filled with those kinds of bitches. People who look nice, act nice, do good work, but are really only want to control their quadrant of the sandbox. So pathetic.

The bride, however, was a dream. Beautiful, smart, down-to-earth and easy to do. She was just not convinced that I wasn't putting purple on her. It's amazing how many people see purple in shimmering taupe eyeshadow. I just don't understand. Someone please explain that one to me. But it didn't last too long and I easily regained her confidence after showing her in the light, what purple eyeshadow looked like. When she got into her dress she looked unbelievable. She took my breath away and I got all happy.

I love doing weddings. They renew my optimism, and if I'm in the right room at the right time at the right hotel, I might be able to snag a little finger sandwich of tuna on white bread.

The Difference is a Brush

kim | 30 July, 2005 08:50

We are starting to take the kid to Temple on Friday nights. It's great, he's so cute, blah, blah. But here's the thing: last week I went in with frizzy hair, just half up because I wasn't able to dry it and last night I blew it out with my Ceramic & Ion brush (#8, which is a little huge, acutally) and not only did it dry in 3 minutes, but I got so many compliments on my new hair cut. That it was the best hair cut ever. I know ions are supposed to dry it faster, but I didn't know they were that fast. But they are. And now it's so much easier for me to be foxier faster. Yay.

Reflections on Mom's Night Out

kim | 27 July, 2005 10:29

I didn't want to go to Mom's Night Out Number Five. I just wanted to stay home and write. And I certainly didn't want to go to the meat packing district, which is supposed to be so cool but is laughable with posers and rejects from Sex and the City. Where is one to acquire a tranny prostitute in our cleaned up New York? So it was my hunger to work combined with my townie arrogance (which I choke on, there's so much of it) that had me wanting to stay in my little hut in the sweltering heat and not socialize.

But there was my new 4" round ceramic brush to try out and my eyes to do. I have not had makeup on in two weeks. And my hair has looked like shit since I got it cut. I can't blow it out properly. This brush has given me a new hairdo, practically. And I did alot of black eyeliner and a sheer red gloss from Keihl's - the one in the pot. It's the best. Golden Berry. Smells like a golden berry, too. And since I've been in this detox diet, my skin is passing alot of toxins and it's all bumpy so I got this exfoliant Collective Well Being Honey Buff and my skin is looking better. If you haven't checked out the beauty section in Whole Foods, please do so now. It's awesome. So from the inside out, it's all coming together and I felt okay going to that trendy spot. And I had a great time.

All my mommy friends are beautiful and well turned out, and as a table we all sort of look good. Last night we were not directly hit on (like the time before by this rude waiter) but we were cat called a few times. And I actually think this older man followed me downstairs to the bathroom to stage a bumping into or something. And although after having a baby I can assure men everywhere that I can say with certainty I do not have what you want, sir, it was kind of a nice compliment. I used to get infuriated, but now I think it's slightly pathetic but a little funny. I mean, can you imagine shouting at a person on a street? Or following them down stairs? And the men who do it are getting older and fatter. Not me, I'm getting younger and thinner. Used to be the younger ones liked me. It's just funny how I see the world regarding me differently, or shall I say some not regarding me at all. I have changed. Motherhood has made me into a different person and given me roots (literally and figuratively - you should see how gray I've gotten!) that I did not have before. I like it and it's given me the opportunity to let fall away all that's not important to me. It was never so stark as last night. I don't really want to be in the middle of a pick up scene. I just want to be home here with the guys that I love so much already.

Writing a Blog Entry is Easier than Writing a Book

kim | 24 July, 2005 14:43

But I'm doing it anyway. There's alot of decaf involved and many frantic messages to my friend who's helping. I am getting so far along, though. It feels great. There is not much makeup on my face but I did just get the fall collection from Nars. Holy God in Heaven is it gorgeous.

People always ask me what my favorite line is and I tell them it's impossible to say. But if I had to choose, if I were on an island and you twisted my arm or with held chocolate until I cried uncle, I would have to say that I would pick Nars. And MAC and Urban Decay and Laura Mercier and Giorgio Armani. Kevyn's line is gorgeous and I hear amazing things about Stephane Marais which I haven't used, per se, but have played around with the textures. But what Nars has got in store for you this fall, hold on to your hats! It's not shy, I'll tell you that. Sultry plums, browns and reds. Really sheer and dark and luscious. Yum. Ooh, and I like Delux Beauty, Benefit, Stila and La Mer, too. And Amazing Concealer. It's amazing. It might replace Dior Anti-Cernes for me, I'm not sure yet.

Putting My Body Where My Blog Is

kim | 22 July, 2005 23:40

I believe in beauty from the inside out. Before I got pregnant I was an organic, macro-fishatarian with cookies (mostly sweetened with SuCaNat) on the side. When I got pregnant, I could not stuff enough cheeseburgers down my cake hole and I had a disgusting chocolate shake (disgusting because of the man with mucous who would prepare them) and pizza and, oh, Gary Null would never stop throwing up if I told him what I ate when I was pregnant. It was completely out of my control, Gary, completely hormonal. Vegetables made me sick.

Now that I have not been pregnant for some time I am back in the groove. I met this amazingly beautiful woman in the health food store who wrote a book called the Raw Food Detox Diet and I've been doing it, albeit slowly and slightly modified. I am using the Jason Red products right now for normal/oily skin and I'm doing Pilates every other day and a little Yoga on the other days. I'm going to the gym tomorrow. And by doing, I mean, starting again tomorrow after my mostly successful at the beginning and then crumbling as time went on during my vacation. I have had two green juices in the last two days and I am working my way back. I was on the plan for, like, three weeks and my clothes were falling off of me and my skin looked amazing. I felt great, centered and connected to myself.

I guess if I was the type of girl that didn't get a blemish with every toxin that entered my body then I could eat like crap and sit on my ass, but that's not the kind of girl I am.

On vacation I realized that our bodies are gifts from God and that we need to take care of them for the short amount of time we have them. If we don't have time to properly feed, clothe, rest and exercize our bodies, then we should try to adjust a little something here and there to make it easier for us. Even if it's just to breathe deeply for a few minutes a day.

So I'm back on track and it feels amazing.

Gone Fishing

kim | 22 July, 2005 23:36

Sorry. I was blocked from my website by my computer for a week. Then I'm getting internet spam like a bad case of herpes and it takes hours to remove. I just can't keep up with it. Then we went on vacation. Glorious, perspective changing vacation.

I apologize for the absence. I'm back now. I'm even thinking of updating my other pages. That was a joke. I should be doing that every week. But what would you prefer: some sage beauty advice that you could hire me for and get it personalized or a novel, written by me?

When you're a mother, you've got to make choices. And I choose to sleep four hours a night, people.

Air brushing

kim | 01 July, 2005 20:18

Today I picked the air brush back up again. It's like a snake - hold it the wrong way and you will get hurt. But as long as you know what you're doing, you're fine and everything will turn out okay.

So far it has.

Welcome Home

kim | 28 June, 2005 21:23

Today, after almost two and a half years of not working on one particular show, I returned. Just to fill in. I was met with such warmth, it was so great to be back. This is a land where freelancers have sort-of job security and some benefits, but through a different channel.You belong, but you don't. Anything can be revoked at any time, but there is a lioness who protects your job, tooth and nail. It had been a long time since I had been met with such with love, true respect and admiration. I left that job to go into something completely different. Although I did so to support my book, it was one of the worst professional experiences of my life.

I am not sad that I left my beloved job, in a way. I was working with one of my favorite people in the world, the crew was the nicest I'd ever worked with and I loved my close co-workers. But I shared a room with a prickly person and the hours sucked ass. Also, I needed to expand my horizons. I felt stuck in a rut and I needed to fly the coop. Most importantly, I got pregnant and could no longer work full time, go to acting school and gestate.

Now, I seem to be in the full swing of things, fielding phone calls twice and three times a day - can I pick up this shift or that one? I had to turn someone down for a job recently that would have me working from 7:00 am one day till 11:00 at night, and then 6:00 the next day. I had to say no and then my hours were modified so I could come in and help.

I am suddenly blessed with an embarrassment of riches in the entertainment business while I had been trying to work with private clients more. Who knows how this Universe works? All's I know is that I am tired and I have to turn around and do it tomorrow.

Pilates is happening. The food is becoming more sane. Now, I am going to have to try to write my novel in the most unconventional way? - one word at a time, perhaps not all those moments strung together cohesively.

In other news, I got spam-spewed tonight. Like, hundreds. Spam people should be ashamed of themselves. I think they must smell really bad and have greasy hair and big pizza faces. You know?

Coach, Put Me Back In

kim | 23 June, 2005 21:07

I'm going back in. To a scary place. To a place I've been before...television. Yes, folks, going back to the professional world for brief periods of time here and there. I've already got two gigs lined up. Never has there been a time that I yearn more for private clients than the thought of going back into television.

I will not name names, so don't think I will. I will not describe scenarios until it's after a grace period and then I will supress recognizable facts.

For example: I worked somewhere the other day. A colleague used an air brush. I (curse word) hate air brushes. They make people look like teddy bears or the doll facsimile of themselves. Yeah, it works for tv, but I don't think that well. Plus. they are so toxic. I think people who paint with air brushes on paper wear masks. Because there are microscopic particles of paint that land happily and easily in the scilia of the air brusher's lungs. But I guess masks a) don't look cool and b) don't inspire confidence in the method and, finally c) the people using them probably haven't thought of it. But the woman's makeup - meaning the way the makeup artist did the makeup was beautiful. She's a really amazing artist; she has done it every, single day for the last 10 years. The thought of that makes me want to choke (the atomized makeup in the air notwithstanding). I realized today that I am a commitmentphobe. How do you do the same thing in and out every day and get better at it; but change at the same time? How do you grow if you're standing in the same place all the time? I guess plants do it.

Writers, too.?

What Lipstick Would Tony Soprano Wear?

kim | 22 June, 2005 20:14

Here is a secret I will share with you: if you feel like you're not having your best day, put on some lipstick, smooth your hair back and pretend that you are Tony Soprano. Don't act like Tony Soprano! But unleash your inner bad ass and ask him to take over for a few minutes while you step out back to lick your kitten paws. I wish someone told me to do that this morning. I was not really at the top of my game. Bummer.

And for those of you who care to know: this is not a site devoted to, a user group designed around nor am I a defender for or against the doodlebops. I do not give a shit about them and now that they've changed their time slot, they are even less relevant. The sad fact of my life is that those two posts get the most comments, and the comments keep pouring in. My search string is all about the Doodlebops. There's even gay bashing comments, which is totally uncool. Like people google the Doodlebops so they can leave anti-gay epithets on my website. My beauty website.? People offended that I said that they are over the top and their makeup is scary. Please, people, do yourself a favor: at Blogger? you can set up a FREE WEBSITE - please do so and then devote your own time, energy and resources creating an online love letter to a children's show. Please. This is a makeup and beauty website run by? a woman who takes private clients. It's also America and I'm allowed to critique a show if I want.

Thank you, and good night.

Gee, My Hair Looks Terrific

kim | 21 June, 2005 22:02

I try to space out my hair color between jobs. Not that I only work once every six weeks, but I try to make it fall right before an important job. Tomorrow, freelance crack of elbow job. Love it. Happy to be doing it. So early, though. I love television. I love the drama. I love the deadline. I love the payoff. I love it.

I also love private clients and I'm going to start booking one a week. Just so you know. That's the plan. So sign up before I'm booked, baby.

The hair would have looked slightly better tomorrow if the kid had not fallen on his face in the middle of an Esther William's style sprinkler system in a playground we never go to. What am I supposed to do, say, "suck it up, kid. Sorry you're less than a year and a half, but mommy's hair looks fabu and she needs to continue to look fabu for tomorrow." My hair curls in unruly ways the nano second it is exposed to water. And Kirsti did such a nice blow out today. Boo hoo. In other news, how cute is the kid that he romps around screaming and laughing in the water? I would definintely walk around with a Jew-fro anywhere for that.

In other, other news, I'm over pink lip gloss. I'm into sheer tawnies and sheer reds for the mouth and cheeks. If anyone knows where I left my girlhood, you can email me at kim@iamprettynyc.com. But I'm not pining for it too much, I am enjoying being a woman.

Mozilla is Pretty and Random, Slightly Boring Beauty News

kim | 20 June, 2005 22:30

My computer was dead and now it is alive, in part because of my tech guy Adam (who should teach math to all math-phobic women and girls - he's my tech god) and the other part because Noah told me about Mozilla Firefox. Now my computer is alive and I love it. I was so scared.

