Death On the Runway--It's Called Lip Gloss, People
kim | 29 January, 2006 22:33
Makeup for the runway must offer the simplest, clearest bust most of all cohesive way to convey the designer's concept so that the main artist can show the other artists quickly and they can get through as many girls as they need to quickly. Oddly, this season has revealed a new function: how to make women look the most dead in their makeup while they are wearing beautiful garments.
Dior is out of control these days, I think Pat McGrath does it still, and she's the only one (with the exception of Stephane Marais) who could get away with such ugly theatrics. Actually, I think Pat McGrath is doing almost every show, doesn't she rule the runway now? To be clear, if and when I see Pat McGrath, I will fall to my knees and my hands will fall over my head to the ground. I worship this woman. Perhaps she's sort of like DeNiro and Pachino under the mis-management of that guy who directed the awful, "Heat" or Gwyneth and Jessica Lange in that awful mother in law movie. You get my point. Maybe it's not her fault, just bad direction.
Armani just wants you to see the clothes and so Pat--I assume it was Pat because she designed the makeup collection--which is brilliant and one of my favorites--made it all very beigey with dewey, perfect skin. There is no dewey without perfection; you can't have a wrinkle, a blemish or an imperfection on your skin if you're going to annoint it with a reflective substance (unless you're talking about that MAC Sheer Shimmer--but that's shimmer, not shine). Youth rules, again. And so does Pat.
Chanel. Chanel. He is killing his brides over there will pale faces and sheer lavender and hospital green shadow all around their eyes. The corpse bride. Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby in her first trimester? Carmen Kass looks simply embalmed. Have you ever seen those Dior ads where she's dipped in gold?
And Valentino. It's like the 80's Eurotrash PowerBitch who died from a cocaine overdose was exhumed but had not yet removed her makeup.
I mean, come on, people. Women are alive. They are spending money on your garments. Don't kill them. All it takes is a little lip gloss.
At least Lacroix gave us a Grecian goddess. Back to the '80's with the big eyebrows, but modern everywhere else. Don't over pluck, you guys. They don't grow back most of the time.
Elie Saab got a little Roccoco with the hair and simple with the makeup. They didn't have Amazing Concealer back then, either. But we have it now, so...everybody needs concealer. Don't let the illusion of perfection fool you. It doesn't exist past 12. Mkay?
At least Gaultier tried, with the tan faces and the gold liner on the inside and the liquid liner on the outside. No lips, though. They look like tan corspes or alcholics just back from St. Bart's, if they were starring in a stage version of Blade Runner there.
Let's please hope there's a little more blood in New York. You know there's plenty here.
dear heart, i'm nodding my head in agreement. all it takes is a little lip gloss (for most of us, ahem).