In beauty news, I just found out that the kid is probably allergic to soy. I am so nervous to simply revoke his formula, I was trying to make an easy transition for him but I also want to alleviate his full body rash that he's had for the past six months immediately. So, tomorrow it's almond milk blended with bananas. I'm so sick over this, I might not be able to sleep. I met this groovy nutritionist in the health food store, Natalia Rose, who wrote the book The Raw Food Detox Diet, as I was muttering to strangers that my son won't eat anything any more. She happened to be a nutritionist and I'm all about that kind of nutrition. She's so moderate, though, that her plan sounds palatable. I am going to call her crying tomorrow about the baby. You watch and see. I haven't had that much amazing luck in my life but that was a nice one from the Universe. Thanks, Universe.

Also, today I got blasted with that filthy playground sprinkler water because the kid can't stay out of the sprinklers. He will stand in there with his head cocked until his teeth are chattering and his lips are blue. I had to take off his fancy sandals and let him walk around on the cold, filthy, wet ground. But to see him so happy - who could deny their child this in the summer? It was completely impromptu but I happened to have a change of clothing so that was nice; but I got sprayed and my hair, which was blown out, got messed up. It was a happy accident - the ends got all funked up and now I finally understand my new hair do! I'm glad I do because tomorrow I'm going to get it colored and Kirsti is going to kick my ass for having it cut, not by her. But I will be able to justify the coolness of it now. Sometimes all it takes is an errant romp in the sprinklers to show you where your real beauty lies.

Heat and Art and History

kim | 15 June, 2005 08:19

Yesterday I was taking the kid to a museum because the heat was unbearable and he is sick. Again. My doctor assures me that he is not immuno-compromised; that kids get 10-14 colds a year. We are speeding toward our quota but have not met it yet. On my way to the museum, I saw?my Early Renaissance Art History teacher from college. Art History was my minor and?although I would have really loved it to be my major, you're really nobody in Art History unless you go to Yale, you're of college-going age (as opposed to a "returning student"), being blonde doesn't hurt and your daddy should be somebody. I was older, going to a public college, there is no iteration of blonde that would really suit me and my daddy is nobody. I mean, he's a zero?plus being a?nobody and we're not even in touch - but that's?a different blog entry.

I would have said hello but I forgot her name. Even so, at a public college you get zillions of kids and this was, what - at least a?year or two ago that I finished college,?so I'm sure she wouldn't remember me. But I remembered her: she?did not possess natural beauty nor?was she?able to capitalize on her tall stature with a meager diet so as to maintain a slender silhouette - in a word, she was large and not that good looking. However, she made up for her visual shortcomings with a lovely Italian wardrobe. Nothing fancy, just perfect pieces that hung on her frame and did not skim one roll of fat. Matte jerseys and gaberdines and such. Her shoes were always interesting but?comfortable yet stylish and she wore these great black cashmere shawls, as you would imagine she would. She didn't have that much hair, but she styled it beautifully in a dark blunt cut and wore?a matte red lipstick. And her voice was beautiful - like a comforting but authoritative mother, so it was amazing to listen to her. Not unlike Kathy Bate's voice, if Kathy Bates was teaching Art History in a city-funded college.

In yesterday's heat, she was positively expiring. Simply melting. Her dark hair ,which had gotten gray, was clipped behind her in a sloppy-ish pony tail?and her mouth, nay, her whole face was in a disgusted, upside down yuck of an expression. However, she had the cleverest ochre handbag that was covered with circles in the same leather and color. She walked down the street in a modified sashay, somewhere between a Geisha's small steps and the swishy sexual confidence of a young debutante.?Other than her face, she was the picture of composure. I imagined that her father left her gobs of money and her mother taught her how to make the best of herself with that money. She was quite a regal picture walking by, suffering along with the rest of humanity.

It just goes to show you, it's not what you get - it's what you do with it. Go forth and?create the best you that you can with all the scraps that God, your momma?and your daddy?gave?'ya.?

My Hope for HDTV

kim | 13 June, 2005 12:33

HDTV is coming. Perhaps you?read the small article in the Times Magazine. I've been thinking about writing?on?this subject for some time.?So?here's what I think about it:?good. Bring it.?

HDTV is stupid in many ways: who cares if the football looks more like a football??What's the point of that? Because it's the actors and actresses that are going to have the problems.?Once we realize that everyone is not perfect, that?we all?have lines,?wrinkles, blemishes and some of us actual warts, fans are going to freak?out. We are a society obessed with perfection in unrealistic ways and we cut ourselves open and shove things in or take things out of our bodies; we chemically burn our faces; we add toxic ingredients to our livers and brains via our skin and hair, for what? For more money and power, because that's what it comes down to. What's going to happen to all those celeb magazines??Is the entire entertainment industry going to??be replaced with 12 year olds?What will happen to James?Woods, Edward James?Olmos and Brad Pitt??

So what if HDTV showed us that we are not immune from the human condition? That age, gravity and humanity are all a part of life and we take it easy on the bleaches, the acids and?the scalpels? Instead?of escalating looking good like it was an arms race maybe we could start getting some self acceptance around here rather than working for money to mutilate ourselves.

Or maybe more people would just start going to the theater to get away from being so close to everyone. That would?be really cool, too.?

Happy Birthday, Joan Rivers!

kim | 08 June, 2005 21:22

Joan Rivers is the walking, mummified poster party girl for the plastic surgery industry. I am not a fan of plastic surgery. But I am a fan of Joan's and I'll tell you why: she has guts. She's been through millions of iterations in Hollywood and has kept going. Do you know how hard that is? Worse, she's done it antagonizing people all along. And even if she hasn't made a joke of herself out right, there is a certain ridiculousness to how stretched and pulled she has become. She's got to be in on the joke, no?She who made a living off of telling Elizabeth Taylor jokes. She who has made a living scrutinizing every errant underarm hair of every celebrity. Clothing designers, hairstylists, aestheticians and, especially, makeup artists owe a debt of gratitude to that dusty old broad. You know how old she is? 72. And you know how old she looks? 72. Just stretched, pulled and glossed 72, but come now, really Joan. It's obvious. But just like our inappropriate aunt, we'll put up with you. Because you're funny as hell. Or we remember with fondness when you were.

Morning Gig

kim | 02 June, 2005 21:47

This morning I went to my some time morning gig, at the crack of - er, elbow and did a little thing I like to call makeup. I have said before, I love working early and I love working. I?so miss the morning grind of working in tv: the cameraderie, the thrill of seeing your work on?national television, the?free danish.?It's a great organizing principle and to be able to do makeup at the crack of - er, elbow starts my day off right. Additionally, I was lucky enough to?receive a free? hair cut in what was supposed to be a slightly sexy manner but now I look more mom-ish than ever before. Further, I spied a chubby German man giving me the hairy eyeball the other day. To wit: I seem to have left my sex appeal on the delivery table. Oh, well. I have my two men now: my husband is still attracted to me and the kid is over the moon in love with me. Today I feel like a slightly frumpy, but?lucky, chyck. That's feminist for chick.

How To Look Good In a Picture

kim | 30 May, 2005 21:09

Look at the camera.

Pretend your high school boyfriend is standing behind it. Before you knew how messed up he was.

Now, remember your very first kiss. How the side of his face looked. If he was wearing cologne. Did he cradle your head around your ear as your head tilted back to meet his, slipping his fingers through your hair or did he wrap his arm around your shoulders?

What did his back feel like?

What did he smell like?

How soft were his lips?

Did he taste like cigarettes, ice cream or just perfect, like a boy?

How soft was his tongue?

Was he slightly rough with you, showing you who was boss or was he gentle but firm? I bet he knew his way around a girl.

Did the room/boulevard/street spin wildly as you kissed?

Did the rythyms of your mouths mesh perfectly?

Were you in awe that anything, ever could feel so good?

Did you wish it could never, ever end?

Was it dark when you stopped?

Now look in the camera again?- and smile.


kim | 24 May, 2005 19:52

Will I ever act again? I spent two years studying at?a prestigious studio program and was six weeks pregnant at the end of it. That fall I was a reader for an audition class and I was huge. Enormo. The problems I had while I was studying that didn't let me fulfill my full potential was a distracted (to say the least) but very famous teacher and an instrument with too much meat on it. I've just never been comfortable in my skin and to be an actor one must be. That and I was working three jobs and coming out with a book.

It was the second biggest dream of my life and now it's on the back burner. Will it ever move up to the front? I think, maybe, that time for me has come and past. I'm not sure. Who knows? I'm very much in the hallway right now with alot of things.

Can You...

kim | 17 May, 2005 21:52

Wheel your child and your suitcase filled with makeup into a cab and go to work? Can you unfurl your kit in a weird location with your right hand because your child,?who will not let go of you because he is too overwhelmed, is on your left hip? Can you do a whole face of makeup with said child on hip while it is very hot, including liquid (okay, gel) eyeliner? With barely any lighting?

Can you do that after a whole day filled with cleaning, returing garments, gift purchasing, re-scheduling and scheduling appointment, editing and hair-dying? Can you see that fellow through to his new bedtime, which is two hours later than his previous bedtime? Can you still write your novel after moving non-stop from 7:00 in the morning? And pop some dinner in the oven for your man? And keep the house clean?

I can.

Mom's Night Out III

kim | 12 May, 2005 20:32

I was sick for Mom's Night Out II. Deux.

Growing up in New York, you would never find me in a large restaurant or bar. I liked the out of the way places - the places where the bridge and tunnel crowd would not congregate. If I or any of my friends saw any high hair we would snorfle and guffaw and role our eyes and smoke our cigarettes. I particularly liked to blow smoke rings when I was feeling contentious. I don't smoke anymore so sometimes I have to blow mental smoke rings.

So when I walked into Tao, featured on Sex and the City, like, a decade agoall the old?judgements kicked in. And then I realized that all the people in there shouting, drinking, grinding in the dark (oh, it was so dark - if there was no grinding there should have been) are just trying to have some fun and let off some steam just like me who, thirty minutes prior was holding a wet, slippery baby who now hates the water so he messed up my hair with it. My hair looked like shit and I haven't been able to work out and I was just a mess. But I slapped some makeup on and that seems to distract people for long enough or perhaps they just don't want to say anything mean. I can't tell.

And you know what? We had a blast. I shouted through my hacking cough (I highly recommend Robbitussin DM for those of you who are having that awful phlegmy hacking emphasematic cough and post-nasal drip) and just had a hoot of a time. It's so nice to eat with grown ups. And to be allowed to sit down through a whole meal. And to eat raw fish and not have to say, no, that's mommy's and have to contend with a tempertantrum, publicly or privately.

A funny thing happened at the end of the evening: despite the fact that I am the fattest one in the group some of the mom's told me that I looked so pretty in the pictures (they didn't say I was the fattest, but I am - not that I'm fat, but the fattest. You get my point) every single time. I told them I know all my flaws and I have my one pose that works for me. And I like to get ridiculous in front of the camera and act like a big ham. So if you want a beauty tip for tonight: cheat your head to the side (your skinnier side), chin down slightly but shoulders down, and then look at the camera like he's Tom Cruise. Unless you like straight guys. Just joking. I'm still so snotty.

Blush for Spring

kim | 07 May, 2005 07:59

I've finally updated my secrets section. Sorry it's taken so long. It takes so long, though. So I've given you a little lesson in all the different types of blushes. If you have questions, you can ask them in the comments section.

Just remember: powder is good for all types of skin. It won't make you look dry if you are dry but cream is a nice option for you. Gel and stain look good on all skin types, but if you have blemishes around your cheeks, it will be hard to pull off because the bumpies will grab the color more so it will give you a freckle-y effect. Not attractive. I speak from experience,?having?suffering from milia my whole life. Not exactly the note I want to end on, so rest assured I will have gifts for mom in the Moms section and I will update pinks. I really haven't been walking around with my camera and have not been that inspired and want a Nikon D-70, so I haven't been updating my flog so much. I will get on that. Promise.

National Clear the Air Day

kim | 06 May, 2005 21:41

Today I made up with two of my dearest friends. I'm walking on air. You know why we were not talking? Making two very long, boring stories short: in part - Weddings. Mine, hers, theirs - they all suck and make you lose friends. Come on, you know it's true. So do yourself a favor and don't invite your friends to your wedding. Or have someone else plan it.?Then all of you show up like it's someone else's party.

I even called my old BFF to say it's National Clear the Air Day. Partially because I want to walk around feeling okay and not with old hurts and partially because I want to learn more about myself so I can be of greater service to humanity. NO SHIT. Really. I'm goofy, I know.

So unless it's like an old boyfriend (unless you want a booty call and at least have the courage to admit that to yourself and don't use self-knowledge as?a bullshit?excuse) or someone who abused you (trust me, you don't owe them an apology), call someone up and say you want to clear the air. You might re-ignite a friendship and you will definitely learn something about the other person's perspective which, I'm sure, you weren't counting on. So swallow your pride and have some fun!

Spring Makeup

kim | 04 May, 2005 18:57

I have to say that I'm feeling a little more grown up these days. A little more subtle, less glossy. I never thought I would give up my gloss and sparkles but to tell you the truth, I think I'm ready.

So I think I'll get some of those tinted lip moisturizer things. Tarte, Delux Beauty and Neutrogena all have nice ones. And maybe I'll go by MAC and pick up a few lipsticks. Nothing neutral, maybe something with some pink or peach. One day I am going to create a color that I always mix to get, I'll let you know when I will.

I'm thinking about doing a lipstick/gloss line. Whattaya think of that?

Last Week in April: Recap

kim | 01 May, 2005 19:33

I loved working this week. I am still torn - I don't want a job job, not that they're so easy to come by, but if they offered me this job, I would take it. It's so nice to be back in the work place. But I'm happy to be home. I will be doing an amazing shoot with Noah this week, sending out five pitch letters, resuming work on my novel in earnest and working out. Clearly, I will sleep when I'm a little bit older.

Recapping, I learned a few valuable lessons this week:

First, that I am a damn good makeup artist. I finally believe it in my heart. I love doing it and it shows. I honor the people that I work with in the way I do their makeup. Plus, I just have a knack for it.

Second: I love sugar. Anything with sugar, really. I just love it and it's my default position in a stressful situation. I'm not sure how that's going to change - it has before, but I just don't know when it's not going to be a problem.

Third: I have an admirable work ethic and I'm going to bear down on it so I can slog through my first draft by the end of May.

Forth: Other people are enjoying opportunties that I should be enjoying right now. I don't know why that is; but I believe that all that success is available to me. Serenity Now.

America's Next Top Model - So Ugly

kim | 27 April, 2005 19:20

As much as I love watching gay men and bitter, overly made-up women shame 18-21 year old girls for not being sexy enough or not having what it takes to be succssful, I think instead what I will do tonight is work on my writing.

Because I've been working so early and have been getting pretty much zero sleep, I let the Omer slip. Can I read my little booklet and catch up or did I blow it? Or can you catch up to counting and do all the little exercises in the book all together so that you can receive Torah? Anyone?

Not At Liberty to Say

kim | 26 April, 2005 19:06

You really should not blog about work. For those of you who actually did see the post I wrote last night, I yanked it quickly because I realized it would offend the wrong people because I was telling the truth but making it funny.

I'm working this week for a major corporate concern, let's call it that, and so far I've been inspired by co-workers, found out that I am actually inspiring to people who I thought always inspired me, complimented by someone who previously sort of dismissed me because I was fat before and now I'm in the range of normal and was wearing a minimizer bra and so was not as intimidating, complimented by someone whose career I am suffocating with jealousy to have, almost had to do the makeup of someone I mocked on my Laws of Nature blog and was in a room while a famous hanger-on told a secret about a famous friend that is suspected of a certain practice but it is a secret so shocking that none would dare even think it. SCANDALOUS!

I'm having the time of my life. You want me to ruin all that? No way. I will give you drips and drabs in a delayed fashion. But we all must be patient. The lid can't be blown off the roof all at once. Everybody would be so cold.

Existential Movie Review

kim | 24 April, 2005 13:29

If you have a great script and a great director and a decent budget is it better if you have big name actors who maybe are not the best sprinkled among beautiful actors who can act or would it be better if you got really great actors who could act, regardless of their stature or who their mother is?

I wish Mark Wahlberg would learn how to act. He's simply divine to look at, how amazing would it be if he really took us on a ride rather than pounding away at that same note DING! DING! DING!. Dude, it's called William Esper Studios. You have a career, now get a job. And Jason Schwartzman is also nice to look at and has such a beautiful voice why, oh, why can't he commit to the moment? She asked from behind her computer...

I Heart Huckabees is a wonderful movie. With some pretty?decent acting. I'm in this existential place right now, re-evaluating everything, that's why the two life-questioning movies in two days. The first night of Passover was last night and tonight we begin the Omer, meditating each day on one of the 49 aspects of G-d. I usually get to day 14 and forget but I will try again this year to go through my little flip book, er, religiously every day. I guess I haven't gotten to the sticking-to-it aspect yet. Hopefully this year! In the Holy Land!

Pretty Quantum

kim | 22 April, 2005 22:18

I just wrote this uintelligable post about the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know" and then got knocked off my computer. The take away point from the movie, which is great in theory, but is slightly annoying (I have a problem with Ramtha or whomever he channels through, it's hard for me to believe but at least she's nice to look at) is that we can create our reality and we can create our physical state and the more we love ourselves, the more we can learn about our world. Materialism is live and well, folks, but it's only going to bring us misery. I feel so much better after seeing that movie. Had a rough day.

It reminded me of a friend who called me crying the other day after a famous dermatologist berated her for having lines. She called me before the appointment. I said, they are going to try to sell you all manner of crap. Don't buy it. Now, she's friend but also a client and I always consult with her on whatever she's going to buy. Believe me, she calls me on her cell from Sephora every time. But this time, I really, really warned her. I said: they are wily. They will make you feel bad into buying things. Don't worry about me, she assured. She's a tough cookie. But who can resist insults? Or threats to one's beauty? It's disgusting and ugly but it's the common practice of my chosen profession. That's why I have this website and this blog.

There are more things in heaven and earth, my friends, than botox, restylane and glycolics. Just spend a few minutes meditating and send yourself some good messages and then you will at least have a fighting chance.

If nobody told you today, you are perfect just the way you are. Now go think some good thoughts.

The Cookie Fairy

kim | 20 April, 2005 11:26

Perhaps we've not discussed my love of cookies, but rest assured - I love them. Sometimes I have even thought of checking myself in to the Betty Ford Cookie Disorder clinic but then I think: no way, man. I've got this thing under control.

And for the most part I have. I'm squeezing back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and while I still have 10 lbs. to go to comfort, I'm moving in that direction. It's hard to exercize?until I finish the novel, which is going along swimmingly, I'm happy to report. And the Pilates contributed greatly to the TMJ because my form was poor and I wasn't stretching out, so I'm nervous to go back but it was only 22 minutes and therefore manageable.

So I'm eating salads and this morning I tried to order from a raw foods place and they were closed, so I just ordered a Greek Salad from a diner. No onions, no anchovies. And what do they do? Include a complimentary black and white cookie. I'M ONLY HUMAN, PEOPLE! How can I defend against the power of the black and white where worlds flip so that white is even better than the chocolate part? So, it will sit here on my desk and I will consider it for a while and after I'm done with my salad, I will eat off the glaze and leave the cookie and feel bad about myself.

Because who, in their right mind, can deny the Cookie Fairy?

Change of Pace?

kim | 19 April, 2005 21:11

Tell me what you think of this: I think what I am going to start doing is writing a little bit more about the beauty industry instead of my back fat and my kid. What do you think about that?

So, let's make it a poll:

For the back fat and against the beauty business, or against the kid and for some lipstick.

Please chime in. I'm just trying to serve you in the best way possible here.


kim | 18 April, 2005 21:04

I am nothing without a blow out. Truly. Back a while, I won't say how long ago or how old I was, my hair just up and fell out and grew back curly. Prior to that I had shiny, glossy straight hair that needed nothing except some sun to reflect the natural highlights. Now, if not properly tamed, it's scraggly an gray. I'm okay, but I'm no natural beauty.

The other day I was?going to a?private client and I blew out my hair and had a minimal amount of makeup on and some heels and I?happened to walk?toward my nanny and she said she didn't recognize me, that I looked sexy, and she wasn't used to seeing me that way. So pathetic. It was my hair.?

Looking Up

kim | 18 April, 2005 10:58

We just got the photos back from our shoot and they look fabulous, so there should be some new images posted shortly.

Today I will take a walk and, as much as I love him the way he is, get the kid's head-to-toe rash checked out

Bob's Here

kim | 15 April, 2005 10:20

It's the small things: you know what's pretty? Bob, the dishwasher repairman. He's just now splayed on his side on my kitchen floor with a flashlight up the broken butt of my dishwasher. He's obviously from the Bronx, you should hear his accent: deep with authority but resigned. As if he would say to every catastrophe, "yeah, well, what did you think was going to happen? Come here, stop crying, I'll give you a hug." He just strikes me that way. He's an older gentleman, black with lots of gray creeping into his afro, large glasses and a blue uniform on. Someone's grandpa.

But you know what? He's fixing the dishwasher. It's going to save me time, rough hands and ten more minutes after each meal that I can make sure the kid doesn't pull a bookshelf down on himself. Which is the next item on his to do list, I see him going to tick it off now.

Thanks, Bob. You'll never know how happy you made this family.

The Way You Look at Yourself in the Mirror

kim | 14 April, 2005 08:28

You know the way. You?blank-out any trace of expression on?your face, tilt your head to the side, give an artificial smile, turn your body slightly to the left. It's completely artificial and you never, ever look that way except when you are doing that weird pose. What you really need to do is look at yourself in the mirror at your (my) back fat, your chin fat, the way the light hits your blemishes or wrinkles, i.e. fix your worst problems under the worst case scenario, not stand like a doll in your best case scenario.

Yesterday I was taking the kid for a short walk to get some paper for a gift certificate someone is buying from me (someone said, "he's giving the gift of you," and that made me feel so good!) and some toys for the kid (he's obsessed with keys so I got him this garage from Parent's Magazine with keys that lock and unlock and push open - it's great) and some dinner and there was this woman. She was in her mid-sixties, maybe early seventies, with longish salt and pepper hair nicely waving in the breeze in?a black, fairly casual ensemble. She was walking in a fairly confident, determined manner when she took a pocket mirror out of her purse, held it up to her visage and cocked her head to the side and made that insipid smile. Like she turned into an obedient 16 year old girl. As if that sort of demure posturing was her beauty ideal for herself.


And we all do it. So do me a favor. You don't look that way. You don't need to soothe yourself that way. You look fine with all your little bumpies and shadows. Give a big, hearty smile to that!

What's So Wise About Wisdom Teeth?

kim | 09 April, 2005 19:57

If wisdom teeth were really that wise, they would come out while you're teething, not in your 20's and 30's so that you experience excruciating pain, can't eat, hear echos like you're talking into balloons (ballooooon! That's right honey, balloon) and can't close your mouth and then face the possibility of general anesthesia (a fate worse than death to you) because it's on the bottom. The fucker. Yeah, I cursed on my blog. You would, too, if your wisdom fucking tooth was coming in and you were over 25.

On a lighter note, I worked out today, so that's something. But it won't pull out my tooth.


kim | 06 April, 2005 08:31


I want to help you with your beauty questions. Please list them here. Big or small, brilliant or ridiculous, I want to know what you are concerned about and I will try to help. How's that sound?



It's A Beautiful Day!!!

kim | 05 April, 2005 08:41

When I was little, around 8ish, my mother was given to fits of passion on the street and would shout, at the top of her lungs, with her head tilted back upwards to heaven:?IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!!

I guess I used to think it was cool and funny and passionate until one day I realized it wasn't and when I requested, she stopped.

Today I will do a million things while the nanny is here and then I will go to a sample sale where, assuredly, nothing will fit across the large span that is my bosom and I will cry and hopefully find a nice handbag for cheap. I need to exercise, but I have two websites to keep up and other more pressing things. Did I mention the kid was up for literally 3 hours last night? I don't even care about that, I just want a few extra hours in my day, but that's not what I'm writing here.

Don't embarrass anyone today: your children, your friends or yourself. Okay? Just enjoy the day.

Focused and Raring to Go!

kim | 04 April, 2005 23:00

Tonight I met with someone who gave me some advice on my writing career and I'm so ready to go! It's not even funny! Rah rah rah! Here's what I suggest you do if you want to do something you have not before: get help. A mentor, a friend, a class. Then take all the information that you got and talk to an industry professional or two, weigh the balance and then make your decisions. Nobody has the path you do. You are unique, you will find your own way. And that's the truth, Ruth. Who used to say that? Nipsy Russel? You gotta help me out here, too tired to google. Falling down.


Oh, Yeah? Take That!

kim | 04 April, 2005 08:24

I just wrote a whole post about how monkey-wrenchish my life is these days: can't find the important receipt, can't find my three most treasured and oft-used makeup products, dishwasher breaks and the super's not around until 12, kid's up all night crying - but despite all that I am going to remain calm and elegant and serene. And then I post, and my computer freaks out and doesn't post. Here's the deal: I don't care what life throws my way anymore, I'm not getting ruffled. I'm sick of being ruffled, grounded sounds much better to me. I can't do it all on my own, meditation is going to help, but seriously, I'm going to pretend I'm okay and life is easy until it actually is. Because the other way is so not working for me

How Many Moms Does It Take To Start A Fight?

kim | 31 March, 2005 22:49

Two. But they both have to be overtired, over taxed and have had no sleep. Oh, right, that's overtired. So add in one more sleepy condition. Add in a sprinkle of spaciness, some olives and strawberries, some salami, a few tears and a dry-heaving son. And voila! Instant fight! But you're both too reasonable to stay mad, because you are too important to each other. And after all, isnt' that what husbands are for? We moms gotta stick together.

I'm Famous Part II

kim | 30 March, 2005 21:28

Pamela did an interview with me! My first interview! It's really an artist profile page, but I did answer questions. Hee hee.


kim | 29 March, 2005 12:49

Do you think if I changed my first name to Bunny and my last name to something more Polish and stopped eating I would become more mysterious? I would like to be more mysterious. Perhaps I should adopt a Franco-Hungarian accent as well. What do you think?


kim | 27 March, 2005 01:14

Today I am counting my blessings and I encourage you to do the same. Start with where you are right now.

Mike and I?had a really nice date tonight. I'm a little bit in love. After 10 years, man. He's so awesome. I'm a little giddy.


kim | 24 March, 2005 21:06

Please let it be known that I plan to get a Nikon D70 sometime this year so that I can start taking good pictures instead of conceptually good pictures.

Made My Day

kim | 24 March, 2005 18:50

I just got a thank you call from a client. It made my day. I love making people happy and feel good about themselves.?Sort of?like chocolate ice cream!

Delicate Flower

kim | 23 March, 2005 14:08

Lordy, it's hard to put yourself out there. I had a little discussion with the Slimer and it turns out his comment was totally innocuous. I guess I need to read my own website. It's hard for me to be seen. It's easier to just be plain and unnoticed. We teach what we need to learn somebody really crunchy once told me.

Today's Client

kim | 22 March, 2005 20:26

You know what? Today I had the sweetest client. She was a total makeup junkie (I'm going to get her to bring her drums of stuff over and we will dump it out, I'll make little collections for her and do face charts with each collection) so we had so much fun talking about everything. EVERYTHING! She grew up in NY just like me and we both used to go to Studio (54) at 15 and drink champagne while getting ready (okay, I drank Pink Champale on the street on the way, but whatever). That all was anecdotal and fun, but what really made my heart sing was that when I was done and I saw how pretty she looked, she really took it in and felt great leaving. I helped a woman feel great about herself today. That's cool.

Pretty Casting

kim | 20 March, 2005 21:53

I don't watch Deadwood for several reasons, the cheif one being that I have to clean up on Sunday nights. Plus, I don't want to cheat on Tony Soprano or Nate Fisher, so I'm just waiting for them to come back. I'm a very patient girl. But while I was stacking up board books (Big C little c what begins with c? Clean the fricking house all day long, c c c.) I walked by the tv with Deadwood playing from it and noticed Geri Jewell, Blair Warner's comedienne cousin with MS in a supporting role. What an inspiration: someone who I'M SURE? everyone said could never make it, they probably couldn't find a mental place for her in the entertainment industry. Not only does she get an amazing role in an amazing show on an amazing network, it's like the role was written for her and she actually got the part instead of a non-MS actress who would work with that as her impediment. Bravo to HBO for being so brave and bravo to Geri Jewell for persistance. I didn't even mention that she transitioned from a comedy career. Do you think George Clooney had anything to do with this?

A side note: the makeup on that show is awesome.


kim | 18 March, 2005 08:47

I am so excited! Business is booming. After the baby was born I took it slow, letting people come to me: my old clients, inquires from the book, referrals, and that suited me just fine. I really don't want to spend too much time away from the kid if I don't have to. I do have help for half the day usually, so that gives me plenty of time do do a quarter of what I really need to do, work on my website and work with private clients or on shoots.

But, oh, the joy! Now you know that I want you to embrace yourself as you are. I want you to be the best you you can be, but most of all I want to you to have self-acceptance. But it's a little easier when you know what you're doing and can actually reflect who you want to be rather than doing what you saw in a magazine when you were 16 and not having a clue how to change it. In a word, choice. I love giving women the power of choice.

Yesterday I had the most gorgeous client. She looked a little bit like Denise Richards, but?a little sexier. She was sweet, open, and she had almost everything in her makeup bag that she needed but was just using everything wrong. Wrong? Yes, okay, I said it: wrong. She was not bringing out the Mischa Barton in her, she was bringing out the?Pamela Anderson?in her. Is there anything wrong with Pam? No, on?the contrary. But she's a one trick pony (a very hot one trick?pony)?and not everybody can pull off that trick. And not everybody has to. And it was just because? my client?didn't know how to do?her makeup more?"herself-appropriate"?so she just did what she knew.

I will tell you a secret. And this is not much of a secret: if you are using black liquid liner all around your eye as eyeliner above and below? You need to call me for an appoinment. I'm sure you are gorgeous underneath that black eye, but how would anyone be able to tell?

Spring is around the corner, people. This weekend is going to suck but then it's flowers and sunshine. I can't wait. Do you want to have your vision obscured by all that black eyeliner? Chuck it!

If You Are Going Out Tonight...

kim | 16 March, 2005 19:25

Wear something really festive! Go all out! Wear red lipstick and high heels. Do your hair in velcro rollers, use hairspray, and tease.?Put on just a droplet too much perfume. Pretend it's the '90's and you're?P. Diddy.?Why? Because I'm in baby jail and I want you to have fun for me and then write me and tell me about it. Please? Really, I mean it.

But...if you're staying in and writing in your blog and have the impulse to let a train of thought run off into the distance...or want to create a double entendre...and intend on?using an elipsis...please be prudent and use only?three dots, because that's all there are to be had in an elipsis. Not four, not eight, not two and it's not up to you. If you are feeling particularly exclamatory, use the shift key and all of the characters above the numbers. If you want to describe another feeling with words, just sit there for a minute and let the word come to you or look it up in the dictionary. Hash it out in an aloud conversation with yourself. Just try, okay?

So red lips and/or three dots. Those are my reccomendations for tonight.

When a Young Girl's Fancy Turns to Lust

kim | 14 March, 2005 18:42

For lo, these last six days, the kid has been sick. First it started in his tummy which did a fabulous job of trying to get rid of the virus as much as it possibly could, if you know what I mean. For six days. Then it was the rash. I like to say we are in the boils stage of our Job illness. And now it's all compounded by strep throat. Which is rare in a 14 month old but does not indicate anything. What it does produce is a virulent hatred of orange flavored liqiuid anti-biotics. Trying to administer the offending liquid by spoon and then the dropper was not unlike?giving him innoculations. I just couldn't get it in his mouth from the bucking and the crying. Mike suggested we get a different flavor. Seeing as how my pharmacist had to make two phone calls just to get this rare stuff; so rare, in fact, that it cost $25 more than a regular perscription with insurance, I didn't think we had a choice of flavors. Turned out I was right but what he could do, the pharmacist told me, was add cherry flavor. Could ja? Wow.

So off I went with my?son's special, need-to-be-refrigerated, $35 antibiotic that tastes like shit to him?to the disgusting pharmacy. Not that the pharmacy itself was disgusting but the people desperately waiting for their perscriptions were hacking and moaning. One guy looked like he was going through the DT's. He was?wincing an awful lot.?So there I waited, pacing back and forth for 40 minutes comparing the pink grapefruit with the golden tubes of L'Oreal lip gloss. They were only $5.99 but I always like to wait just a minute before I buy something to make sure I need it. They are gorgeous.

Did I mention I look like hell? I won't tell you the last time I showered. It's just not polite. I have smudged mascara under my eyes. My hair's in a ponytail, but the regrowth is saying, "sproing" all over my head. In a word: I look nasty. I probably don't smell that tasty, either. But one man's poison is another woman's pussy because as I was walking back, a bull dyke -?an honest to goodness top -?looked at me as I was crossing the street. Not only looked at me, but looked at me fairly wolfishly. Like if we were in the Brambles, she might proposition me in a way that I might not understand was a proposition because I don't speak lesbian casual sex shorthand. But dude, she wanted me.

Only for a split second. But a girl knows these things.

Before I was pregnant, nay, my whole life since I developed quite voluptuously at 12, I have been getting stares and comments on the street because I live in New York and the men can be quite rude on the street. I hated it and it really did a number on me growing up with constant verbal assaults. Young girls are easy targets so as I got older, my energy changed but I could tell they were still looking but they also know that I would kick their ass. I have engaged, not very brightly, in one verbal fight. But then I saw the slip to my skirt was all the way up to my crotch and the see through overlay was exposing most of my legs. I may have said something, too. But since I got pregnant and after - nothing. It's like I don't even exist. Which is kind of nice. Or if I do exist, it's only to German guys who are like 40 lbs. overweight. Whatever. But I have never, ever had a girl give me that eye before. Does that mean that I look?like a?bottom femme? Or do I look like a butchy dyke who wants to have casual sex in the Brambles?

In any case, this illness is taking its toll on my beauty. I need a mani, pedi and my roots done. I need to sip lattes for a little while and recharge. If you want to do that with me, I'm going for it tomorrow at noon. I encourage you to do the same.

Here Comes The GORGEOUS Bride!!

kim | 12 March, 2005 21:15

Today I did a?bridal test.? I?never used to get?it right with brides. Celebrities? We get along famously. Private clients? I take care of them like my own little kittens. But brides? They are often confused. I want to look natural, they tell me; or: I want to look glamorous. They are always in flux and are using English to speak, but the wiring in their head is all crossed up in different circuits and plugs and holes that they do not know what the frick they are talking about and I can never decode their seemingly simple speech into what it actually means.

Then I met a woman who has a booming bridal business. Actually, I used to work with her behind a counter a million years ago. She's quite good. I saw her wedding portfolio and I realized - this is what all brides want! So I've been doing them that way ever since and I've been a smash hit.

But brides are also the most fun because you are working with them on this day that is completely filled with love. Nutty relatives notwithstanding, the rooms are always overflowing with good feelings and once they put that gown on? Goosebumps EVERY TIME!

I wasn't sure how this bride was going to work out. We disagreed on her colors, I thought they would be too neutral but I really believe that it's important to honor the bride and make it work. If you try to make her something she's not, then you're not honoring her essence. If the bride's essence isn't honored than what the frick is she doing with you as a wedding professional? But after I applied the colors they came out beautifully. She just needed me there to channel the beautiful bridal look for her. She is going to be magnificent on her wedding day. Together, we made a great team. If I can stay humble and respect the person facing me, I can learn something new every day.

Classic Style

kim | 08 March, 2005 08:48

When I worked on the Weekend Today Show, I met a man who changed things how I worked. He was calm, cool and collected - quite uncommon in the television business - he was poised and polished - also difficult at 4:30 in the morning on a weekend, and he was hot.

Lloyd Boston taught me that style is not only on the outside, it starts from the inside. Read the spotlight interview here.

Nice Date

kim | 05 March, 2005 23:22

Mike's been working very hard lately, so I decided to take him out on a date. We went to?Sumile which is Japanese for completely delicious, I think. The atmoshphere was really sweet as well - seafoam green walls with floating low wattage incandescent lights. Minimal and zen-ish, but also quite happy as well. Mike and I?had a blast, me especially because I sunk down into a chair with 3 pillows propping me up. We had three appetizers, three entrees and three desserts. So good. Although I wasn't crazy about my main entree, I loved the other eight dishes we ordered. Oysters with pineapple vinegar. Mike doesn't even eat oysters and hates vinegar and he loved these; Dungeness crab with caviar, avacado and yuzu gelee, this egg custard thing that was so amazing I ate it in lieu of my dinner, and I don't remember what all else. I basically have not stopped eating all day and tomorrow I'm sure my eyes will be swollen shut mostly because the intense amount of salt I ingested today.

If you're a guy, I don't know why you'd be reading my beauty blog, but if you're in search for women, sumile has them. And well dressed - not your meat-packing district Sex and the City posers; are men purported to eat there? Because there were cups filled with plunging necklines and lots of lip gloss.

The one slightly gross thing was that we were sitting next to a table filled with 20 year olds, like eight of them, all huddled around this older Ryan O'Neal type. It was obviously someone's dad taking all of his daughter's girlfriends out for dinner (from Greenwich or Westport to the Big City). But you know he was going home with one of them. Maybe it was the one who asked her friend when a song came on, "Oh, is this Sexual Healing?" which anyone could tell that it wasn't, and her friend nodded. This girl proceeded to do almost a caricature of a waspy girl dance in her seat, one in which she felt very, very sexy. And here I am making fun of her which is not nice, but the extent to which they were all trying to be so cool was the extent to which this creepy dad was going to take one of them home. For instance, he was telling, loud enough for everyone to hear, a rather scatalogical story about his dog, if you will, and they were all alternatingly enraptured or giggling. Tell me there's not something gross there. Talking about dog poop after a beautiful meal is partially in bad taste, but it's also a power play. Let me see how far I can push these girls, I think he was thinking. I've dated jerks like that before.?If they were paying maybe they would have allowed their disgust to show. I paid and I know I wanted to smack him. You can see that exchange here.

Three cheers for Mike. I married a good one.

Px: Create Sunshine

kim | 04 March, 2005 09:03


It's sunny here today! Let's go outside and play, that's what me and the kid are going to do. Eat an orange. Remember what and who you are grateful for (apologies for the ending preposition). Save even just $2 for a rainy day Put on a little lipstick because it's a little windy and you don't want gloss streaks across your cheeks. Sunscreen and sunglasses will help. Spring is so around the corner. New beginnings, end of hibernation. Flowers, kittens and puppies.

No, seriously, I'm totally psyched.


kim | 03 March, 2005 22:24

I just got an email from someone who was writing from Arizona and really needed to stay there but wanted to use my services. She suggested an E-consult and said she could pay me through Paypal. Well, she's my new business manager! I am now offering online Personal Makeup Shopping!!! I'm getting the Paypal account set up now. Just send me a few photos, a list of what you have, a few stores around you, we'll have a conversation about what you want, I will help guide you, give you a shopping list and send you a face chart. You get two follow up calls. $150. Whattaya think? Now every city can be pretty!!! Not that you already aren't, maybe that's just not the appropriate color eye shadow. You? know?

Stylist Needed

kim | 02 March, 2005 20:23

I need a stylist for our shoots. We have incredible ideas and can't execute some of them because of we don't have a stylist. If you are an amazing, nice, down to earth stylist who wants to do satisfying work and be a part of a fast-growing brilliant team, or if you know someone who is, please contact me at kim(at)iamprettynyc.com.



kim | 01 March, 2005 21:39

Did I mention I was an English Major? Poetry and short stories, that's what I wrote. I have not written a poem in a really, really long time. Maybe eight years.

On Sunday I went to a poetry reading where my dear friend Gretchen Mattox?read some of her poems from her book Buddah Box and I was so inspired. I love poetry; although I am often so intimidated by it, still. Tonight while doing a routine event with the kid, I had this experience where I felt my grandma flow through him and it made me so sad and I just sat down and the poem wrote itself. I submitted it to Literary Mama.

I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Kim - don't forget...

kim | 01 March, 2005 13:06

"...the people you knew and have left behind in good or bad ways.

There is a little left in each of us - of those we have loved and made happy, loved and hurt and didn't love and used."

Every once in a while I check my comments for spam because my website sometimes has a sign on it's ass that says, "insert spam here"?and it wastes like an hour of my precious time, so I'm a little vigilant. Then I get this comment from someone who I can't tell if it's an acutal website or not because the URL leads nowhere, so I delete it - just out of paranoia. So if I erroneously deleted your comment, you know who you are, I apologize.

Then I look back to October and this comment was posted last night. Excuse me, I used you? If I wasn't before, I find myself the giver in most of my relationships these days. I let go of people not because I'm using them, but because I realize they are using me. I would say that I cannot remember honestly using anyone, at least in the last 20 years. Which is way further back than I can actually remember, believe me. I went to my high school reunion and I couldn't remember half the people who were there and I went to a tiny, tiny school with 47 people in my graduating class. That a serious loss of brain cells. Sometimes I'm surprised I remember my own name.

Whoever posted this, please have the courage to come forward and email me so we can get this straightened out. I'm totally willing to apologize to you if I have truly hurt you. It's such a great feeling when someone rights a wrong, why don't you try it, you'll feel better! I know I will! I hate having lingering problems with people. Although, I don't speak to any one of my ex-boyfriends which I feel perfectly okay with, because how would making up end up; you know? On the other hand, if you are someone who knows me very, very well and you know that?it's not that hard to make me?think everything in a relationship is my fault and you're not willing to look at yourself and your stuff, then just please - leave me alone.

Whether it's through talking about it with me or on your own, I hope you find the peace you seek.



Oscar Wrap-up

kim | 28 February, 2005 05:23

Laws of Nature:

Gold is not that easy to wear. You may not have any bulges, if you do have bulges, then wear a girdle or wear black. Or navy, which was the third color on the red carpet. Unless you are Hilary Swank in which you may?challenge the boredom?of navy by wearing a dress which has a high neck, ruching all around the breasts and absolutely no back and barely even a tush.?But you must hire?invisible angels who will hold up your ample bosom in lieu of a brassiere.

In order to wear gold lipgloss you must have whitened teeth and fairly dark eye makeup.

A better bet is to wear the color that every?woman wearing gold or navy was wearing: a glossy dark neutral that is like your lips with a tan. Perhaps start with a light line of Chocolate lipliner by Bobbi Brown, fill that in with?either Retro?lipstick by MAC or Brownie lipstick by Bobbi Brown finish with?Molasses lip gloss by Kevin Aucoin.

You may only wear neon chartruse eyeshadow if you are Beyonce. That, and if you are going to wear sparkly Cleopatra eyes, you must wear jewelry which shares the same heft as chandelliers. And you still probably have to be Beyonce.

I am still on the fence about Star Jones who replaced Joan and Mellisa, poor things. There's always QVC, right? Congratulations to her for losing all the weight. But the laws of nature dictate that she should not have worn a backless dress aggravating the problem with her back to the camera. Maybe she should have had a little more fabric in the back and a better undergarment that would have smoothed all that stuff out. But congratulations to her for finally gathering her bosom rather than letting them fall where they may. The promise of the bosom is a gathered bosom. Anything else disappoints doubly. She should?never scrunch her nose for obvious reasons. She should avoid that gesture at all costs. Botox in the nose? Comportment lessons? I don't know what the answer is, Star, I'm just trying to help. And yet she needs to be congratulated on her enormous success in spite of the fact that she is not a conventional beauty. She finally got married and she's a glamour queen. She's everything she ever wanted to be and more. God bless us all if we can realize our dreams. So I say that despite the fact that she broke the laws of nature many times, she is still a winner.

I loved Chris Rock's little divet?side part with a little bit of longer hair.?Even with the bling in his ears, he had that 1920's glamour.

Here are the awards:

Best Makup:

Winner of Best Idea But Needed a Little Satin Lipstick Over That Matte Lipstick Because it Looked a Little Dry:

Winner of Worst Bronzer:(both streaky and too orange):
Mike Meyers

Winner of How Does He Stay in Business in a Town of Anorexics:
Wolfgang Puck

Winner Best Canvas:

Winner Needs a Little More Hair to Showcase His Sexiness:
Jake Gyllenhall

Winner Salt and Pepper Shakers:
Maggie Gyllenhall and Kirsten Dunst

Winner it Just Proves That if You're Gorgeous You Can Wear Anything:
Kate Winslet

Now, I just have to get a babysitter so I can catch up on all the movies.

What the Pope Eats for Breakfast

kim | 25 February, 2005 09:16

This morning, a correspondent for CNN reported on the health of the Pope. At the end of his report, he told Bill Hemmer that for breakfast the Pope ate 10 cookies with a cafe latte. When I turned the channel, Katie Couric asked her correspondent wasn't it true that the Pope was drinking all his juice and eating bread and cheese or something like that. This guy is my kind of Pope.

Why am I telling you this? It's a simple question: why do I retain what he had for breakfast but not what his ailment is?

That guy is so old and yet, and yet, he keeps blessing and praying in even with all that age in his voice. Maybe it is that he is Infallible, or maybe it's the cookies and the latte. In any case, I'll be sad when he goes. I love religious and spiritual leaders. Can you imagine devoting your whole life to God and to the service of others? You would have to be some kind of person. But more than that, he has been an awesome Pope. Good for the Jews and loving to the world. I think he'll be around for a while still, so I'm not getting ready with my goodbyes yet. He still has plenty of cookies to eat!

Project Runway

kim | 23 February, 2005 23:06

The best thing about Project Runway is that Jay won fair and square on the cohesiveness and the boldness of his collection. And that he really was, from?how the edited shows depicted him (Reality TV is notorious for creating characters via editing) a real mensch. Congratulations, Jay.?That and?I did a little photo shoot with Julia and now she's a little famous. Cable and internet famous, that is.

I just uploaded some of those photos to my gallery section. I hope Adam fixes it before you see it, because I would not win Project Photoshop if I was competing! Thanks, Adam.

Comeback Kid

kim | 23 February, 2005 14:31

I am the original comeback kid. The obstacles I've surmounted in my life - okay, I have never lived in Africa whose woes are insurmountable especially for the women - are pretty impressive. But I do have those blue times when I lose faith that the story is going to turn out okay. This is when I look for inspiration everywhere.

Today I found it in the most unlikely place: the President.

Here's a guy who was basically a ne'er do well, a free loader and a destroyer of companies. He couldn't do much right other than spend his family's money, party and get DUI's. Just my type of guy. But then something happened: he found the Lord. Which was probably good for people on the road who had the random misfortune of driving next to him. And while it's fun to disparage anything that is mired in fundamentalism, if Christ saved him, then good for him! I'm all into the saving. And then what? HE BECAME THE PRESIDENT!

So my point is: George W. Bush is our president and he's a total second act story. So can't it be like that for me too? I mean, I don't even want to be president or nothin' like that, I just want to get one measly book published. But first I have to finish it...

The Wiggles Need a Stylist

kim | 22 February, 2005 08:11

The kid loves the Wiggles. I put on tv usually to distract him while I cut his nails or if I'm really tired or if he needs to cool down. I think I use it a little too much but he's at an age right now where he wants to put his finger in every possible heated or electrically charged orafice of the house, suck on wires that have been accidentally plugged in at one end and not at the other - like computer cords or phone charging cords - or just put his hands on the stove. Oh, the beloved stove! There is nothing that he would like better than to?fuse his little fingers together?like Johnny Tremain and I'm trying to avoid peril at all costs. So it's a constant uphill struggle and if I'm very firm with him then he starts banging his head on the floor or punching himself in the face, so I have to be very gentle; but it's exhausting, so sometimes I put on the fricking tv.

I've always been a little grossed out by the Wiggles: they're gangly, terribly shaven, bad haircuts, ill-fitting garments and the over-acting can't even be called over-acting because it's so over-acted. The Wiggles give me the willies. But the kid is riveted to the show and when the songs come on he smiles and dances. Oh, how he loves to dance - that's a separate post.Then I realized: what if the Wiggles all looked like any given?random subset of actors from Ocean's Twelve? What if they were foxy, well groomed, hot bodies and amazing actors? Then we would call them gay and say they are endangering our children. People would whisper NAMBLA things. So I think the Wiggles are protecting themselves with their apparently poor hygiene. Not that they smell, I wouldn't know, although they do sweat alot on stage despite the appearance of lip synching. But, oh how I would love to change it up for them! They seem like nice enough guys and they make my kid smile and it possible for me to keep up with the kid's own hygiene. So how bad can that be?

I'm so superficial!

Maybe, I Too, Can Be Super Fantastic?

kim | 21 February, 2005 08:43

I am a big believer in, as above, so below. Or whatever that saying is. Meaning if you take care of your body, mind and spirit, your beauty will eminate naturally without having to do much. A little lipstick will help, but most of your work will be done for you. You are beautiful the way you are. I do know that it's possible to have a beautiful outside with an ugly inside. I actually know it is - I've worked in the entertainment business for eight years and I've seen it all. But I prefer working on the inside to the outside.?

But after reading the blog of Manolo the Shoeblogger, I have decided that a little tinkering on the outside might not be such a bad idea. Not to abandon the inside, but not to neglect the outside. Read my interview with him on my Spotlight page!

In Fact, I AM A Model

kim | 19 February, 2005 16:13

Well, will you look at that! I, in fact, am modelling at http://www.brooklynindustries.com/store/viewItem.asp?idProduct=2146. Please contact me if you are interested in having me as your spokesmodel. I am my own agent and I take 10%, so it's all legitimate.

All that with the 20 lbs.!

I Miss My Grandma, It's True

kim | 17 February, 2005 14:43

Dynasty is on right now. It was once my favorite show. The opulence and decadence! The jewels and?furs! The mansions and fabulous townhouses!? Al Corley and?John James! Who wouldn't want to be part of that amazing world.

But as I was looking at the makeup, I could not believe how thick it was - the?women look like drag queens.?And how old the stars were. And how yellow their teeth were. This sounds like an insult but it is really a hearkening for the truth. I miss when grown-ups had their whole,?full?lives showing on?their faces and only had makeup, hairdos. clothes and perfume to cover them up. No wonder we feel so lost. All the grown ups have gone to the dermatologists and the plastic surgeons. We no longer have no elders. Not that I neccessarily want Alexis Carrington to be my elder. Plus, you can't believe how badly and ridiculously the show was shot. It was a ridiculous show.?But people were old and I like that.

Maybe I just miss my grandma. Not that she was neccessarily like Alexis Carrington. She just had wrinkles. I miss wrinkles.

The Sisterhood

kim | 17 February, 2005 11:20

I recently got an offer to get a million magazines for free (for miles that I would never use now that I'm earth-and mostly house-bound) and Essence was on that list. It now comes every month, I guess - I usually don't even know what day it is - and I just love it. Essence's voice is so welcoming. It's definitely a "we" magazine, it's all about the sisterhood. Of course it gives great fashion and beauty advice and does all the great things a?women's magazine is supposed to do,?and sometimes better because?all the products seem so accessible?but it also never lets you off the hook. Romantically, emotionally, financially, professionally - Essence encourages you to face your blocks and gives advice how to move past them. Essence is sort of like calling up your smart girlfriend - or sister - for advice. But I don't belong to that sisterhood. I feel a little like I'm intruding. Mainstream women's magazines, which I also love, end up giving me a little anxiety. The unattainable?clothing and makeup on?the super skinny models with the photoshopped skin and tatoos. All the research on diseases. They make me feel like I don't have enough money and like I can't eat anything that doens't have a carcinogen in it and like I'm not getting enough sleep nor exercise. Which is all true, but do I need to spend $4.50 in order to reinforce all of that??I wish all magazines were a little bit more loving, inclusive and supportive. In the meantime, I will have to be one of Essence's minority readers.?

Super Shlub-tastic

kim | 15 February, 2005 22:02

Oh, I am in love again. This time it is with the Manolo. This is one of the funniest blogs you will ever read. I read it for dinner last night and then the archives for breakfast and lunch today. I cannot get enough of the Manolo. There were so many times I was crying as I was laughing; and because I am not so up on my kegels after having the kid, perhaps a little water somewhere else as well snuck out. That is how hard I laughed.

Now on to a more serious side of the Manolo. He is super fantastic and he encourages all the women to be super fantastic. And now I aspire to be super fantastic because I have a perfect road map, at least for shoes and then it all becomes clear from there on, doesn't it?

But I am tired and weary and I have a goal to finish up the old novel by March 15th (please root for me!) and I am just very super shlub-tastic these days. As soon as I'm done with the novel I will get back into my skin; but I have decided that it takes up too much worry energy of my life so I have to birth it so I can move on. But this leaves very little room for?me to be?super fantastic. But it is just for a month. Today, when I went outside, I thought maybe I should have worn some sunglasses, just in case the Manolo he would see me and say, Ptooey, which is what he often says to the super shlub-tastic like I was today.

We Love Tim

kim | 15 February, 2005 10:23

Recently, when I posted my interview with Billy B. on another website, my ass was thrashed around like shark chum by the lovely ladies there. They said I was kissing his ass. You know what? I was kissing his ass. And if he wants to bend over again, I will kiss it again. I love his work and I admire him. My interviews are meant to exalt the people I admire.? To show you why they are so cool and why they make New York pretty. I want? you to get the full effect. This is a beauty site with the word "Pretty" in the title. It is not 60 Minutes. Okay?

That being said, please visit my spotlight page today where you will meet the most gorgeous Tim Quinn of Giorgio Armani Cosmetics. I will upload to my secrets page later the best mascara you will ever use in your entire life, lovely foundation and the most delicious fragrance from?that line. I'm just having a little technical difficultly with it right now and need some help. As usual.

People would?ask when I worked at Saks - Giorgio Armani has a makeup line? It must be soooo expensive! It's completely competitive with most of the lines at Saks and is rather sheer in texture overall and sphisticated in color. I can't speak highly enough about it. And if you really want to get impressed, Pat McGrath designed it.

Happy Valentine's Day, Show-Offs

kim | 13 February, 2005 14:48

In an effort to celebrate Valentine's Day in a relaxed way, Mike and I went out on Saturday night. We went to a place that had the name of another place we had gone to years ago which had the best dessert I have ever eaten. Okay, in the top five. It was like mango, coconut and pineapple ice creams with whipped cream and walnuts covered with sugar and cayenne pepper and some other shit thrown in there, too. Lordy me, it was good!?I still remember it. True, that's sort of pathetic, but it's who I am. I like the sugar.

So we went to this place and I was all jazzed and then it became clear that we were going to spend the night tightly wedged between young, rich couples screaming about the renovations on their apartments. It was in a ritzy neighborhood. This bothered me for so many reasons: a) the screaming. Shhh. You're out to dinner. Have some manners. How nouveau riche. b) we don't own our apartment and it stresses me out. The down payment thing. We're just not there yet. It makes me gag on a regular basis. c) a + b = really trying hard to concentrate on Mike, like with tunnel vision, to get out all the noise. Did you ever try really hard to have a romantic dinner? How romantic.

But after a while it all became background noise as I sank into a bunch of lovely different conversations with the man I love most in the world and was reminded why I have such admiration for him and why I married him. And then we went somewhere else and had some pink cupcakes. Yum.

This Is Why You Need To Go Makeup Shopping With Me

kim | 12 February, 2005 18:38

Selling makeup is a hard job. I know, I did it for years. It sucks. But one thing I never, ever did - I actually prided myself on this account - was lie. While?Pamela was in town from L.A. she wanted a concealer. Anyone who knows me knows that all I will ever say to you is Christian Dior Anti-cermes (if you're white or light, because they don't go that dark in that line). And even though sometimes they have stock issues, you can always get it at the counter at Saks Fifth Avenue. And the women are so nice there. So where does Pamela go? Not Saks, that's all I'm saying. And the place she went didn't have it and they told her it was a discontinued product and that this new product replaced it. Fearing not only for myself but for other undereye-challenged women in New York, I went to the Dior counter at Saks and investigated. It was a lie. Anti-cernes are still in play. This is a new product much like YSL's Touche Eclat which is less a concealer than a highlighter. YSL was the original and the packaging is awesome, so why not get yourself some of that. The concealer? It simply cannot be beaten. If you haven't gotten yours yet, don't worry, it will be there. And if you're running low, don't panic, there's plenty to go around. Just like all of the lies behind makeup counters.

Why Can't We?

kim | 10 February, 2005 13:37

Why can't I just walk around with my gray, frizzy Jew-fro instead of shelling out $300 to look gorgeous? Oh. Because I look gorgeous. Now I remember.

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

kim | 05 February, 2005 00:29

I was just watching Cabaret, the original version and that is truly brilliant makeup. It's done in such a way that it reflects the tension of the subtext, which is?how the decadence of the time was just a cover up for the exhaustion?eveyone was experiencing in Berlin from poverty and a sort of, er,?a group lack of self-esteem. Really, the makeup is that deep. Gorgeous.?

Two Things: One Large, One Small But Completely Unrelated

kim | 03 February, 2005 00:21

Tonight is Billy B. night on my website. And why not? He's an incredible makeup artist!

But also:

In cyberspace, there is no spell check and no grammar check - and Lord knows I have errors?in punctuation?in this?here blog -?but please take note: an elipsis, three dots that indicate a pause in thought...is exactly three dots. Not two, not seven and not to be determined by the author.

Thanks, it's just a pet peeve. I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I'm just letting the elipsis-impaired know.

It's Okay To Be A Lightweight!

kim | 02 February, 2005 10:40

Growing up in New York City, I learned how to party at an illegal age. And party hard. And party with those who partied harder. It wasn't even called partying it was so hard. That's my second novel, I won't get too much into it here. Although?I'm certain that sounds so intriguing.?Suffice it to say that I loved the night, I loved staying out, I loved seeing the sunrise, I loved the streets at night between 2:00 and 5:00 in the morning when you can walk in the middle of the avenue and see all the way downtown or uptown because there were no cars to obstruct your view. And the lights against the darkness made it all seem so tinkly. I just loved the night.

When you start early, you end early, I think. And those of my former colleagues in crime who didn't stop early sound like truck drivers, long shoremen and, well, hags. All that partying can be hard on a body, especially the vocal chords. But I was lucky enough to cut out all that nonsense early on and I live a pretty clean life now, which involves going to sleep at a relatively humane hour, insomnia notwithstanding.

So last night I went out to dinner with Pamela to Alias, which is exactly across the street from where Niclole Dufresne was murdered (the candle vigil lit and hot on the actual spot which was heartbreaking and a not just a little creepy), and is also close to the same neighborhood where I got into alot of trouble as a kid. I met her at 8:00 and we were out by about 10:30. I had a decaf cafe Americano, which was pretty good, and NO DESSERT which was a small act of divine intervention, but kept me awake for a little bit but I did finally go to sleep. When I woke up this morning I was wasted tired. Sore throat, loggy, groggy, tired. So I went back to sleep. I couldn't believe it. I will do some exercize tapes tonight and I did a little on the novel but will also do some more tonight, but wow, I needed the sleep. My arms even have that heavy thing going on right now just typing.

If time travel were possible and I could transport back in time and introduce me now to me back then, I (the younger) would have really thought I (the elder) was a big dork. And while I (the elder) would know that I (the elder, again) seemed kind of dorky, I would tell me (the younger) that this is so the cooler way to go.

Welcome To Boot Camp, Darling

kim | 01 February, 2005 18:31

Last night I had another weird dream in which I was berated for my orange, oxidized highlighted hair. I truly, in my waking state,?have one inch of dark roots with, well, they are salt and pepper, who are we kidding - it may not be pretty,?but?nothing on my head is copper penny orange and the larger point is that?I am having all of these dreams?in which?I am being punished for my bad appearance. Which would lead one to believe that I forced myself harder into boot camp on my first day.

But I did not.

Let me tell you about?some of?the dieting I have done: some fat people's weight loss thing when I was 13. You can't put 13 in caps, but please do so in your mind. Gary Null, Weight Watchers, and The Zone. At least. And they all worked for me for a little while, but then when I had to settle back into my lifestyle, then the weight piled back?on. And let me tell you why: I eat cookies every day. Or ice cream, or tasti-d-lite, or Green and Black's chocolate, or sun drops or whatever. And then I eat other junky stuff, too. And I don't work out on a regular basis, only in spurts.

So this boot camp has got to be different or it's just going to be the same old thing. So here's what I'm doing: I will not work out the 8 times a week, but I will do the six. Lord have mercy. For 12 weeks? That's going to be more than I worked out in the last two years.?I feel pretty okay with six times a week. Proud, even. Then I am going to keep some of the unrefined things like brown rice and whole wheat (sugar and yeast free from le Pain Quotidien) in but dump the white ones. And you know what? I've let go of the sugar. I can't tell you how uncomfortable it is to walk around on the street not eating chocolate. But that is one of the best reasons to give it up: I can't stand anything having me by the balls. Chocolate's not the boss of me.

If I need to adjust the food, I will, but I'm simply not going to deprive myself. I know that 5 vegetables a day is good, lean protein is good, refined flours and sugar?are not. Fruit in moderation and lots of water. I prefer organic and mostly macrobiotic when I can get my hands on it, but my neighborhood sucks for macrobiotic.

Tonight I'm going out with Pamela for dinner because she's in town for a trade show. It will be my first girl's night out since I was pregnant, I think. And I'm eating past 7:30 which is something I generally won't do, but flexibility, moderation and kindness seem to better ways to go rather than rigidity, extremes and beating myself up.

This is the boot camp of love. Welcome, darling.

I Have a Present For You...

kim | 28 January, 2005 10:10

Today, in the 8 degree weather and with about 1" of gray roots showing, I am off to photograph one of the finest and most influential makeup artists of our time. Formerly I assisted him once in a while and learned so much. Hopefully just seeing his spread across the makeup table will inspire me to be the best that I can be every day. Look out for the interview soon!

It's a surprise!

Hooray For Us! Woo Hoo!

kim | 24 January, 2005 18:00

Today my friend Kyra unveiled her new website which is about her as a mom of a child who has Aspberger's. She us such a good writer and I am so tired and sick. So on the way down to the doctor, coughing like a tuberculitic - which is probably not a word - I called her almost crying about what a great writer she is and what an awful writer I am and I don't even know what my blog is about and boo hoo and my chest is on fire and the kid has crusty snots and the cab driver is on the phone (which is against the law) and we are on the FDR drive and I have a phobia of the FDR drive - it was like that.

So she says no, I don't suck, but we had been talking recently about what it was like to feel vulnerable when you put yourself out there and how we both have had times when we didn't even try because the judgemental voice was so intense. Woody Allen doesn't even see his own movies. And, frankly, after the Soon Yi Previn mess, that makes two of us. Now, I am not trying to compare myself to a incestuous adopted father nor am I calling myself a comic genius; but he is a great example of someone who gets up, writes for a few months, shoots his movies for a few months and then starts all over again. And he writes in bed. What a great job!? But he still hates himself (which, by now, we all know why) why, he's made a career of it. I, personally don't need the hot Asian chick, but that is just one of the many things that set me and Woody apart. But if he can hate himself and still keep going, so can I.

Plus, there have been so many dopes, morons and losers through my makeup chair and the only thing they had that I didn't have was a steely will against the mighty cookie?and the resolve to work out like a maniac. Man, the looked good and they were too stupid to hate themselves - because some of them really should have.

Plus, the whole point of my website is not to make you feel bad into buying makeup, but rather to help you find some products that might help you out, but my first priority is to encourage people to like themselves. Makeup or no makeup. So I should take a dose of my own medicine.

All this thinking made it really clear to me?what the purpose of my blog is: to inspire self-esteem, to showcase my humor, to talk about makeup - the products, the work and the impact?of it all -?and how I get side tracked by all of that because of the kid - so much more a full time job than I could have ever imagined.

So while you're sitting there, pat yourself on the back, plan take a nice bath, tally up all the great things you did for yourself today, do something nice for someone else anonymously (pray for a speedy recovery for me would?be a nice place to start)?and give yourself a big hug from me.

Happy Birthday, Kid!

kim | 17 January, 2005 20:20

Last year on this day I was laying in a hospital bed, a pillow across my lap and on that pillow was a tiny little person, not even 7 lbs., whom I had just spent 12 hours pushing out. I kept thinking how small he was and how precious and how breakable and how delicious and how he looked like my grandfather in his baby picture, whom I resembled in my baby picture. Now it's sort of hard to remember how tiny he was and I have to look at pictures to get the feel of it. I try to remember how light he was and what way his head favored and what his hands did.

I don't know if I'm still filled with oxytocin, but I can't imagine a time in my life when I've been filled with more love, compassion, determination and, well, hugs and kisses.

Giving birth to him gave me a newness and so for that I have to say, thanks, kid.

Today's Shoot, or Look, Ma, I Can Link!

kim | 13 January, 2005 19:31

Sorry, Noah, I didn't get you coffee. But I was up with the baby from 5:30 this morning. This morning he decided that this was the? morning that he would try out the shower with Daddy. He insisted on going in, so we let him?go in. Hysterically funny but put me back like a half hour. As it was I spent my whole morning walking back and forth with him, taking the toothpaste out of the linen closet?drawer and finding new places for it and dancing to?the quick, little electronic songs that his toys play.?It's sort of like we're at a rave?because it's electronic and we're both dancing and we're both ecstactially happy and love?each other so much.?Lucky thing I know how to put on makeup quickly.

I bent down on the floor and picked up the pieces of makeup, including brushes, from the floor where the kid had flung them randomly and started doing my makeup and after a minute I realized I was mugging for a mirror, but there was none because I was crouched on my floor.? facing my desk. So I just did it anyway, on the floor looking in no direction.

Then I went to le Pain Quotidien, a store in which I spend a ridiculous amount of money on decaf to stain my teeth and cookies the size of my face to increase my waistline but I can't help it and they are closed. It's 45 minutes after they were supposed to open and the store is dark. I need my organic decaf. Especially for a shoot day.

So Mike is very sympathetic (I'm going to drop him off in the cab near work and maybe we will get 2 seconds together, but wait! There's Prince Harry taking down the House of Windsor in the New York Post! So hard to choose. I will be with Mike forever and this is my only chance to read the paper...but I choose Mike. I love him so much.)

Then I go to Claudia's sister's doorman because Claudia was such a doll and lent me hair extensions and curling irons because I was up shit's creek without a hair dresser and she came to my aid. I now have my purse (with 2 cameras), two hair bags and a makeup suitcase. Then I went to Dunkin' Donuts and got a large decaf hazelnut and? blueberry muffin (which, out of guilt, I subsequently left?for Noah on the makeup table despite the fact that I caught?him sneaking his lunch, not sharing) I suppose I could have gotten?him a coffee. I apologize.

I got there at the nick of 9, and we only had 4 hours because of me and my nanny situation. Two girls, 6 looks. Oh my goodness.

Debbie came on time. She looked a little like Kate Bosworth and had sweet kitten of a personality. First look, always the easiest, took like a fricking hour. Like my fingers aren't working yet. The other problem is that I have an idea in my head and I try to stick to it keeping in mind the person in front of me, which rarely is an exact match of what I am thinking of. It's like an adjustment period. But there's also like finding things and checking out her skin and shiny or matte? Nude lips or pink? The look is matte and nude but her face screams shiny and pink. But this is the first in a series of three, or maybe now that Noah wants to go on the roof since the city has been engulfed by white cotton candy clouds, four (although Noah always wants to go on the roof and, to be fair, takes great pictures on the roof) looks that I need to keep a certain thread or level of continuity or?the whole thing is?just going to look stupid. And then there's the hair, which I have to perfectly slick back in a ponytail while keeping the side part and I just did makeup for the studio and now we're going outside. Adjustments. And I wasn't centered when I came in, you know?

So then we come back down and I offer some dumb direction for the posing and get out of there, because I have to figure out my big mess that I dumped everything out on the table because I was in a rush. Man, would the kid have a ball.

I forgot my hairspray and I'm going to be working with heat - curling irons and hot rollers - today. I don't have time for the learning curve of Claudia's kind offer. I'm too stupid and busy for it. But I need hairspray.

I get through the next look, more shimmery, a deeper gold/green eye with the emphasis under the eye, which is a departure for me and a golden lip and I curl her hair with a 1 3/4"? barrel curling iron and then tease the hell out of it with my hands to make it messy.

Then Chloe came while I was finishing and I needed to do Chloe's hair while Debbie was getting shot and I knew I was going to need hairspray and would have no time to get any, so I sent Noah out who did a fine job by getting me actually what I requested. Hard for a guy, I think.

I did one more look on Debbie, curled and messed her hair up even more, made her skin tan, lightened her eyes put lots of mascara on her and Vitamin E oil on her lips because they are naturally pink but a little chapped and I wanted them liquidy but not gooey.

In the meanwhile, I'm channelling Dita Von Teese on Chloe. Are you bored yet? I'm tired just writing about it. Tired of thinking about it. There was one more look on Chloe but I had to hightail it out of there so I could get money for the nanny who I almost forgot to pay (3 minutes before she left she softly inquired if I was going to be having a nice weekend) last week and get some lunch. It was 1:20.

I didn't eat until 2:00, which was fine because I am restoring all those precious lost calories by eating ice cream now. Then I will feel bad about myself, clean up, write a few pages in my novel, upload a few pictures to Flickr and go to sleep.

I hope we got some good pictures.

New Pictures Coming!

kim | 12 January, 2005 09:11

Last night, after I spent the day?goint to two doctors appointments, tried to iron out more website problems (they keep coming!), planned my son's birthday more, dealt with some insurance problems, and spent the afternoon with the (funnier than ever!) kid, made dinner for me and Mike, I went to Noah's at 8:30 to do some lighting tests.

Using me as a model (okay, seriously now, no more cookies!), we worked on the lighting/background scenarios for our shoot tomorrow. This is where I wish that I could be split in two. There was so much to talk about, so much to explore, so much to futz around with. First of all, I need to lose minimally 20 lbs and more like 30 if I ever want an acting career, which right now I don't. Second of all, when there's a camera and beautiful lighting, all I want to do is makeup and there wasn't enough time to do it! I wish I could have done?a shoot right then and there. I love doing makeup so much.

Tomorrow we are doing two girls, Debbie and Chloe. Debbie's really beautiful but I haven't seen many pictures of Chloe so we'll see what happens.

The nerve wracking thing about?a shoot is that there are so many microscopic details that can go wrong that you only find out afterward, when it's too late. I thought she looked like this and she really looked like this. I thought the lighting was goingt to look like that and instead it looked like that. I forgot to groom that other eyebrow, and there's a piece of hair going across her face that we can't photoshop out. That was not the right color lipstick. her lipstick is bleeding. She looks cross-eyed in that picture. There definitely is a learning curve and I think it takes time to get with someone else's style. Me and Noah have been working together since about August and I think we've done some good shit together, but it hasn't been often enough.

So I think tomorrow will be great. A new leaf and a new set of images. Because as gorgeous as Tessa is, I'm a little sick of looking at the same picture on my website every day. And I'm sure you are, too.

Support is Pretty

kim | 10 January, 2005 23:18

I have a friend who was?incredibly generous with me when I was having?the big nursing crisis. After my doctor gave me bad advice that made my milk supply evaporate to nothing, she talked to me every day, multiple times a day about the boobie, the seven?fricking droplets of?milk I would pump every 45 fricking minutes, how many ounces the baby weighed and how to shake it out in the hot shower like a porn star?to get every droplet out. She made one of the biggest disappointments of my life funny and bearable and never gave up on me. When I decided to give up after trying harder than anyone in history to make it work after one's doctor totally screwed it up for her, she supported me through my tears. Then there was the sleeping nightmare. She would let me put the phone down, go to the kid, do the soothing thing and then come back and cry to her on the phone. She is the one of the most loving and supportive people I know.

And I just have to say for myself, if you're a friend of mine, I will do anything in my power to help you. I will extend myself way beyond all limits if you are hurting, happy or just want to eat some cookies. I'm quite a devoted friend.

So this friend of mine, who is so awesome, her kid has Asperger's which is sort of like Autism, but her delicious kid is higher functioning. But nobody is there for her. I'm in a different state, so I can call and lend support but I can't go over there and drop off a casein-free, gluten-free lasagna or even some grilled fish and vegetables (without soy sauce). Which I would totally make by hand if I was there.

So I ask you, people: if you know someone who is having a difficult time and or you feel judgemental about it or it scares you, please get over yourself and help anyway. Please watch one less half hour of tv and do something that is hard for you but would help someone else. Send money, volunteer, call up someone who is lonely and give some love.

When you help someone else, it might make you feel better and when you feel good you look good.

Prettier and Prettier!

kim | 05 January, 2005 22:51

I am so excited! I am spending a new and different fortune to update my site for you, my reader, and also, truth be known, to make my site way more kick-ass than it is.

Sorry I haven't updated, which I plan to do bi-weekly. I'm waiting for Noah to help me with some imaging software. Always waiting for Noah. Oh, Noah.

It's not his fault, it's Ray's. Just joking, Ray. Ray is a rock star.

But just you wait, it's gonna be awesome!

Breathing Helps

kim | 05 January, 2005 13:33

During the day when you feel tense, angry, anxious, sad, worried, frustrated, belittled, overly-entitled or hungry but full just breathe.?

Tip for a Rainy Day

kim | 05 January, 2005 09:13

In New York it's? raining and Camilla says it might snow. We just got back from a sunny dry place and I don't think I'll go out for another two days. Today I will blow out my hair and put on my Cherries in the Glow lip gloss, a sheer red this side of neutral, so I don't feel like such a?greasy slug?while I chase the kid around the house. If you go out, you should do the same although wind does mess lip gloss up a bit.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

kim | 24 December, 2004 12:51

Before my non-Jewish husband and I married, we agreed to raise a Jewish family and have a solely Jewish household. I always dated non-Jews and I never thought it would be a problem. In adulthood, however, I sort of returned to the faith (not that I had ever strayed - we were not very religious) and became bat mitzvah at 31. Then it became an issue. I think when Jews start families, no matter how secular, it becomes an issue. There are only 8 million of us and we are genetically predisposed to fear our extinction, so intermarrying becomes a big?issue.

My family doesn't really give a shit about religion and I loved Mike and he agreed to do the Jew thing and everything was fine. But then we had the kid and we visit his family every year for Christmas?and they are not Jewish.

It's driving me up a wall! They got him a stocking (with a Jewish kid's name on it? Whatever.), they're trying to teach him about Santa Claus and they want to seduce him with their pretty and tinkly Christmas tree! And I won't even get into the carroling. I keep getting really still like I do when he does something that I don't want to reinforce with either praise or rancor, like when he jabs me in the eye and laughs. If I don't respond, then there's no reason to do it again. Children need a reaction from their environment. But that's not going to work with a huge family. If I'm quiet nobody will notice and if I'm still, I'm certain the kid will ingest an ornament.

So I guess I will just accept the fact that they love him and they want to lavish him with love and gifts in the way they know and it's much better than being given a blue and white Jewish dunce cap. If he were singled out how would he feel then? Plus, they're my family, too and I love them.

I wonder what they got me?

In Love

kim | 12 December, 2004 19:52

I have taken myself a new lover. I am obsessed all the time. I want to do it every minute of every day. I?am nervous, I am giddy.?I dream about it:?my camera.?

I don't have the absolute best camera in the whole wide world, but it's good enough. The Nikon Coolpix 5400. Noah recommended it?for me, so what ever?he said, I did. I'm not sure if we're talking?anymore since he has not returned of my 3 emails. But that's a different blog entry.

The camera is sort of flat in a way, it seems to have trouble with deep focus so that it blurs everything around it, like a fancy camera. Mostly because it's digital. And don't breathe while you're taking a picture or do anything else or else you will lose your focus and it will fuzz. I haven't figured out all the settings yet, but I've taken hundreds of pictures and I'm starting to get the hang of it. It's really like a man. It doesn't do what you want it to at first, but if you take a while to break each other in, then you might be really happy. It has a video feature and I've taken really fun short movies of the kid. His first few steps have been duly documented.

I wanted the flog to be a visual companion to the blog and I could have had them written together but I wanted to be part of a larger community. Now I am completely humbled by joining fotolog.net along with thousands of amateur and kick ass photographers.? I am posting my photos for people to see, to judge and to criticize. Or ignore. Which is really what is happening. I don't know how long it takes for someone to notice you, but I'm being ignored and that's worse than being criticized. But it's only been two days and I really did it for you, my reader, and for me, because I love to take photos, apparently.

As soon as Adam, ahem, does the proper linking, you can click onto my page and take a look. I will be posting every day unless there is an illness or there's really not anything interesting to say visually. Or if I'm chawing on something.

Look for everything surrounding beauty, humor, the city and I'm trying to work it out to do my own makeup differently all the time but I haven't figured out how to make myself look good in my camera yet. And I will look like crap for you, as long as the lighting and the angles are right.

Bylaws For A Creative Life

kim | 08 December, 2004 19:09

1. Work with users, assholes and losers only if the work is good. If the work is not good and you're miserable, dump them. Especially if you're working for free.

2. Have fun. This is your life.

3. Keep working at it. You will have a million failures and one day it'll hit. Do you know what Jessica Simpson looked like 4 years ago??Like she had escaped from the beauty salon for the criminally insane. And now she looks like a million bucks and makes far more than that.

4. Get a peer group. Or a peer.

5. If someone is discouraging you, listen to what they are saying and then pull wide focus and take a look at their life. They don't know what they are talking about.

6. Don't take yourself so seriously.

7. Do take walks.

8. Stay in shape, because it's fun not because it's oppresive.

9. Watch movies, read books, do something else.

10. Start a website and write a blog. Get in line.

11. There's always b-school or law school*: big, fat buildings waiting?to gulp down?artists who lost their nerve and spit them out into the beige ether. Don't walk in.

*I love lawyers, don't get me wrong, I truly do - but some people were born to practice law and others to write short fiction and make films, and sometimes the latter get scared and give up. That's all I meant.




kim | 22 November, 2004 21:56

Miss Oprah Winfrey, you must tell me what you do to your audience members! They are so?beautiful and always perfectly turned out.?Their hair color is always glistening and bright. Their hairstyles all perfectly placed. Even if it's a rare bad hairdo, it's polished. Then there is the makeup: never a big, black swipe of liner on the inner lid and nothing else. Never blue eyeshadow. Always concealer. No mater the physical challenge, the women who come to worship you everyday look beautiful. Is it the lighting? Maybe just 1%. Is it the digitizing? Maybe 1%. Maybe it's just the love you eminate, Oprah. I love you, too, but I do it from New York, so I don't think the Oprahwaves?reach through the tv. I think I would have to be on your set. One day...


kim | 20 November, 2004 08:11

I have a friend, I won't drop any names here but let's just say she's a bit of a rock star, who is all about the re-launch. Every time your life takes a new turn or every time you want it to, you re-launch. New hairdo, different makeup, new style clothing but most of all a re-comittment to yourself and your goals.

I'm also all about the re-launch, obviously, because I'm a makeup artist, but my?personal re-launch?is often more subtle and internal. Perhaps the chief reason being I can't always afford a full material one. However, this week something beautiful happened. After all these years of internal re-ordering, I finally realized what is one of my biggest blocks: indecision. When I realized what has been the cause of so much heartache and lost time in my life, it fell away like fall leaves. I ordered lunch quickly and with authority. I threw away scrappy pieces of paper. I bought that special pen for myself as a gift for being such a great mother, wife and worker.

Now my next project is the last 20 lbs. my son insisted I gain while he was inside of me. "More cheeseburger deluxes, Mommy! And make it snappy!" There are very few pints of ice cream allowed?during a re-launch.

Friends and Tofu

kim | 16 November, 2004 21:11

Today I decided that it might be a really great idea to write my hurculean to-do list in a peaceful macrobiotic environment so that all that tofu might absorb some of my anxiety. You know it takes on any flavor near it. So there I was, sitting down and who do I see but this other makeup artist who I knew about 3 years ago. Now she's someone who?can make skin look so amazing that you can't believe it. She's a natural. I love her work and she's so pretty and cool and has the most beautiful daughter and is naturally skinny. You know.

So I sat down with her and she's so cute and sweet and pleasant and grown up and innocent all at the same time. We have the sweetest conversation about motherhood, makeup, and just fill in the gap of the last three years.

And when it's time to go, and it is always time to go, I realized that the Universe had arranged a lunch date for me and didn't tell me until the last minute.

I'm so glad Wendy did my hair and I had a little makeup on. You know.

World Problems, Finally Solved!

kim | 15 November, 2004 19:13

Today, I made another woman's dreams come true. Ten minutes after I reported for work, the other makeup artist who I really like and who really likes me, yelled at me about my roots being gray. She is groomed within an inch of her life, which is not my style, but I still like to look good.

In a former, pre-kid life, I loved to provoke people with my shoddy appearance because it was like a shallow-people-ometer. But then, one day, I realized it just makes me look shoddy. So I stopped. But I really haven't had time and my hairdresser, who often goes underground, has gone underground and I was just waiting for her to re-surface.

So there I was, getting my roots graciously done by the hair person and the makeup person says, HALLELUYAH! And in walks the Middle East Chief Correspondent?for that channel and they begin talking. I politely interrupt and ask if I can ask a few questions.

Do you think the region will change now after Arafat's death? No, he replies. Is there a chance for peace? No, not really. Never, he replies. But I'm getting my roots dyed light brown. The earth will not spin off it's axis. I was sure that the Middle East Conflict would be resolved now that I'm not showing any gray.

How often do you get to use the the Middle East Correspondant to make a joke to another makeup artist? Now that's high production value. It was a good day.

Oh, Happy Day

kim | 12 November, 2004 19:09

Today is a good day for women. I met the esteemed former prosecuter Linda Fairstein and she informed me that the almost 500,000 rape kits sitting on the shelves of police stations across the nation?which were not being tested for?DNA because there was "no funding," are finally being taken off the shelves and tested. In fact, in New York State, most of them are off the shelves.

So many lives will be spared. Now that's really pretty.

Run Humanity Run!

kim | 07 November, 2004 20:20

I hate the NYC Marathon. Last year when I was 8 months pregnant and carrying a big, heavy makeup bag, they would not let me cross the street and I spent about $30 on a cab trying to get home.

But then today?there were thousands of people running and a kajillion people cheering them on. These runners, who owe me $30, were being cheered on by the population of NYC and all their relatives who flew in to watch them.? Hooting revelers lined the streets and encouraged runners?with loud?waves of love up and down the avenue. My heart was warmed and I forgave them their debt. I was blown away that people were so supportive of their friends, their loved ones and, by extension, total strangers. Maybe we're not totally screwed after all.

Then me and Mike and the kid went outside and took a stroll. The bars were packed like Japanese subways with the hooting revelers. Most of the runners were done by the time we got out but there were a few stragglers. Like Leroy, the guy on crutches flanked by two people with signs saying, "Go Leroy!" Which made the hooting revelers do so more. As we passed a bar not fiiled with fond memories for me, I could see that they were beginning to be, or already were, perhaps quite drunk. So maybe it wasn't love of humanity, but more love of beer that sent people out in droves.?

But I think, just for tonight, I will believe in the human spirit instead.

Women Unite

kim | 04 November, 2004 07:59

Some ways we currently enjoy our legal freedoms: posting nude pictures of ourselves on the internet, use birth control when having sex, walking around late at night and enjoy pinpoints of security.

We are sleepwalking. The Equal Rights Amendment still has not been passed, rape kits sit on shelves wasting away while criminals walk the streets and are free to commit crimes and the Right to Choose is in more jeapordy than ever before. For starters. Elizabeth Cady Stanton fought for the right to vote and died without ever being able to.

If we want to secure our rights and demand greater ones, we have to get off our asses. Local government is a great way to start.

Democracy Plaza

kim | 02 November, 2004 19:03

Doesn't a Japanese company own Rockerfeller Plaza? Just saying.

The P The I The D...

kim | 02 November, 2004 09:45

Puffy, PDiddy, Sean Combs was interviewed today at the place where I'm freelancing. Not knowing whether he needed makeup I ran (literally) down to the makeup room from the other makeup room to come to his aid.

Alas, he did not need me as there were several people in his employ in the tiny room which was flanked by his security. It was hard to count how many people were in the room. I did not want to linger and get a count.

He asked me questions only a producer could answer - I'm often mistaken for a producer - and I told him I was the makeup artist, I just wanted to see if he needed help but it seemed that he didn't, so I would get him a producer. One of his minions asked me if I would feel more comfortable taking my bag with me out of the room, as there were so many of them. I looked at Puff or Didd or Sean and told him that I'm sure there was nothing I had that he needed unless he needed my Palm Pilot and $20. He said he would take the $20 and I offered him a paltry $17 from my jean jacket pocket. We both laughed, more like a smile with an exhale of air and then I scooted right out of there.

I made a joke with Puffy. hee hee.

Whoops! Don't Tell!

kim | 01 November, 2004 09:44

No matter how much a man sweats, if I just powdered him, there is no way that a man can shine on one miniscule dot in the middle of his forehead. That's a sparkle, from my eye shadow, that transfered on to him in that mysterious way that sparkles get everywhere. My sparkle was on national tv this morning. My sparkle is famous!

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